Roll Call 198

SlumberKitty

I did. She either wants me to go see my GP or go to urgent care. crap. I hope I don't get hospitalized.

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Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA

Sometimes psychotic

Hugs SK….I hope not too.

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Hugs!

Blue_Bird

I have 4 very ripe bananas and am not sure what to do with them because I know I can't eat all of them before some go bad and don't want to waste them. Thinking of either freezing them for smoothies or making banana bread

I'm down from 4-6 cups of caffeineted coffee a day to 1-2 cups of caffeineted coffee a day. So that's a big improvement. Though I have a headache. But it will get better over time. I took some ibuprofen with my 2nd/final cup of caffeineted for the day. I do have decaf I drink too just because there's something about coffee and a book that go well together.

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My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

The_little_didgee

How are you doing? Did you get your wounds tended to?

Are you feeling acutely suicidal? If not they shouldn't admit you to hospital.

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Dx: Didgee Disorder

cogladaid

Rash is still on my face. Now joined with a headache. I was feeling off and a bit loopy earlier so I left work early. Contacted the doctor and he sent me for blood tests. I see him on Friday morning.

I’m just worried it’s either something really bad, or it’s a lamotrigine rash and I have to start all over with medication (valproic acid is all I think I really have left for mood stabilizers?) so I’m not really happy.

I know it’s not COVID I did a test earlier.

I just ate pizza. I’ve been so distracted by this rash I haven’t even thought about food. Which I guess is a good thing. My sister commented a little while ago that I’m looking thinner all the time. Which made me a bit uncomfortable but whatever.

It’s like if it’s not one thing it’s another. I’m going to have another drink. Drown my sorrows a bit.

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Sometimes psychotic

Banana bread is classic and freezes well…

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Hugs!

SlumberKitty

I am struggling but I am trying to feel better. I woke up at 2 AM this morning because I was so distressed.

I went to urgent care yesterday because my GP was full. Urgent care didn't do crap. They were like, oh you're a cutter?! (I hate that term. I prefer self harmer.)



But they blew me off. They just rewrapped it, not even as good as I had it wrapped. No after care instructions. No what to look for if it gets infected. Nothing. Total waste of time.

I got home and I called my GP to see if there had been any cancellations. My GP got on the phone. I tried to explain that I needed sutures. But she said if urgent care didn't do them, she wouldn't. I tried to explain that I had been discriminated against because they were self inflicted but she blew me off. She told me to leave the bandage alone and to come see her next week. UGH. I was so frustrated. I thought about going to the ER but I've had bad experiences there getting care too. Sometimes they just rewrap it and send me home. One doctor got verbally and physically angry with me. Sometimes they send me for a psych consult. Once I ended up hospitalized. So I decided to just deal with it myself even though they really needed to be taken care of better.

It felt like no one cared. I expressed that frustration to a friend and she ripped me a new one. So I had to apologize and tell her I was just venting. That was what it felt like at that moment. That's what I get for trying to express my feelings.

I am trying to feel better today and to turn the page and get back to healthier coping methods. I tried to get a sooner appointment with my pdoc but he is full until April and I have an appointment in April anyway. Besides I already know he isn't going to do anything about this.

I felt bad because my new T texted me a bunch yesterday. I told her she could charge me for a session but she said no. I hope I don't push her away.

I'm frustrated with my symptoms. (hallucinations played a big role yesterday) and I am frustrated with my actions. And I am frustrated that I couldn't get good care. And I am frustrated that my friends didn't seem to understand. But I am trying to breathe and relax and just be chill today. I had to come to work, which maybe is better because it will take my mind off of things. I am looking forward to this weekend when I can hopefully get a nap or two.

HUGS kit

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Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA

Sometimes psychotic

Hugs SK.

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Hugs!

SlumberKitty

Thank you SP

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Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA

Blue_Bird

Sorry that they treated you so poorly SK I have been to the ER once for self harm, thankfully the nurse and the person there doing my stitches were very kind to me. I had gone off my meds on my own and spiraled out of control. I wish there was less stigma.

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My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

Blue_Bird

I hope you have a relaxing weekend SK

__________________

My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

Blue_Bird

I went grocery shopping today.Tomorrow morning I have a dentist appointment to get fillings done. Going to my friend's house on Saturday to play some games

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My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

SlumberKitty

Going to your friends house on Saturday sounds fun. Is the weather better there?

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Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA

Blue_Bird

Yeah should be fun, we always have fun hanging out

Its in the 30's farenheit most days lately, so it's a lot better/warmer than it was. Most of the foot of snow we got on the weekend has melted. I can't wait till spring though because I get to take my Nikon out to the park, lake, and rose garden to take pics. Will have to wait till it's much warmer though because my sister will be taking me and I don't want to drag her out when it's cold out

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My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

Blue_Bird

I'm thinking of going to that cafe again at the end of next week, by myself this time. To get a cappuccino and just kind of get out for a bit. Sit down in there by myself and drink it

__________________

My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

SlumberKitty

Sounds great!

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Dum Spiro Spero
IC XC NIKA

cogladaid

I had a rough night. Chills, body aches, and fever. Didn’t take lamotrigine this morning. Feeling better.

See my doctor tomorrow.

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Desoxyn

Cold shower, nice peripheral norepinephrine boost =]

Hugs @SK - I wasn't discriminated any time that I came into the ER for substance use.. So all of that is really disheartening..

People are cruel - And society is kind of decaying, everyone is opinionated, divided and disconnected by technology.. Don't take them seriously.. There's people in the world that aren't so lacking of empathy, compassion etc.. But they're harder to find now..

Here is a good group though, a good example =]

Blue_Bird

Hope things go well with your doctor Cogladaid

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__________________

My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

Blue_Bird

Just had an episode of low blood sugar. Like shaking very badly etc I just quickly ate and am hoping it gets into my system soon

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__________________

My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/

“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi