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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 06:13 AM
  #421
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I feel like I'm just a hallucination. That's just what it seems like. I know I am.. And should just distract myself. But the isolation I went through.. It's like that thing. I'm just calculating, feeling, thought thought thought...

I know you’re real. But if you were a hallucination (which I don’t think you are) you’re pretty cool and you deserve to hang around and be happy.

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 10:23 AM
  #422
Got up at 6am. Did a lot of cleaning, also did laundry. Ready for tomorrow. The bus comes at 9am tomorrow, should be dropping me off at the stop at 9:14am. The stop is right in front of the place I’m volunteering at. I don’t start till 10am but I wanted to get there early the first day especially since I’ve never been there before. I always have to get places early if I’ve never been there before. Just to make sure I’m not late and that I have an idea of my surroundings and where I’m at.

I’m a weird mixture of extremely nervous and super excited at the same time.

I just want today to be done with already so it can be tomorrow and I can start

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 10:27 AM
  #423
Have an appointment with my therapist on Thursday. Will be nice to tell her about the volunteering at that place. She’s the one who initially mentioned it in our last session so I applied immediately after because it would be a good fit for me.

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 12:28 PM
  #424
Was super depressed this weekend. On Saturday I had a couple of Zoom meetings in the morning then picked up my prescriptions, went to the bank, and went to a fast food drive through. I spent the rest of the day at home, mostly in bed. Yesterday I didn't feel good. It was either a sinus headache or a migraine. Not sure which. I took sinus medicine. Then like 2 hours later migraine medicine. Then like two hours later aspirin. Finally felt better. I stayed home from Church yesterday. Actually I didn't leave my home at all but I did manage a shower. Yeah me! Had to come to work today. Blah.

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 12:28 PM
  #425
My T hasn't texted me a reminder yet for my appointment tomorrow. I hope she does. I like those little reminders.

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 01:33 PM
  #426
It’s been 4 days of not taking my Zoloft and I’m starting to feel kind of depressed today. And having sui thoughts. I don’t know if it’s related or not.

I called today and asked for a refill. My doctor has to approve it first. It takes 24-48 hours for them to call it in to the pharmacy.

I feel like I have no one. No family. Nothing. I might as well not have family

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 01:43 PM
  #427
HUGS Blue_Bird. It might not help, but you have us. HUGS kit

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 02:07 PM
  #428
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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird View Post
It’s been 4 days of not taking my Zoloft and I’m starting to feel kind of depressed today. And having sui thoughts. I don’t know if it’s related or not.

I called today and asked for a refill. My doctor has to approve it first. It takes 24-48 hours for them to call it in to the pharmacy.

I feel like I have no one. No family. Nothing. I might as well not have family

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Hey we’re always here for you. I know we’re far away but we care.

Do you have some self care things to help your through the day? Petting your cats? Fluffy things always help me.

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 02:15 PM
  #429
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Originally Posted by cogladaid View Post
Hey we’re always here for you. I know we’re far away but we care.

Do you have some self care things to help your through the day? Petting your cats? Fluffy things always help me.

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Thank you, I appreciate that

I am not sure, right now, I’m laying in bed crying , I was trying to read a book about the upward spiral it’s about overcoming depression and I was fine reading it but today everything in it is just making me feel worse/reading facts about depression is just making me cry more. I feel like no one in my actual life would even notice if I disappeared.

I can pet my cats, not sure what else to do. I guess I could paint or play a game

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 02:25 PM
  #430
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Thank you, I appreciate that

I am not sure, right now, I’m laying in bed crying , I was trying to read a book about the upward spiral it’s about overcoming depression and I was fine reading it but today everything in it is just making me feel worse/reading facts about depression is just making me cry more. I feel like no one in my actual life would even notice if I disappeared.

I can pet my cats, not sure what else to do. I guess I could paint or play a game

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Painting I think would be good to do! How about one of those figures? I think that would be fun to paint. Think of when you can play that game next (I’m not up to speed on all the board games people play).

Think of the good things in life. Pets and games and activities. I believe in you.

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 02:32 PM
  #431
I’m getting my hair cut tomorrow! I’m so excited. Going from tailbone to below the ear bob.

I mean honestly since I decided I want my hair cut I’m about ready to just cut off my braid.

Also, get a load of this cannelloni my mom made:

Roll Call 198

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 02:33 PM
  #432
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Painting I think would be good to do! How about one of those figures? I think that would be fun to paint. Think of when you can play that game next (I’m not up to speed on all the board games people play).

Think of the good things in life. Pets and games and activities. I believe in you.

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Thank you! Yes I’m about to set up my paint to work on painting that figure I started yesterday now, I should have time tomorrow after the volunteering to play one of my games

Maybelle is hanging out in my painting area. Mustachio is in her hammock lol

Painting really helps relax me and it is fun to do especially while listening to music

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 02:36 PM
  #433
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I’m getting my hair cut tomorrow! I’m so excited. Going from tailbone to below the ear bob.

I mean honestly since I decided I want my hair cut I’m about ready to just cut off my braid.

Also, get a load of this cannelloni my mom made:

Roll Call 198

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I hope you enjoy your new haircut

I had a similar thing where my hair was so long, I wanted to get it cut but didn’t have the patience to go to a salon so I cut it to right above my shoulders, I don’t recommend that but thats what I did. Doesn’t look wonderful but at least it feels better. Yours should come out much better since you’re getting it done professionally. Next time I get a haircut it will be done professionally lol

That food looks amazing holy crap

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 02:38 PM
  #434
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I hope you enjoy your new haircut

I had a similar thing where my hair was so long, I wanted to get it cut but didn’t have the patience to go to a salon so I cut it to right above my shoulders, I don’t recommend that but thats what I did. Doesn’t look wonderful but at least it feels better. Yours should come out much better since you’re getting it done professionally. Next time I get a haircut it will be done professionally lol

That food looks amazing holy crap

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I usually get my mom to cut my hair. Usually just a trim. I haven’t been to a salon since 2015.

I mean it’s not a hugely complicated haircut but I want it to look right and my mom suggested I get it done professionally so it’ll look nicer.

I’ve had bad times where I cut my hair myself and my mom would fix it lol.

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 03:04 PM
  #435
Here’s some progress pics of the figure. I’m gonna finish it later in the week. Just painted for 30 min today. I just realized I’ve painted every day for the past 3 or 4 days straight. That’s good
Attached Images
File Type: jpg 7C19C3EB-66C9-4A1E-96B0-77960F087E8F.jpg (299.6 KB, 4 views)
File Type: jpg 20E8B94B-B483-4239-8379-9059064B262B.jpg (249.2 KB, 4 views)
File Type: jpg 4A9C32E7-0924-4706-A458-656F4D98BAB8.jpg (275.0 KB, 4 views)

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 03:16 PM
  #436
After I’m done with this one I have two more hero’s to paint.


Then after that I have all these figures to paint Which are enemies in the game.

I’m gonna try to learn/work on some new painting techniques over the next several months and try to get better at them
Attached Images
File Type: jpg 341BD146-95BD-416B-8931-E01827C6D50E.jpg (368.6 KB, 5 views)

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 03:19 PM
  #437
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Originally Posted by cogladaid View Post
I usually get my mom to cut my hair. Usually just a trim. I haven’t been to a salon since 2015.

I mean it’s not a hugely complicated haircut but I want it to look right and my mom suggested I get it done professionally so it’ll look nicer.

I’ve had bad times where I cut my hair myself and my mom would fix it lol.

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Lol yeah I can’t wait for my hair to grow out more so I can get this fixed

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 03:22 PM
  #438
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Was super depressed this weekend. On Saturday I had a couple of Zoom meetings in the morning then picked up my prescriptions, went to the bank, and went to a fast food drive through. I spent the rest of the day at home, mostly in bed. Yesterday I didn't feel good. It was either a sinus headache or a migraine. Not sure which. I took sinus medicine. Then like 2 hours later migraine medicine. Then like two hours later aspirin. Finally felt better. I stayed home from Church yesterday. Actually I didn't leave my home at all but I did manage a shower. Yeah me! Had to come to work today. Blah.

I hope you feel better soon

That’s good that you got a shower. It’s hard to do that sometimes. I just took one so now I’m ready for tomorrow. Have the rest of the night to do whatever I want. I got all household chores done earlier in the day.

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 03:42 PM
  #439
I've cut my hair before too and had my Mom cut it but every third or fourth time I have to go to the salon so they can fix it.

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Default Mar 20, 2023 at 04:45 PM
  #440
I feel like I have to constantly distract myself otherwise I slip back into being depressed the second I have 5 seconds to think.

I also am worried about tomorrow. I’m worried they’ll think I’m not doing a good job and not want me there

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