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Default May 24, 2023 at 07:37 AM
  #861
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Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus View Post
Blue_Bird, you're not alone in that. I feel like a failure a lot of the time as well. It is not easy to have good self-esteem, whatever that means.

What I find especially difficult is comparing myself to other people who maybe have it easier than me.

For example, last night I went on a date, and all I could really think about is that it wasn't going to work out with this person in particular. I still had a good time, but it always sucks knowing I don't have the resources to be in a loving relationship with someone. I don't know, that's just my personal situation.

But I understand what you're saying. It's hard.

Yeah I do that a lot too, comparing myself to others. I’m sorry about your date not working out.

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Default May 24, 2023 at 09:41 AM
  #862
Just got back from my doctor appointment for my pap exam. He said everything looks good, I’ll have results in about 2 weeks. Set up an appointment with him for my next regular physical in December. Gave me the bloodwork paperwork to get done two weeks before that. So it’s a fasting one so can’t have food after midnight until I get the blood work done the following morning. I can drink water though. Won’t have to worry about that till the end of November. But I should make a note in my calendar so I remember to fast for it

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Default May 24, 2023 at 11:10 AM
  #863
I hurt my knee running so no major hikes for me, but I did go for a nice jaunt through the woods this morning. So green!

Roll Call 199

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Default May 24, 2023 at 12:27 PM
  #864
There was a BBQ today. It started pouring 20 minutes after it started though lol

They had burgers, hot dogs, chicken, ribs, potato salad, macaroni salad, watermelon, chips and sodas and beans

I got a burger, hot dog, potato salad, and beans , chips and a soda

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Default May 24, 2023 at 12:28 PM
  #865
Roll Call 199
In the office so I got a salad at the cafeteria.

Not much else happening. I’m bored.

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Default May 24, 2023 at 01:22 PM
  #866
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Originally Posted by MuddyBoots View Post
I hurt my knee running so no major hikes for me, but I did go for a nice jaunt through the woods this morning. So green!

Roll Call 199

So pretty sorry you got hurt though.

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Default May 24, 2023 at 01:23 PM
  #867
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Roll Call 199
In the office so I got a salad at the cafeteria.

Not much else happening. I’m bored.

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Looks good Roll Call 199

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Default May 24, 2023 at 06:52 PM
  #868
Dissociating really badly tonight

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Default May 24, 2023 at 06:57 PM
  #869
I just put in some scented wax cubes in my wax warmer. It’s like blueberry scented. Hoping that helps calm me down a bit and ground me. Im floating above right now and I hate it so much. Aside from that I might play a game on my phone. I’ve been playing Cozy Grove. It’s a lot of fun. I have it on my Nintendo switch too but I really am having fun playing games on my phone now since it has a much better screen than my old phone. Anyway it’s a relaxing game and I recommend it

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Default May 24, 2023 at 07:01 PM
  #870
I learned how to play Happy birthday on ukulele with chords. I already knew how to play it with single notes but I wanted to learn the chord version. I’m enjoying learning and hopefully getting better. Trying to keep at it every day.

I downloaded a focus app. It uses the pomodoro technique for improving focus so I’ve been using that to stay focused with things like reading books and ukulele practice

There’s something about learning and making music that makes me really feel good. It’s an amazing feeling when you work at something then eventually at some point realize you’re getting better at changing chords, etc or any type of musical endeavor

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Default May 25, 2023 at 06:58 AM
  #871
So, it's been an interesting morning. Woke up at 1:30am (went to bed at 9). Went back and forth between working out and screwing around on the internet until 7 when my mom left for work, then I got high (MJ), then I took my valium, then I drank a beer, and now here I am feeling great that I don't feel myself. And it's not even 8am. I also made vegan sloppy joes. I didn't eat at all yesterday and I'm going to try not to binge today.

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Default May 25, 2023 at 07:27 AM
  #872
I had a gluten free bagel with red pepper garlic cream cheese, and I have vegan coconut raspberry yogurt with coconut nut granola mix, flax seed, and blackberries for breakfast.

It looked so pretty.

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Default May 25, 2023 at 10:13 AM
  #873
Have an appointment with my therapist later today. Went to the food pantry earlier. Got 2 big cartons of hazelnut liquid coffee creamer, a big jug of orange juice, a case of zero calorie zero sugar sparkling water, cheese sticks, carton of eggs, various bags of nuts (hazelnuts, walnuts, almonds, etc) and some produce, cucumber, squash, possibly zucchini I can’t tell if it’s zucchini or cucumber , a bag of apples, some frozen egg bite things.

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Default May 25, 2023 at 10:16 AM
  #874
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So, it's been an interesting morning. Woke up at 1:30am (went to bed at 9). Went back and forth between working out and screwing around on the internet until 7 when my mom left for work, then I got high (MJ), then I took my valium, then I drank a beer, and now here I am feeling great that I don't feel myself. And it's not even 8am. I also made vegan sloppy joes. I didn't eat at all yesterday and I'm going to try not to binge today.

Have you ever tried any of those apps that tracks things? Like the I am Sober app. It has various tracking categories, several of them are for different types of eating disorders etc I use it to track how long I go without my ED behaviors. It motivates me a lot. It also has trackers for pretty much anything you can imagine, internet use, caffeine , anything you’re trying to quit/stop. Just thought I’d mention it since it helps me

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Default May 25, 2023 at 10:21 AM
  #875
Here’s an example of what the tracker looks like from my account. Right now I’m tracking how long I go without binge eating. It’s complicated because I also don’t want to fall back into restricting
Attached Images
File Type: jpg IMG_0064.jpg (83.9 KB, 11 views)

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Default May 25, 2023 at 11:18 AM
  #876
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Have you ever tried any of those apps that tracks things? Like the I am Sober app. It has various tracking categories, several of them are for different types of eating disorders etc I use it to track how long I go without my ED behaviors. It motivates me a lot. It also has trackers for pretty much anything you can imagine, internet use, caffeine , anything you’re trying to quit/stop. Just thought I’d mention it since it helps me

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Yeah, I use a different but similar app to track a few things. I don't think it helps much.

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Default May 25, 2023 at 11:33 AM
  #877
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Yeah, I use a different but similar app to track a few things. I don't think it helps much.

Oh okay I’m sorry to hear that

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Default May 25, 2023 at 11:35 AM
  #878
My program manager said he’ll get back to me next Wednesday about the peer specialist thing. I probably have to be certified first in order to become one.

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Default May 25, 2023 at 01:09 PM
  #879
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My program manager said he’ll get back to me next Wednesday about the peer specialist thing. I probably have to be certified first in order to become one.

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I know Newtus did this and I believe she was working while working on certification but it’s been some time so I’m not sure. You may want to ask her.

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Default May 25, 2023 at 02:34 PM
  #880
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I know Newtus did this and I believe she was working while working on certification but it’s been some time so I’m not sure. You may want to ask her.

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Thanks I just talked to her a bit on Facebook. Said training usually takes around 2-3 months

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