Roll Call 199

Anyone every play any of those horror games Five Nights at Freddy’s? I was playing the first one in the middle of the night last night on my phone with Bluetooth earphones on and the jump-scare in it scared the hell out of me. lol i typically don’t play horror games because they are very immersive so can be scary at times but it’s also fun in a way

Anyway, I’m excited to get my new yugioh decks and learn how they work, learn different combos and techniques for when I play with them against my bf

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My boyfriend got me ukulele strings for my tenor and soprano ukuleles, violin strings, rosin for the violin , a bow, and some card sleeves for my trading cards for my birthday. Those are some really thoughtful gifts, especially since I needed new ukulele strings. And I can get back into violin. I have a really cheap beginners violin someone gave me. So he got me strings and a bow and rosin for it and I’m gonna start playing it again. I will need to get myself a mute for it at some point though because it will be too loud to play without one in my apartment. I played violin growing up in orchestra, I loved it a lot. I wish I didn’t give it up when I did. Anyway, yeah now I have a functional keyboard, my two ukuleles and a violin. So lots to do in terms of music

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I’m not a dietician but I would say you need to eat a bit more. Especially focus on things like complex carbs and protein. Maybe try adding something like a meat sauce or meatballs with your pasta and sauce. And having some veggies or potatoes with chicken nuggets. Try having some nuts or even a side of eggs with your oatmeal. Like if you’re having salad add chicken.

And snacks, yea. Like cheese and nuts or fruit and nuts. Granola bars. Protein bars. Veggies and hummus or ranch or tzatziki. Fruit and cottage cheese or something.

My dietician talks a lot about adding fiber too so like flax seeds with yogurt. Flax seeds in smoothies. Maybe a protein powder in smoothies. She also suggests for snacks have a balance of protein and carbs. Like I suggested above.

Protein will keep you fuller longer. Simple carbs like sugar or pasta go through your body pretty quick and leave you hungry pretty quickly.

I know with a limited budget it’s hard but I’d suggest to at least try to get more protein. And larger sizes of fruit and veg or complex carbs.

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Thank you I appreciate the tips, I will work on doing all that I did used to make protein smoothies with fruit, almond milk, and protein powder and that always helped keep me full between meals for example. Those are all good ideas, I’m going grocery shopping on Monday so I’ll add some of that stuff to my list

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Okay so I just did a grocery order, I got almond milk, chia seeds, flax seeds, protein bars, and protein powder. I have plenty of nuts like pecans, walnuts, and hazelnuts, at home , have raisins , I have lots of meat in the freezer, ton of string cheese sticks already, i have a big canister of oatmeal, I have various pastas and pasta sauces, eggs, soups, macaroni and cheese, rice etc I will go to the grocery store in person on Monday to get fresh fruits and vegetables.

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Oh and I’ll get big containers of Greek yogurt and cottage cheese.

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All sounds really good! Really balanced too!

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It could be anxiety. When I was a teenager, one of the people at my work told me she was so afraid of another work place when she was there she used to throw up every morning. Maybe you're feeling increased anxiety because you've been thinking about working.

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It’s possible. I’ve never thrown up from anxiety before but who knows, normally when I’m anxious I just dissociate , it definitely feels like it’s related to food though because it only happens when I’m not eating every 3 hours, and the shakiness etc feels more like low blood sugar than anxiety, I don’t know what it is to be honest. Almost immediately after eating I feel better

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Speaking of working it turns out all those peer support specialist positions you have to have a drivers license to qualify for the job. I don’t even have a permit. So that sucks. I’ll keep looking and hopefully find something. I just need someone to give me a chance. I think I’d be a good employee. I am doing well with volunteering. But my anxiety has been so out of control lately. I dissociate so frequently now it doesn’t take much stress to set it off. The worst feeling is when it happens when I’m walking down the street , it’s scary.

My program manager said he could help me with getting the process started to get a permit and a license. I want to, I’m just scared of dissociating while driving and causing an accident or something. I think I’m just gonna have to stuck by relying on walking and buses for transportation. That would be too dangerous for me and for everyone else on the road.

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I think I need to work on what’s it called, exposure therapy or something like that. To like stress and social situations.

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Yes, it really does seem much more food related. Lately I've been getting the shakes after vaping a bit, and I guess it's a new side effect for me. I've been trying not to overdose on nicotine but I don't know what else it could be. I used to smoke very heavily but I don't remember getting the shakes from it.

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That’s scary, I don’t smoke but when I was a teenager I smoked a bunch of cigarettes really fast one time and got extremely shaky nauseous and threw up. Is the nicotine dosage higher than normal for you? I don’t really know anything about vaping, I hope it goes away though

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No, in fact I'm vaping much less now, usually only once a day. Getting shakes, nausea and vomiting sounds like a nicotine overdose beyond what I'm getting from vaping. I could totally see that happening to someone binging on cigarettes. I've been wanting to vape a certain liquid I have but it's a higher nicotine dose so I've been avoiding it. So far the worst side effect I'm getting is agitation from vaping. It's like RLS in my whole body. I used to get this from smoking too.

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Soz! (As Newtus would say), I'm heavily disorganized. I'll be back though. I gotta organize the mind/life.

I think just the least things I have to do, just sitting there.. thinking.., I'm like "Ok - There's nothing more to do online, now I'll attend to the ..

had to kill an ant. They are here...

, goals..). Like Jordan Peterson would say (With the question of "How are you doing?") - "Terrific, and terrible *cries*".

I'm gonna work 4 days now instead of 3 (For 3 months). It'll be a challenge. But I'm sure I can do it. Gotta be grateful, for my bed.. to sleep, antipsychotically, and every good thing. I chatted with some people on the lawn, socialized...

Autist friend it helping me with free books, and academic pdfs from the dark web etc.. I'm building something.. Just following the light (That people can think is darkness - But they are wrong..). I can save everyone, just cuz it's the hardest - But most natural, better path.. Either that, or I alcohol myself to death in a tent city. It's not my choice, but a calling by heavenly forces. If it's hell, then w/e.. I've been through enough of it already.

I still don't pick sides of things anyways. I have no opinions. I just am, right now - And I try to be okay with that. I have billions of years to sort things out, weaved through the faster time-space dimensions within this life, once they are mirrored with the now, us.. Maybe God.

God made me a junky, but the devil told me so.. (No jk lol).

I hope you'll make a chunk more of money with adding another work day. Good luck with it. I'm glad you're spending time with your friend, too.

What I said about you adding meds is a projection of my own. At home I used to take tizanidine, Ativan, whatever I had on hand. I probably would have gotten addicted to benzos again. So in my case I wanted to get high just out of boredom, and I don't know what else. My friend just got prescribed a muscle relaxant and I'm hoping he'll give me a few. It's not tizanidine. And I don't think it's skelaxin or however it's spelled.

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I forgot to say it's good to see you. I'm not sure what you mean when you said you're saving people. Hugs.

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I can't believe it's almost 2am. I should be sleeping since before midnight.

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My one roommate is talkative tonight and can't sleep. I hope they'll give her a Trazodone.

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I know (About the saving people) - No worries.. I'm just stressed about the apocalyptic stuff.. I should learn to relax etc, be with family, all that..

I'll go to sleep 12am, tomorrow will be a good day (I know it will : )

Edit: You guys are basically my family too (And to the new person, it's all good - If you think I'm evil, that's okay - I still love you. Feel free to post still cuz it's not like I'm the boss here or anything - I am just insignificant star dust..)