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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,589
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#1
I've been through this and was wondering if there are others out there who were diagnosed with mental illness solely on the side effects of psychotropic medications. How were you able to recover and get your credibility back? How were you able to regain trust in medicine?
I suspect what I experienced is very common due to the way medicine is structured and practiced. This error has the potential of being harmful and even deadly when combined with human factors such as cognitive bias. -- My records prove this. __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder Last edited by The_little_didgee; Apr 15, 2023 at 04:16 PM.. |
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,024
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#2
I was born with PDD-NOS, ADD. The ADD was suppressed, turned into OCD. The autism was suppressed, turned into Avoidant PD.
I was being abused by my ex step dad and normal trauma that happened as a kid (For being too sensitive). The only thing I complained about was "severe agitation and depression". I was given a bottle of 120x 0.5mg clonazepam, and my mom kept it in the closet for 2 years. I went to the ER (After my ex step dad attacked me and I attempted suicide), they asked "Are you hearing voices" (And I was.. I was so confused, I didn't even notice). So I was put on Prozac and risperidone - Stopped the risperidone (Obviously - Who wouldn't?), then I was severely neglected (+ The self isolation from AvPD), put on 5mg of Abilify, was knocking myself out with hoarded risperidone. I was then put on Concerta. I then swallowed 92 of the clonazepams, went to school the next day.. My mom drove me in the snow to the ER - I swallowed the bottle of Concerta, my mom threatened to sue the hospital, and I was psychotic AF (Maybe from clonazepam rebound), I was sent to the psych ward in an ambulance. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia (When I thought I just had OCD), was put on the Abilify injection. My roommates were doing lines of hydromorphone on the bedside table and I was curious and said "Can I have a line" - They then brought in cocaine and used all of my money to give me crack (From the taxi drivers), they got in trouble/kicked out and I stayed for a while. I was put on 60mg of Vyvanse (Cuz it's better for the heart than Concerta), then got sent back into society. When I got out, I was taken off the Vyvanse CT, was in bed for 10 days - My mom stood on a chair, turn on the lights and said "Wake TF up!", I was put back on Concerta. I then became severely impulsive, self destructive, reckless and started chugging bottles of liquor and such - My mom told the liquor store to stop serving me. I then started spending all of my money on research chemicals (Mostly bath salts), was still severely neglected. Didn't eat, overdosing, vomiting, dancing, crying, taking selfies, laughing, having camera sex etc - All alone. I then tripped on 4-AcO-DMT (While in the back of my ex step dads truck while he was driving), got sent to the psych ward (Again), went to rehab (And while there, got sexually harassed by an old man in a really super weird way), felt threatened, weirded out and took the 4-AcO-DMT again when I got out (An overdose), and that changed my life.. My ex step dad won the lottery a few months later and left us stranded in the middle of no where the next day.. Used us for citizenship. I then went back to the psych ward (Voluntarily) for independent living.. I was taken off the Abilify (Cuz I was on too much), got put on Invega injection + olanzepine.. I felt better, more cautious, careful, mindful.. But I couldn't make goals - I had no idea what life was. I was put on Vyvanse again (But my heart was beating 110bpm - So had to stop). I started having dissociative panic attacks that would last for hours (I didn't realize that it was DPDR from tripping until years later), started buying dark web drugs, got my bank account shared with my mom (She took all of my money) and during 2018, I was drug free.. I moved to a tourist resort, got better, listened to podcasts.. improved greatly.. Started having deep philosophical, motivating thoughts.. From the stimulant abuse, I developed tachycardia (Or it could just be physical anxiety) - I was taken off of the stimulant for about a year, got put on atenolol, and then tried stimulant medication again (My heart rate and blood pressure has been fine), I grew mentally, socially (Friends/family connection), physically (Exercise), spiritually, etc.. And will try to achieve the best life.. Vacations, working part time, learning, relaxing... I still struggle greatly.. I search about corruption news... People rarely give me credit for how far I've come, but I blame myself (But not 100%) - My ex step dad was an evil *. The fight (When I was 16) started cuz I said "My dad pays for the food" - My real dad? He visits often, and lifted me up always, like a shaman. "Look at how far you've come, you were ****ed up! I would have been too. You're normal, nothing wrong with you. You're not crazy. I am". I microdose psychedelics, very conservative with doses etc.. My frontal lobe took a while to develop, but it developed fine.. ![]() The Drug That Makes You Spend All Your Money — OK Whatever |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,589
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#3
Thanks for sharing your story. You have been through a lot. I'm glad that man is not doing those things anymore.
Do you agree with the schizophrenia diagnosis? For someone with that disorder you have good insight. Has anyone ever told you that people with autistic disorders are vulnerable to psychosis? Your post is an example of iatrogenic harm. __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,589
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#4
Reading my records has made me realize medicine is not a profession that practices much critical thought. The pandemic policies also indicate this. One would think that highly educated people would have the ability to think critically and check their biases. Apparently not.
How could psychiatry miss delirium? There was ample and convincing evidence to support the diagnosis. Abnormal ECGs and labs, dehydration, confusion, irritability, tremor, low blood pressure, hallucinations and dilated pupils were not enough to convince them that my "manipulative behavior" was due to all the prescriptions I was on. The emergency doctors saw it but psychiatry refused to believe it. They instead decided I was trying to manipulate them into an admission because of apparent "personality disorder" after talking to another psychiatrist at the General hospital. - I wasn't seeking admission. I was genuine sick from all the pills I was on. They over prescribed and failed to notice because of cognitive bias. They had me on so much medication, almost all of which had anticholinergic effects. It took months to recover and only after most of the offending medications were discontinued. While I was on those pills I heard voices, something I never experienced before. It was like being in perpetual stage 1 sleep. I got diagnosed with so many BS disorders. The most surprising one was dissociation. They decided I had a history of abuse based on my periods of memory loss due to benzodiazepines and backed it up with my Indigenous heritage and the fact that I grew up in a remote First Nations community. --- Pure Incompetence. My experience makes me wonder if people (including teenagers) are experiencing sub-clinical delirium on psychiatric medication. Could the reporting of side effects such as hallucinations cause a careless psychiatrist to diagnose a person with mental illness? I suspect this happens a lot. My thread should have been called Psych medication induced delirium. __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder |
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,024
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#5
Quote:
I was .. crazy.. There was no stopping me. But all is good now.. But "negative symptoms" can also be symptoms of autism.. When I first came into the ER, the psych nurse/psychologist was talking with my mom about "Autism with psychosis" (And they were talking about the autism, symptoms from when I was a baby..) - And I think that it's still true to this day... I did pretend that I didn't have autism (But it was obvious to everyone) - So I missed out on learning coping mechanisms/techniques/rehabilitation for the disorder.. And was left in the dark for so long.. My mind deteriorated severely (Through isolation), and then I tripped... Built myself back up again (Since 7 years ago). Autism usually means (With OCD/ADHD + AvPD)... I have a friend with this.. And she's a complete genius.. Has autism much worse than me.. But it can be some type of gift (At least for her). For me, it's like "almost autism" - And I have so much insight.. and yknow.. The main thing people have been telling me with the "schizophrenia" diagnosis, is that I have "so much insight". I was put on the antipsychotic.. Cuz of "Early onset schizophrenia" (To prevent it from becoming worse) - But the Abilify made me completely nuts.. Sooooo impulsive. But I was also young too.. Things have gotten so much better.. I don't regret much (Except the stimulant abuse) - I'm pretty normal (Especially compared to the kids growing up now..), a lot of.. hormones and chemicals in the tap water and what we eat.. Estrogen (Possibly from milk) "Drink the milk - It's good for you (Since the 1950's or w/e)", it caused her breast cancer.. and my brother (Gay) + me (LGBT). My brother seems to have some type of autism or schizoid. My sister is fine, spiritual, smart etc... We're all smart.. Not stupid... (Although I did act really stupid.. impulsive, back then..). And like the Universe 25, experiment (Repeated 25 times, same effect) of society.. it decays.. But there needs to be a full variety of genes/variants in DNA - To give humanity the best possible chances of surviving.. Elon Musk, yeah.. go to the stars, populate other planets.. But instead of shooting metal rockets into the sky, how about look within?? Be more receptive.. Let it come to you.. Such as smoking DMT, meeting alien entities.. Respect nature maybe. And what I know now (Especially with deep philosophical DPDR thoughts/panic attacks?), the meaning of life is nothing.. but to associate it with your own meaning, or collective, for humanity - The spirits.. Life is a huge soup of everything - And it burns into your eyes like film in the dark.. For every experience.. Everything exists, everywhere, all at once = Nothing. God? Love I'd say.. and nothing. Like what you can find on a salvia or 5-MeO-DMT (Toad venom) trip. And salvia.. Like psychosis.. Dynorphin (The opposite of endorphin/feel good pain killer chemical..), the more you smoke - The less you need.. And with psychiatry? It seems like pseudoscience. It works as long as you don't think too deeply or use any critical thinking.. People suffer immensely, and there's labels.. all that with venn diagram, overlaps with each other. I'd hope to get off the Invega injection eventually - Although it's doing no harm.. and prevents agitated psychosis (Pretty much), but also is antagonizing my serotonin receptors, so I dose a little agonists to balance it out. I think the cure to schizophrenia is antipsychotics + psychedelics. Dextroamphetamine seems to make my "psychosis" even better.. And I'm still not 100% sure what psychosis is.. Everyone has schizophrenia (If you really think about it - In a dissociative sense..) - People with schizophrenia say "I'm God" - But really, that's just an undeveloped thought.. How about "God has schizophrenia?" - Cuz all of his creations would be hallucinations right? .. Just like how everything is divine, infinite, connected and weaved through each other in the soul factory, pin points as "experiences". In near death experiences, people report feeling emotions that resemble the experience of their whole life all at once.. And you can travel to the astral realm through some ways - People have access to it.. Dissociative memories/imagination, like.. Sometimes when I look in the mirror? I make a sign, "This will show up in my ex gfs dream during this lifetime - Or somewhere in the afterlife etc".. I'd hate to be one of those people that push others to be "Crazy" - Like the meth woman I met in the psych ward, she said "We will meet again" (So many people there said that to me..), "You seem too smart.. Smoke meth! It's okay to be stupid!".. And 46mg of clonazepam, I'm sure it gave me delirium.. There was 10 people in my room (That weren't there), and the rebound? Heightened stimulating neurotransmitters.. I knew that psychiatrist don't know what they're doing, and they tried to control me.. I just wanted what ever med to help me.. But allll spread out, into some experience.. I've learned much.. I feel bad for people in certain tormented states, but they can be helped - Through meditation, time, being hit by a car, etc... Who the hell knows how to figure it out. And free will? You can say that "The world could change if everyone wanted to" - But also limited to "This is how it is right now" - We can predict the future.. But it's not accurate, unless some transforming geometric objective form (Maybe divine, close..) guides us - Starting by throwing an apple in some volcano, given the gift of all the shamans, and what they've done.. And quantum computing, artificial intelligence... All I think from now is "panpsychism", "panentheism"... Everything has consciousness.. From salvia, you can experience how it is to become a cup of coffee.. Tree and forest thing? That's me.. Science will make the last discovery, staring at me (God - But also you, everyone + itself), just a mirror.. Matter is a mirror that reflects light.. If you'd like, I'll find a video later (I thought it was funny, obviously made by someone with schizophrenia - But can show how ridiculous psychiatry can be). I'll be back.. I have to assemble a table for my mom.. |
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
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#6
I had psychosis before any medication or doing any drugs, but while I was in the hospital they raised one of my medications to the maximum dose (Risperidone), and I had an unusual reaction of delirium. I kept thinking I was in different places: thought I was lost in the woods in Maine, on a boat, in a hospital with wayyyy more hallways than the one I was in (and was lost), thought I accidentally broke into an apartment in Lowell, MA and was going to get shot. I thought it was raining cocaine. I thought they kept switching the rooms around to confuse me. At one point, I felt so lost that I just stood in one place in the hallway for like an hour crying and anytime anyone asked me what was wrong I would just say "I'm lost."
I was told this was such an unusual reaction they had to report it to the FDA. __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,589
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#7
Quote:
You have good providers. It is evident in their ability to notice the adverse reaction and report it. Delirium is very different from psychosis in my experience. The three different experiences I had with it differed greatly than the psychosis I experienced 5 years later. The visual hallucinations were very detailed along with the auditory variety. I also had physical symptoms such as dilated pupils, tremor, confusion, and irregular labs mostly anion gap, electrolytes, Urea, AST and ALT. I remember being unable to get off the floor and panicking, because I thought someone was breaking into my apartment. I was able to "see" the midget. This was very different from psychosis. Hallucinations are common. Even people without mental illness experience them. I often wonder how many people get diagnosed with major psychiatric disorders for having hallucinations without delusions and thought disorder. I wonder how much of this over-diagnosing is related to prescription medications and our expectations as patients for the provider to write a script. Could a person be experiencing a mild delirium caused by one of their medications? __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder |
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
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#8
Yes, my provider in the hospital was amazing. Unfortunately, she left the hospital and was replaced by someone less concerned about side effects.
The delirium and the psychosis actually had a very similar feel to them in that I always felt confused and lost, just with different specifics. When I experienced the delirium, I also had hallucinations. I don't know if that was from the delirium itself or the psychosis that led to me being in the hospital in the first place. I don't know about in Ontario land, but I know in the grand Ol' US of A every other ad on TV is for a medication, many of them for psych meds and many of the others having potential psychiatric side effects. I suspect this is one of the major factors that leads to that expectation for the patient for the provider to write a script for whatever especially here (I know that's not the case everywhere). __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,589
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#9
It seems like most psychiatrists don't care. At least the ones I have met. The ones who work the emergency department are the worst and most bitter.
Here is Canada drug ads are subjected to a lot of rules. The ads (mostly Viagra) I have seen are nothing like the US kind. I've been to the US and have noticed the copious amount of ads on local television. -- I think patients expect a script. Prescribing a pill is easy and a quick fix. Medicine is structured this way and its turning us into lifelong patients. I've noticed psychiatry can promote dependence and start a cycle of admissions and prescriptions especially in vulnerable people (who tend to have a background in trauma). They end up being psychopathologized and medicated when it isn't warranted. __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder |
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,024
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#10
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,589
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#11
I had my records reviewed by a psychiatrist. Later this week a pharmacist is going to review them to see if she can determine what medications caused my illness.
The psychiatrist gave me a summary of her impression that made a lot of sense. We talked for over an hour today. When I told my mother she wasn't surprised. She always believed what made me ill in spring 1996 was the prescription medications. The psychiatrist noticed anticholinergic side effects and was surprised that they were overlooked by her specialty. There was a cognitive test (The mini mental state exam) in the records that I scored 17/30 on. She was appalled that this was ignored and explained this was hard to fake. She pointed out the nursing notes along with the ER report that I was displaying an "organic" illness. (This is when I required hospital admission, a 1:1 patient sitter and the discontinuation of all my medications.) Psychiatry refused to believe the ER doctor who diagnosed me with "probably OD" on some unknown substance. Patient appears to have anticholinergic syndrome. There are so many comments about my dilated pupils, drowsiness, tremors and incoherence in my records. How could they miss this? The abnormal ECGs, and labs? Lesson: Misdiagnosis, bias and polypharmacy are a very bad mix. If the diagnosis doesn't make sense, question it!!!! It was vindicating. It took 27 years to find out the truth. __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder |
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Junior Member
Member Since May 2023
Location: lacey wa
Posts: 14
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#12
I have personally seen this happen with my son. He was put on medication and instantly his psychosis started and it was so scary. I never seen someone become like a demon or a person that was possessed. Like, i would not be surprised if it could kill someone.
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Member
Member Since Dec 2022
Location: Canada
Posts: 132
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#13
I am starting to question my mental health issues. I think I developed mental health issues due to trauma. i never was given a psych med until I was in my 20's. I never started taking them consistently until I was in my 30's. I struggled with severe anxiety on and off most of my life. I have had brief psychotic episodes due to stress; but nothing that ever fit a diagnosis like schizophrenia or bipolar. I was told I must be on drugs to act like I had. I don't actually have a drug or alcohol problem. Then they said I was bipolar II but that made no sense. It was like the doctor just made up something to diagnose me with.
I did get relabelled with bipolar, but it was often relayed to me as a "muddy" diagnosis, and not actually clear that I had it. This led to a lot of confusion by my family doctors and other doctors who happened upon my records. I did develop sleep issues which were thought to be a symptom of bipolar. It turns out it really was just insomnia, and sleep issues developing possibly due to a thyroid problem. I suffer from grade A insomnia sometimes. Seroquel gave me sleep, but going off Seroquel took away my sleep. I was told I was not bipolar and given mirtazipine for sleep which sort of helps. Now that I had been diagnosed with Graves Disease, i am wanting to come off some of the medication, and try to get my body into it's own homeostasis. I wonder how much my thyroid dysfunction as played an actual role in my mental health issues recently. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Location: Chicago
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#14
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,589
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#15
I have been wondering about marginal vitamin B12 deficiency as a cause of psychosis. About a year after I got sick, I had abnormalities with my RBCs, but the doctor shrugged it off because my hemoglobin was within normal range. My ferritin was low at 7. It sounds like a possible explanation and why I recovered. The year before I got ill, I was depressed and could barely function. Eating wasn't a priority. I never sought help, because I had no doctor at that time.
I asked my psychiatrist about medication causing psychotic symptoms. She stated they can cause delirium. This makes me wonder about the differences between the two. __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder |
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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
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#16
You might be interested in reading this
I know from experience SSRIs and stimulants can cause psychotic symptoms. __________________ [Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,589
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#17
I think (based solely on my experience and hospital records) the side effects of certain medications particularly the anticholinergic variety can easily be mistaken for mental illness.
Hallucinations are common in the population. One doesn't need to be mentally ill to experience them. I wonder if our need to report everything to a psychiatrist is contributing to people getting misdiagnosed with major illnesses. __________________ Dx: Didgee Disorder |
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