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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 01:52 PM
  #21
The protein bars and all that’s stuff are here (not pictured are the flax seeds, chia seeds, and almond milk)
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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 03:54 PM
  #22
I made some homemade chia seed pudding. So it’s half a cup of almond milk, 2 tablespoons of chia seeds and a little honey then store in fridge overnight and serve with fruit in the morning. I didn’t have one of those little mason jars to make it in so I used a protein blender bottle to store it in, it should be fine. I’ll just scoop it out tomorrow when it’s ready to be eaten. I’ve never had anything with chia seeds before but I’ve always wanted to try chia seed pudding

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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 03:55 PM
  #23
I’m trying to eat better

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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 04:30 PM
  #24
I had my endoscopy today. It wasn't too bad. They didn't find anything other than some inflammation, but they took some biopsies and should have the results in five days or so. I know this sounds weird, but I'm kinda disappointed. I wanted something to say "see, I'm sick!" because I feel like my treatment team doesn't care since I'm not doing any actual damage.

They completely fking abandoned me is what they did. Case manager out for at least a month, peer support person gone AWOL, therapist keeps canceling, pdoc on vacation until the end of the month. I'm sick of everyone that I start to like--that starts to help, that starts to make things a little better--leaving me. I thought that was just regular people but apparently that happens when they get paid to listen to you too. I'm about to go down a very bad thought path so I'm gonna end it here and go.

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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 04:31 PM
  #25
Happy thoughts

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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 05:07 PM
  #26
Sorry Boots I hope you get some answers from the test results that picture is beautiful

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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 09:29 PM
  #27
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Originally Posted by MuddyBoots View Post
I had my endoscopy today. It wasn't too bad. They didn't find anything other than some inflammation, but they took some biopsies and should have the results in five days or so. I know this sounds weird, but I'm kinda disappointed. I wanted something to say "see, I'm sick!" because I feel like my treatment team doesn't care since I'm not doing any actual damage.

They completely fking abandoned me is what they did. Case manager out for at least a month, peer support person gone AWOL, therapist keeps canceling, pdoc on vacation until the end of the month. I'm sick of everyone that I start to like--that starts to help, that starts to make things a little better--leaving me. I thought that was just regular people but apparently that happens when they get paid to listen to you too. I'm about to go down a very bad thought path so I'm gonna end it here and go.

Hugs boots Roll Call 200

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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 10:22 PM
  #28
I feel really nauseous and on the verge of throwing up, not really sure why. I ate so it's not like from not eating enough, I'm laying here with a bucket beside my bed in case I suddenly have to throw up and can't make it to the bathroom on time

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Default Jun 05, 2023 at 10:26 PM
  #29
I might have to call in and cancel my volunteer shift tomorrow and see if they can get someone to cover, I feel horrible and it's 11pm and I can't sleep

I'm really sick of feeling lik crap physically. I really hope the blood work I got done today provides some insight into this ****

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Default Jun 06, 2023 at 03:58 AM
  #30
"I need to go into the life tunnel. And there? I'll recharge.. Be ready.. For the magnificent colours. I am an insane kamikaze pigeon."

That is what I wrote before ket.

Then I got immersed into internet nonsense - Wasted like 3 hours. I better go to bed.. I hope I only need 9-10 hours of sleep.
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Default Jun 06, 2023 at 07:12 AM
  #31
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...
They completely fking abandoned me is what they did. Case manager out for at least a month, peer support person gone AWOL, therapist keeps canceling, pdoc on vacation until the end of the month. I'm sick of everyone that I start to like--that starts to help, that starts to make things a little better--leaving me. I thought that was just regular people but apparently that happens when they get paid to listen to you too. I'm about to go down a very bad thought path so I'm gonna end it here and go.
Oh, and I was supposed to have a "co-occuring/dual diagnosis" specialist but I saw her like three times since Feb. 2022 and she quit without telling anybody.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful I have this team, but I just wis they were a little more consistent.

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Default Jun 06, 2023 at 08:14 AM
  #32
I called in and cancelled todays shift. They said that was okay because there are only 3 cats there today so they can just have petsmart employee check on them instead. Anyway, I’ll be back to it next week. I just was up the entire night with severe nausea and have only slept 1 hour in over 24 hours

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Default Jun 06, 2023 at 08:20 AM
  #33
I’m gonna miss Onyx and ruby this week. (If they’re still there) I hope they got adopted together though (they’re sisters). They’re so adorable and ridiculously sweet. I have really enjoyed seeing them over the past couple weeks. I don’t know if they’ll be there next week or not. Hopefully they got adopted

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Default Jun 06, 2023 at 09:10 AM
  #34
The chia seed pudding came out well. Pretty cool and super easy to make and healthy.

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Default Jun 06, 2023 at 09:20 AM
  #35
I’m making velveeta and shells (macaroni and cheese) later and I’m ridiculously excited about it. I’ve been craving Mac and cheese for a couple weeks. I know it’s not the healthiest but it’s so good, the warm cheese

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Default Jun 06, 2023 at 09:23 AM
  #36
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I’m making velveeta and shells (macaroni and cheese) later and I’m ridiculously excited about it. I’ve been craving Mac and cheese for a couple weeks. I know it’s not the healthiest but it’s so good, the warm cheese

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Hey, life is all about balance.

I know that if you’re craving something you should just have it, even if it’s just a little bit. Otherwise you’ll probably end up binging later.

No matter how many carrots you eat it’s not going to fix if you’re craving chocolate, you know.

Enjoy your mac and cheese!

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Default Jun 06, 2023 at 12:45 PM
  #37
I’m so proud of myself. I successfully restrung my soprano ukulele without snapping any strings when I tried restringing my tenor ukulele yesterday I snapped all the strings because I really didn’t know what I was doing. I found some videos that explain how to do it better and explain how not to tune to high and snap strings.

So my soprano has a nice new set of strings on it and I know how to do it now. I have a replacement set of tenor strings coming today so I’m gonna do my tenor the way it should have been done in the first places. I’m so excited. I honestly thought I was gonna have to take them in to a professional to have them restrung because it felt too difficult and I kept messing up
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Default Jun 06, 2023 at 12:45 PM
  #38
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Hey, life is all about balance.

I know that if you’re craving something you should just have it, even if it’s just a little bit. Otherwise you’ll probably end up binging later.

No matter how many carrots you eat it’s not going to fix if you’re craving chocolate, you know.

Enjoy your mac and cheese!

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Thanks! Yeah when I cut stuff out completely it usually backfired into a binge at some point

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Default Jun 06, 2023 at 03:43 PM
  #39
And I got new strings on my tenor now too

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Default Jun 06, 2023 at 04:17 PM
  #40
Saw my doctor just a little while ago. Told him I’ve been doing good. Going out and doing things, going to the gym a lot, and not drinking. He even checked my blood pressure and it was better (it was like 120/86 but now it’s like 110/76 - my normal when I was more in shape was 109/65 so it’s getting there).

He said it’s all good what I’m doing. Keep on doing it. He checked to make sure I wasn’t hypomanic from the escitalopram increase we did last month but we good. Still sleeping well, etc.

He mentioned that I should think about securing myself in a good place especially when winter comes. I get pretty down in the winter being cooped up all the time.

So now I’m at the gym. Arm day!

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