Roll Call 200

That’s awesome! I’m so happy for you about the DBT group and the animal shelter!

I probably need to get in a DBT group as well but I don’t know where I would find one

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Went to the gym this morning. I did shoulder workout yesterday, did leg day today. My schedule was ab and cardio but my heart said leg day.

Went to the supplement store and bought some amino acids to take after my workouts (they’re good to help prevent fatigue and soreness and rebuild muscles). Spent too much money lmao.

Got two gyms to check out soon. Depends on when my sister is feeling up to it.

The one gym has like powerlifting, Olympic weightlifting, and strongman stuff but it’s a little further away.

So like… I’m just thinking if I find a closer gym that has a squat rack I could always go there for like a year to build myself up and then go to another gym. Just depends. We’ll see.

Yeah, that’s my biggest dilemma right now.

Anyway, it’s almost lunch time. Might have a salad. Or might have a sandwich. No leftovers in the fridge.

Don’t even know what to have for dinner tonight. Gotta make a schedule for this week.

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Update: had a salad with a bunch of chicken for lunch. Going to have jalapeño smokies for dinner.

Need to make the food schedule for this week.

Going to go to like Home Depot and stuff with my mom to check out closet doors. The closet by the front door the door sucks and it’s annoying us.

Oh, I’m trying to up my protein and good food. Fiber and stuff. Following a lot of what the dietician was talking about.

So like for breakfast have things like:

- bagel and cream cheese
- yogurt with flax and granola and fruit
- eggs on toast
- chia pudding

Lunch:

- salad with chicken, tomatoes, cucumber, and honey mustard dressing
- sandwich with tomato, lettuce, and sliced turkey/chicken/bacon
- instant noodles (got so many here they’re not the greatest nutrition wise but quick and easy)
- beans on toast (it’s quick and delicious and has lots of fiber)

Dinners I haven’t had problems with. Try for balanced foods.

Snacks:

- veggies and tzatziki/hummus
- granola bar
- assorted fruit
- freeze dried cheese chips
- kale/broccoli chips
- crunchy seasoned lentils/chickpeas/fava beans
- tortilla chips and guacamole

Also throw in like smoothies and protein shakes every so often.

And amino acids after workouts.

I mean I’m going to eat potato chips and stuff occasionally but I’m trying not to eat so much empty fat and carbs.

Just trying to balance healthy but not crazy orthorexia.

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I’m just laying here right now and feel like hibernating. I’m so exhausted. From the physical activity the past three days. Getting up at 5am exactly the past three days, the food changes, its a lot of changes ,its all hitting me now and I feel like laying here and not getting up for 5 hours. I also am craving a sweetened coffee. I don’t typically drink them that way. I 99.9% of the time drink them black and unsweetened. Just sugar sounds really good right now. A coffee with some brown sugar and plain almond milk. I didn’t eat anything sweet as in pastries , candy etc the past 3 days. (That’s the kind of stuff I ate large amounts of everyday) I feel good about that but the cravings are starting to come. Also PMS.

I don’t even want to play a game or watch tv. Just want to lay in silence with my eyes closed for the rest of the day.

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You’re doing a great job Cogladaid

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I'll attend to goals today..

But conspiries seem tempting

I decided I’m getting McDonald’s for dinner. I’m too tired to cook later and I am craving something from there. I only eat fast food maybe once every three months if that so it won’t be the end of the world or ruin my progress I think

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Big Mac , fries and a coke

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Did you get the second Big Mac for a dollar?

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No I didn't know they had that deal, my sister picked up the food for me

Muddy boots I was thinking of you with this pic

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but needs more mud 'n rocks

Did 30 minutes on the treadmill. Will do some weights and squats in a little while after I cool down some.

Inspection went fine

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I’ll work on it next weekend

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Been so tired lately. I'm thinking the Auvelity my doctor put me on is not working. I have been taking it for 6 weeks. I know that it could take 6 to 8 weeks but I'm tired of feeling like crap. I sleep all the time that I am not at work. Messaged my doctor in the portal. We'll see what he says. I am not scheduled to see him for a month.

Dealing with a lot of paranoia , and every time I leave my apartment even if it’s just to check mail or something my anxiety is so severe that I dissociate

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This is a long article, but I found it helpful to read, has a lot of good ideas for coping with some of the issues I deal with

Top 7 Skills For Coping With BPD (+FREE Coping Skills Worksheets)

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I need a group, I’m gonna ask my therapist if there’s any groups at the clinic (they do have some) that would help me, I’m pretty sure there are, things have opened up more there after the first couple years of covid. I really need some socialization and support , and some kind of structure even if it’s just once a week.

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19 hour sleep..

I went on my first "hike" since injuring my knee. It was really more of a rocky walk next to a brook, but it felt good to be walking around more than just my neighborhood.