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#301
Sep 11, 2023, 05:31 PM
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Quote:
 hope you have a good rest of the week  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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#302
Sep 11, 2023, 05:33 PM
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I need to find something to pass the time
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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#303
Sep 11, 2023, 05:39 PM
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Thanks I hope you feel better too Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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 Sometimes psychotic
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#304
Sep 11, 2023, 06:18 PM
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I’ve been feeling bloated and ****** and now I have pelvic pain but I pushed through and made vegan enchiladas with avocado crema.
 Looks funny but it was delicious. I see my family doctor tomorrow. Tell him how I’ve been doing. I’m trying not to worry. I was worrying I had Crohn’s but now I’m worried I have like ovarian cancer. I mean something isn’t right so idk I’m just worried. And I’m worried about money. I feel I’m going to max out my credit cards and be $500 away from being completely without money or credit. I just worry. It keeps me awake at night. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| MuddyBoots, Sometimes psychotic
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#306
Sep 12, 2023, 02:26 AM
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I'm okay now.. Ups and downs..
The forever trip. Forever and ever and ever =] But gotta take a break.. And solve the overwhelmings of infinity - Like the hundred million questions that I've asked ChatGPT.. Christ.. All of the good things that people have said to me, I suppose they are real.. And they will keep me going, throughout the time of my dying, tortured, soul. I'm one of the most sane people out of everyone that is insane. |
| MuddyBoots
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#307
Sep 12, 2023, 09:37 AM
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Saw my regular doctor this morning. Told him all that’s up lately.
He’s sending me for a pelvic ultrasound because he thinks it’s gyno related all my troubles. I have to call my gyno constantly to see if they have any openings otherwise I have to wait until Oct 13 to see her. Which annoys me. I have to suffer for a month not knowing what’s up. Like it could be fibroids, or a cyst, or god forbid cancer. So now I can’t focus on work I’m thinking too much. Oh and I have to see a physiotherapist for my arm pain. Which is fine but annoying. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
 MuddyBoots, Sometimes psychotic
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#308
Sep 12, 2023, 01:42 PM
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Had a good volunteer shift today with the cats. They’re so cute. Practiced violin for 30 minutes. My next lesson is on Sunday. Tomorrow I have a dentist appointment in the morning then a meeting with my program manager. Then on Thursday I work.
My bf and I each got some magic the gathering cards/decks so we’re gonna play that together over video chat this weekend. I’ve never played that one before but I’ve heard good things about it. I bought some Halloween candy because why not. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| Angelique67, cogladaid, MuddyBoots, Sometimes psychotic
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#309
Sep 12, 2023, 01:45 PM
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I resubscribed to Netflix. So I’m excited to see what’s new on there and start catching up on some shows. The Witcher season 3 came out and I still need to watch that. It’s one of my favorite shows
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| Angelique67, cogladaid, MuddyBoots, Sometimes psychotic
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#310
Sep 12, 2023, 02:10 PM
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Acupuncture today, dietician on Saturday, physiotherapist on Monday. Then no appointments until chiropractor next Saturday. Then two tattoo appointments and birthday at the end of month.
So I just have to wait when this pelvic ultrasound comes through. Hopefully they take it as a rush and I got it soon. I’m not looking forward to it but it’s gotta be done. It’s something. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| MuddyBoots
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#311
Sep 12, 2023, 04:01 PM
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Hope you get some answers soon! And awesome about the tattoos!  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| cogladaid
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#312
Sep 12, 2023, 04:02 PM
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I’m so proud of myself. I used my new pan to make hamburger helper. I know that sounds ridiculously stupid but cooking in any form is typically too overwhelming and anxiety inducing that I almost never to it, I really on super quick meals like sandwiches and stuff. So it’s nice that I prepared a meal tonight. I know it’s not technically “cooking” since it’s just hamburger helper but I’m still proud
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| Angelique67, cogladaid, MuddyBoots, Sometimes psychotic
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#313
Sep 12, 2023, 04:11 PM
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I want to learn how to actually cook but it’s kind of intimidating
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| Angelique67, cogladaid, MuddyBoots, Sometimes psychotic
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#314
Sep 12, 2023, 06:15 PM
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Met up with my therapist today. We just walked and talked in town. It was pretty good to actually go out and socialise. Hope you're all well.
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| Angelique67, Blue_Bird, cogladaid, MuddyBoots, Sometimes psychotic
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#315
Sep 13, 2023, 12:00 AM
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There's so many problems.. I don't even know where to begin. More problems than I started with. I just want the ocean of this life wash over me, so I can drown, cry, fall to my knees. That's the way I want to go out.
I don't care what anyone thinks. Show me a reason to change. There is no reason. Why were we born... A reason.. Why were we traumatized, a reason. Why to heal, a reason. Why to die. A reason. There are reasons for it all. Too many ****ing reasons. Find the one reason.. |
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#317
Sep 13, 2023, 12:51 AM
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Nvm I'm fine. But this is my wish. To drown. I want no one to save me but God or something.
Can I save myself? No. I am what drowning is. That's me. I'll save everyone else from drowning.. But in the end, the water fills my lungs, I scream, pass out.. And hallucinate - Some other.. Weird nonsense... |
| MuddyBoots
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#318
Sep 13, 2023, 12:59 AM
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How many people have given me a slap in the face.. It's all out of things like "You're making a big deal out of nothing" or "You poor traumatized soul".
Where is the line. There is none. for everyone. And we continue... As a mass of souls, reaching a destination. It's always death... But which death? Which life do you want to have? You decide.. You decide.. And then we'll all come back around, and understand each other.. The love will come, during those times.. And then there is peace, and everything God ever wanted, once the circle is complete. |
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#320
Sep 13, 2023, 04:48 AM
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Did a 30 day program, start IOP today, doing good stuff. My birthday was yesterday and I was planning on hiking a 4k'er but had a couple appointments so just did a small local hike in between them instead. I'll save the 4k'er for when I'm done with IOP.
__________________
[Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
| Angelique67, Blue_Bird, cogladaid, Desoxyn, Sometimes psychotic
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#321
Sep 13, 2023, 04:51 AM
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I'm a little behind, what's been going on for you guys the past month and a half if you care to share?
__________________
[Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
| Blue_Bird, Sometimes psychotic
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#322
Sep 13, 2023, 05:45 AM
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It’s good to see you Boots! And happy birthday! It’s great you’re doing the IOP program A couple weeks ago I got my very first actual job, I’m a cashier, so I’ve been doing that. Aside from that still doing the volunteer thing with the kitties and am also taking violin lessons. How have things been going for you? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| MuddyBoots
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#323
Sep 13, 2023, 05:53 AM
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and that's awesome! I've always loved the violin. How do you like cashiering?Things have been going well for me. The dd program really did me a lot of good. I'm on a lot of meds now and my pdoc kinda hates it, but whatever it's keeping me stable for now, and I'll eventually cut down. I'll get back to volunteering when I'm done with IOP.
__________________
[Insert thought-provoking and comedic quote here] |
| Angelique67, Blue_Bird
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#324
Sep 13, 2023, 08:40 AM
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That’s awesome, I’m glad the program helped you, and am glad you’re stable! I was wondering how you were when I didn’t see you around here for awhileI played violin in elementary and middle school in the schools orchestra , just started getting back into it. It’s a lot of fun Cashiering is okay. The basic card and cash transactions are easy, it’s when people want to do layaways or returns etc that’s still a bit confusing to me but I’m learning. Occasionally there’s a rude customer but that’s not often and I just try to move on and forget it if there is. Standing for 7 hours is a lot of work, and it’s almost always busy with hardly any down time except for my 30 min lunch break or 15 minute break. I’m out of shape so I’m still adjusting to that. But overall it’s good and I’m happy to be working Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| MuddyBoots
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#325
Sep 13, 2023, 08:41 AM
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These two Halloween wooden door hanger signs I got at Family dollar today
__________________
“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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| Angelique67, cogladaid, MuddyBoots, Sometimes psychotic
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