Roll Call 201

Yay my paid time off for yesterday was approved. So I didn’t miss out on any money for my 4 hour shift I missed.

I have today off because I don’t work Tuesdays but I have work tomorrow from 5pm to 9pm and work Thursday from 11am to 3pm. Then I’m off for another 3 days unless I can pick up an extra shift on Sunday , depending on whether they need extra help or not. I’m hoping that they do

I’ve been playing like Call Of Duty, Red Dead Redemption 2, Need for Speed Hot Pursuit. Stuff like that.

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Red dead redemption is cool. I haven’t played the 2nd one yet though. I have several of the call of duty games

Any tips for cleaning when feeling like you have no energy/motivation. I’ve been slacking majorly on cleaning lately and am unhappy with the state of my apartment and want to get it really nice again.

Set a reward you’ll enjoy. I get to play games for an hour if I do the dishes etc.

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I am good today, just writing an article for a magazine my friend edits, which is kind of neat.

That’s a good idea. I managed to vacuum my whole apartment today. And did the dishes. That’s about it but it’s better than nothing.

I managed to practice violin for an hour and ukulele for a couple hours today. Which is good. Cause I’ve struggled with motivation lately and I have to force myself to do anything

Sometimes I feel guilty about playing games but they’re fun, I just feel bad because I always feel like I have to be productive 24/7 or doing something more useful like reading.

But anyway, been playing a lot of Pokémon Go lately. They have their Halloween event going on. This is my character.

My blood pressure has been low last couple days. Usually my blood pressure is hanging around 105/65 (which is considered a ‘normal low’) but I checked it yesterday and it was like… 101/57.

Today at one point it was 84/58 which is totally considered low. I can’t see the doctor until next Tuesday.

I ate nachos and some chips and now my blood pressure is back around 102/56 which isn’t too off but still lower than normal.

I still feel a little lightheaded. But it’s getting better.

I was in the office today and very unfocused. I might just work from home tomorrow instead of going in. Anyone asks I can just say I was lightheaded which is true.

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I'm here to participate in saving the world

So I look in the mirror.. And realize, it's all mirrors.. All of it..

And that's the beautiful thing about it. When the birds are set free.

One idea... after next..

This new idea will be searching up "Manifesting"

My cat is staring at me

It’s all about balance….

Have work tonight from 5pm to 9pm. I slept good. Took a shower this morning. Having a nice slow morning, ate some oatmeal with blueberries, banana and flax seed. Drinking some coffee. Played some of my game. Read the rest of a book. It’s only like 10:30am and I don’t have to be ready to head out till 3:40pm. I’m probably gonna try to practice violin around 12pm for 30 to 60 min. Then make lunch. I feel pretty good.

Took some propranolol for my anxiety. Will take one more right before work. I can take 2 a day. It’s helpful for dealing with the physical aspects of anxiety. Like the fast heart rate, shakiness, feeling of dread or panic in chest/stomach.

I have no problems in life

Because I am an absurd mind.

Let reality wrap around a building, and suck out all of the office workers, the paper work and bosses and secretaries sex toys - Into another dimension, where the grass is blue, the sky is underground, and the civilization is alien - And live for eons in that place, until that radio signal transmits to God - Where he's had enough, presses the eject button, and get sucked into the vacuum of space. As tentacles grab him, he curses all of creation - Satan blesses it, puts an LSD soaked sock over his eyes and a small grain of metal hits him in the retina, he is now creating it all - A new reality.. The Earth 2.0, inverting inside out, imaginations and direction of heaven - All the of enlightened beings, falling off of a cliff, rolling and bruising (Which feels orgasmic as a thousand supernovae), the blood melts into the sky from anti-gravity computer simulation machines, raining - During the apocalypse, onto all animal spirits that were slaughtered on Earth 1.0 - They drink the collected puddles, hallucinating everything that is nature.. The wind of pollution blows away into holes in the ground.. And everyone sleeps on the new -7th day of the week.

On my 15 minute break. Done with work at 9pm. 30 more minutes and I can leave

Waiting for the bus to go home

Work was good. I was a cashier. The whole time today. I’m home now relaxing. I’m thinking I’m probably gonna be working on Thanksgiving because it falls on a Thursday and I work Thursdays.

My schedule is the same every week now. Monday 11am to 3pm. Wednesday 5pm to 9pm. And Thursday 11am to 3pm. Every week. And I always get Tuesdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays off. That’s really the main perk of getting the talent captain position. I have a regular schedule now instead of random times all over the place changing all the time

Apparently I'm afraid of heights. Cause I had to get up on an extremely high step ladder in the stock room and carry big layaway bags up with me on the ladder to hang on the hooks up there near the ceiling (the ceiling is very high) it freaked me out/made me really nervous and scared I'd mis-step and fall backwards off it and break my neck. I'm clumsy, worst person to do that but I had to do it. Anyway, I never realized I was afraid of heights before because I've never been on a ladder/step thing up that high

Needed to take olanzepine. I have mental illness right now..

But everything is magic anyways.