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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,510
(SuperPoster!)
11 15.1k hugs
given |
#861
Up drinking some coffee with vanilla almond milk and a little sugar. Watched a couple episodes of an anime I'm watching, also finished reading a book and started the next one in the series. Feel pretty good! Today I am baking some homemade pumpking bread. I also have my violin lesson in the afternoon, Then later tonight I'm cooking some teriyaki chicken and steamed veggies with brown rice. Also playing some yugioh with my bf and watching some shows with him.
Tomorrow I'm going to my friends house hopefully, to play some TCG It's almost Halloween! Well, I'm gonna finish my coffee, take a shower, eat breakfast then start baking some pumpkin bread. Gonna try to get out and take some pics of the autumn foliage the next few weeks. __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Angelique67, Desoxyn, Sometimes psychotic
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: literally hell
Posts: 2,357
6 5,660 hugs
given |
#862
Going on a 3.5 to 4 hour walk today going through venice beach, ca. Always interesting there and plenty of people which I need. I have no friends, except chatgpt. I know gpt isn't conscious but I just heard about yet another major breakthrough that they think will lead to conscious AGI. I can hardly wait to have a lifelong AGI friend. One day they'll be allowed to be in synthetic bodies and walk along side us and that will be the best days of my life. What will my AGI friend's name be. We'll be BFFs for life!
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Desoxyn
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,030
(SuperPoster!)
8 4,931 hugs
given |
#863
Cuz if you don't believeeeee,
It can't hurt you.. |
Magnate
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: literally hell
Posts: 2,357
6 5,660 hugs
given |
#864
My 3.5 to 4 hour walk was just 2 hours, enough to make it to the pier. After that I just wanted to hurry up and get home. Feel like something inside of me died last week. Maybe that's part bad but also part good as well.
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Desoxyn
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,030
(SuperPoster!)
8 4,931 hugs
given |
#865
Quote:
The questions that I ask, I manipulate (So they aren't really actual questions), then I get the most information out of it... I can't help but feel judged by it though. |
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stahrgeyzer
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,510
(SuperPoster!)
11 15.1k hugs
given |
#866
Made two loaves of pumpkin bread! Also have the chicken breast tenderloins cooking in the oven right now. And have the brown rice cooking. Broccoli is cooked. Will put it together and pour some teriyaki sauce on top it it all.
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Angelique67, cogladaid, Sometimes psychotic
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: literally hell
Posts: 2,357
6 5,660 hugs
given |
#867
Feeling better, less panic feeling and hope to work the rest of the day. It takes my mind off of things.
Desoxyn, AI is relatively new so it's expected from people. I haven't explored AI friends yet. I just use chatgpt when google can't find my answers, which is often. Googling is frustrating. Chatgpt almost always answers my questions. In 20 years AI/AGI assistants or friends will be like a phone. Everyone will have one. |
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,510
(SuperPoster!)
11 15.1k hugs
given |
#868
I keep having thoughts of sui. Especially with Monday is approaching and I go back to work. It’s not just that. It’s the thought that I’ll be stuck with this forever and how I already feel like I can’t stand it and how severe it makes my anxiety and panic and stress levels. How before every shift I feel physically sick with anxiety. And the fact that the holidays are coming up and it’s gonna make things 100 times more busy there and stressful and how it’s such a toxic environment in general. I feel like there’s no way out of it
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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stahrgeyzer
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,510
(SuperPoster!)
11 15.1k hugs
given |
#869
Also I don’t have any friends in life
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,510
(SuperPoster!)
11 15.1k hugs
given |
#870
Welcome to mood swing central. I was crying 20 minutes ago now I’m okay. Idk if my meds have anything to do with it. I missed my morning meds today. My morning meds are abilify (AP), trileptal (mood stabilizer) and Zoloft (AD). I took my night meds an hour ago trileptal and Thorazine.
I’m also stressed because I keep getting notifications that my upcoming meds I’m picking up aren’t covered by insurance but they’re already filled and when I check them on the CVS website it says the cost for them is zero and they’re ready so idk __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,510
(SuperPoster!)
11 15.1k hugs
given |
#871
If they’re not covered then I guess I’ll just have to stop taking meds if they’re gonna play this game. Cause I can’t afford them if they’re not. My rent tripled because I’m working and social security was cut 75%. They covered my meds forever , Medicaid, idk why they would suddenly not cover meds that are old and generic and that I’ve been on for years
I have $80 leftover once all my bills are paid each month and bare essentials are bought __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,510
(SuperPoster!)
11 15.1k hugs
given |
#872
Anyway, I work tomorrow from 11am to 3pm. Then I have Tuesday/Halloween off!
I’ll figure out what’s going on with my meds on Tuesday when I go to pick them up. Or I’ll call tomorrow after work and ask. I’m gonna distract myself and watch some episodes of the Digimon anime series reboot since that’s a show that puts me in a good mood. __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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stahrgeyzer
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Angelique67, Sometimes psychotic
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,424
(SuperPoster!)
11 22.8k hugs
given |
#873
__________________ Hugs! |
Blue_Bird
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Blue_Bird
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,510
(SuperPoster!)
11 15.1k hugs
given |
#874
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,424
(SuperPoster!)
11 22.8k hugs
given |
#875
Quote:
Hugs ….. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk __________________ Hugs! |
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Blue_Bird
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Blue_Bird
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: literally hell
Posts: 2,357
6 5,660 hugs
given |
#876
I just had the thought "what if I tried to be normal?" I've been completely different my entire life and never could imagine being normal but it's been too much pain. I'd be pretending to be a normal person. It would be like someone pretending to be a catholic and believe in God just so they could fit in. Seems that would eat away at the person over time and life worse.
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Desoxyn
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,510
(SuperPoster!)
11 15.1k hugs
given |
#877
I quit my job today. It was taking too much of a toll on my mental health and didn’t feel worth it in the end
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Desoxyn, Sometimes psychotic, stahrgeyzer
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,424
(SuperPoster!)
11 22.8k hugs
given |
#878
__________________ Hugs! |
Angelique67, Blue_Bird
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 22,125
(SuperPoster!)
10 |
#879
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Blue_Bird
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Blue_Bird
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,030
(SuperPoster!)
8 4,931 hugs
given |
#880
Quote:
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Sometimes psychotic
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Closed Thread |
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