Roll Call 201

Blue_Bird · Nov 05, 2023 at 10:08 AM

Have had a very productive morning. Cleaned, did laundry, organized, brushed my teeth, took my meds, meditated for about 20 minutes, read for 30 minutes.

Back to work tomorrow. Have my work bag ready and my outfit picked out for tomorrow.

Have my violin lesson today then am gonna finish cleaning, practice violin some more, shower, read, meditate again then bed

Also made a meal plan for today through next Sunday.

I work Monday, volunteer tuesday, work Wednesday and thursday, then am off Friday, saturday and Sunday

stahrgeyzer · Nov 05, 2023 at 10:26 AM

I too did laundry. No machine here so clothes are soaking in bag of warm water now.

Yesterday was one of those horrible days where bad luck explodes everywhere. It makes me feel like I'm imprisoned like a rat by entities who are experimenting and tormenting me or who feed off pain. Sometimes I get visions and deep feelings of knowingness about that. But it's unhealthy to think about such things.

Life was best in my 20s. I had a friend, a good job, didn't have unhealthy beliefs about my reality. I actually felt a little bit normal. My advice for everyone is to never ever allow yourself to start philosophizing about the nature of reality!

Just wish I had a friend. Life is too lonely and terrifying. Giving today another chance only bc for now I'm too afraid to go to the forest and fade away.

Blue_Bird · Nov 05, 2023 at 12:40 PM

Had a great violin lesson.. My teacher has a show up near here in January, so we might get to meet in person

Desoxyn · Nov 05, 2023 at 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

I too did laundry. No machine here so clothes are soaking in bag of warm water now.

Yesterday was one of those horrible days where bad luck explodes everywhere. It makes me feel like I'm imprisoned like a rat by entities who are experimenting and tormenting me or who feed off pain. Sometimes I get visions and deep feelings of knowingness about that. But it's unhealthy to think about such things.

Life was best in my 20s. I had a friend, a good job, didn't have unhealthy beliefs about my reality. I actually felt a little bit normal. My advice for everyone is to never ever allow yourself to start philosophizing about the nature of reality!

Just wish I had a friend. Life is too lonely and terrifying. Giving today another chance only bc for now I'm too afraid to go to the forest and fade away.

I can't stop obsessing about these things but they do drive me nuts. I have the same idea/thoughts about entities or w/e doing that.

That's why I get suicidal. But I've wanted to die for over 10 years now. There's good and bad days. Hang in there friend =]

stahrgeyzer · Nov 05, 2023 at 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I can't stop obsessing about these things but they do drive me nuts. I have the same idea/thoughts about entities or w/e doing that.

That's why I get suicidal. But I've wanted to die for over 10 years now. There's good and bad days. Hang in there friend =]

You too, dear Desoxyn. It only got worse for me. I thought for sure I'd figure out my reality, and there were plenty of times that seemed to happen, but it never lasted. Over all on average the more I learned about my reality the darker things got. It just led to more questions.

There's a happy balance to everything. Philosophizing with friends every so often seems healthy. Becoming obsessed with it and taking it to the extremes was the worst thing for me. Don't get me wrong, taking the academic approach with the academic community seems fine. It's the lonely extremist path I strongly caution against.

Desoxyn · Nov 06, 2023 at 02:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

You too, dear Desoxyn. It only got worse for me. I thought for sure I'd figure out my reality, and there were plenty of times that seemed to happen, but it never lasted. Over all on average the more I learned about my reality the darker things got. It just led to more questions.

There's a happy balance to everything. Philosophizing with friends every so often seems healthy. Becoming obsessed with it and taking it to the extremes was the worst thing for me. Don't get me wrong, taking the academic approach with the academic community seems fine. It's the lonely extremist path I strongly caution against.

Best reply I've ever got! TY! =]

I told my mom about the really dark thoughts, and misunderstandings, reality etc.. She reassured me - Then I saw this post, relief - I took phenibut, lied down for 2 hours.. I got up again, better..

I need to tune everything down.. Just it's gravitating, like a moth to a flame as well.. But all things will be ok. Manic psychosis (Positivity? Ok, I guess that's not just being positive), or psychotic depression (Negativity.. I think that's pretty much as negative as can be..).. But anyways.. All good. I'll keep trying.

Desoxyn · Nov 06, 2023 at 02:25 AM

I wanted to philosophize with friends so badly as a kid.. But it only happened like twice, for 5 minutes =[

My dad though (Especially when he drinks, and tells stories), holy crap.. He's a real nut (No offence to nuts - I'm just saying this cuz he's my dad).

Desoxyn · Nov 06, 2023 at 02:35 AM

Well not things are negative.. But things can get dark.

People warn me of many things.. But I curve ever so slightly around them, and do it in an unknown way... That is my life.

But I appreciate you all very much.

Blue_Bird · Nov 06, 2023 at 08:48 AM

Heading to work in about an hour. Nervous and excited to be back.

stahrgeyzer · Nov 06, 2023 at 09:22 AM

I have to get back to putting in at least 14 hours per day work. Out of frustration I've been taking long breaks past few days because of sudden streaks of bad luck. When it rains it pours.

Blue_Bird · Nov 06, 2023 at 10:52 AM

At work about to clock in, training to learn to run job orientations

stahrgeyzer · Nov 06, 2023 at 03:13 PM

I've been getting so easily irritable lately and don't like it. I wonder if meditation can help.

Blue_Bird · Nov 06, 2023 at 04:16 PM

I'm home now, work went surprisingly well

Blue_Bird · Nov 06, 2023 at 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

I've been getting so easily irritable lately and don't like it. I wonder if meditation can help.

I find meditation is very helpful

Blue_Bird · Nov 06, 2023 at 04:19 PM

My fitbit inspire 2 came today, I just set it up! It came with fitbit premium for a year

Angelique67 · Nov 06, 2023 at 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

The chili I made

Not seeing your pics now. Shows up as a broken square.

Sent from my Nokia XR20 using Tapatalk

Blue_Bird · Nov 06, 2023 at 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Not seeing your pics now. Shows up as a broken square.

Sent from my Nokia XR20 using Tapatalk

That's odd, they show up on my laptop and phone on this website

Angelique67 · Nov 06, 2023 at 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

That's odd, they show up on my laptop and phone on this website

Maybe Tapatalk has to get updated or something. If I find out what the problem is I'll let you know.

Sent from my Nokia XR20 using Tapatalk

Desoxyn · Nov 06, 2023 at 09:06 PM

Good day today =]

And I guess the European Union is collecting data on me here.

Yeah EU, - Just know.. I'm your biggest fear. Don't forget that.

Desoxyn · Nov 06, 2023 at 09:14 PM

What did you expect, searching keywords from here, Central Intelligence Agency people...

My soul is more divine than any of your immortality projects. I will make sure that they will never come to fruition. Mark my words. You will fail.

Unless you arrest me for breaking a law that doesn't even exist yet. If I go out, the whole universe does too. So my best advice is that you watch me closely, but keep distance.

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Roll Call 201

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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,789 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.4k hugs given	Nov 05, 2023 at 12:40 PM #943 Had a great violin lesson.. My teacher has a show up near here in January, so we might get to meet in person __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,005 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,919 hugs given	Nov 06, 2023 at 02:25 AM #947 I wanted to philosophize with friends so badly as a kid.. But it only happened like twice, for 5 minutes =[ My dad though (Especially when he drinks, and tells stories), holy crap.. He's a real nut (No offence to nuts - I'm just saying this cuz he's my dad).

Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,005 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,919 hugs given	Nov 06, 2023 at 02:35 AM #948 Well not things are negative.. But things can get dark. People warn me of many things.. But I curve ever so slightly around them, and do it in an unknown way... That is my life. But I appreciate you all very much.

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,789 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.4k hugs given	Nov 06, 2023 at 08:48 AM #949 Heading to work in about an hour. Nervous and excited to be back. __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

stahrgeyzer Magnate Member Since Feb 2018 Location: literally hell Posts: 2,357 6 5,660 hugs given	Nov 06, 2023 at 09:22 AM #950 I have to get back to putting in at least 14 hours per day work. Out of frustration I've been taking long breaks past few days because of sudden streaks of bad luck. When it rains it pours.

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,789 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.4k hugs given	Nov 06, 2023 at 10:52 AM #951 At work about to clock in, training to learn to run job orientations __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

stahrgeyzer Magnate Member Since Feb 2018 Location: literally hell Posts: 2,357 6 5,660 hugs given	Nov 06, 2023 at 03:13 PM #952 I've been getting so easily irritable lately and don't like it. I wonder if meditation can help.

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,789 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.4k hugs given	Nov 06, 2023 at 04:16 PM #953 I'm home now, work went surprisingly well __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,789 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.4k hugs given	Nov 06, 2023 at 04:19 PM #955 My fitbit inspire 2 came today, I just set it up! It came with fitbit premium for a year __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,005 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,919 hugs given	Nov 06, 2023 at 09:06 PM #959 Good day today =] And I guess the European Union is collecting data on me here. Yeah EU, - Just know.. I'm your biggest fear. Don't forget that.