Roll Call 202

Blue_Bird · Jan 28, 2024 at 04:48 AM

One annoying thing about my bf is he denies that I have any sort of mental illness. So it like makes me question whether I’m imagining it all or something

Blue_Bird · Jan 28, 2024 at 05:39 AM

I’m pretty stable now on the meds I’m on but I still have problems and was a train wreck for half my life, he’s never seen my when I was off meds and how I was for many years , I did a lot of work to get myself to where I am today and I feel like he just invalidated it, he says it in like a way where he means well but at the same time it’s extremely invalidating for everything I’ve gone through and how much work I’ve put into getting stable. I’ve had to go through so many med changes and hell to find a combo that works and have had to do so much therapy and work on myself and my mindset and coping skill stuff to get where I am. It’s so easy for it to get screwed up too. One night with not enough sleep and I’m dissociating and paranoid after a few days of not enough sleep or barely and I start to get manic and blow all my money on impulse purchases and put myself in very bad financial situations. It’s such a precarious balance and anything can tip it , but I do my best to manage it and I think I’ve come far from where I was 11 years ago

Sometimes psychotic · Jan 28, 2024 at 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I’m pretty stable now on the meds I’m on but I still have problems and was a train wreck for half my life, he’s never seen my when I was off meds and how I was for many years , I did a lot of work to get myself to where I am today and I feel like he just invalidated it, he says it in like a way where he means well but at the same time it’s extremely invalidating for everything I’ve gone through and how much work I’ve put into getting stable. I’ve had to go through so many med changes and hell to find a combo that works and have had to do so much therapy and work on myself and my mindset and coping skill stuff to get where I am. It’s so easy for it to get screwed up too. One night with not enough sleep and I’m dissociating and paranoid after a few days of not enough sleep or barely and I start to get manic and blow all my money on impulse purchases and put myself in very bad financial situations. It’s such a precarious balance and anything can tip it , but I do my best to manage it and I think I’ve come far from where I was 11 years ago

My bf always says stuff like that too. I’m not sure what’s that’s about tbh. Also one of his half brothers is experiencing some kind of psychosis clearly and he has no sympathy for him. I mean I get it …it’s hard to understand unless you’ve been through it but It’s like he doesn’t even believe in psychosis and that if you do have it you’re still accountable for your behavior even though you have no control.

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Blue_Bird · Jan 28, 2024 at 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

My bf always says stuff like that too. I’m not sure what’s that’s about tbh. Also one of his half brothers is experiencing some kind of psychosis clearly and he has no sympathy for him. I mean I get it …it’s hard to understand unless you’ve been through it but It’s like he doesn’t even believe in psychosis and that if you do have it you’re still accountable for your behavior even though you have no control.

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My bf has adhd and bipolar but he doesn’t take meds for it. So there’s no reason he shouldn’t understand

Sometimes psychotic · Jan 28, 2024 at 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

My bf has adhd and bipolar but he doesn’t take meds for it. So there’s no reason he shouldn’t understand

He may not believe in the medical model at all though….

Blue_Bird · Jan 28, 2024 at 07:21 PM

3 days without caffeine or coffee of any kind. Also almost to 4 days, one more hour to go. Goal is to make it to a year. I’m craving it so badly right now it’s insane. But the headaches are gone now finally. I was drinking 5-6 or more cups of coffee a day every single day for 5 years. So it’s not easy. I have felt very irritable on and off the past couple days. It seems silly to feel like I was addicted to caffeine but it was literally my main drink all day everyday, when I was feeling upset? Coffee, feeling happy? Coffee, feeling stressed? More coffee, feeling like procrastinating? Coffee, feeling depressed? Coffee will perk me up. I was so reliant on it for literally everything

Blue_Bird · Jan 28, 2024 at 08:18 PM

Still have a cough somehow

Desoxyn · Jan 29, 2024 at 03:20 AM

ADHD hypomania

Fun times in the AMs, in the realm of pretty colours, icons etc and infinite pleasures available. What am I to do..

Idk. Idk.. To take a zopiclone and go to sleep.

Blue_Bird · Jan 29, 2024 at 07:45 AM

About to go to the food pantry since I have literally nothing in my house to eat except condiments and my Foodstamps don’t come in till Friday.

Blue_Bird · Jan 29, 2024 at 09:33 AM

Just got back from the food pantry I got:

A whole cheesecake from Hannaford
Cooked buffalo ranch chicken wings from hannaford
A 2 gallon of milk
A block of New York white cheddar cheese
Yogurt
Oranges
Apples
2 jars of peanut butter
2 jars of jelly
Ciabatta rolls
Bordeaux rolls
A big bag of chicken nuggets
A 3 1/2 lb thing of chicken thighs
Granola bars
Scalloped potatoes
Rice
Soup
Pasta
Tomato sauce
2 cans of fancy feast cat food for Mustachio

Desoxyn · Jan 30, 2024 at 01:59 AM

How do I put the right information in front of my vision

Blue_Bird · Jan 30, 2024 at 12:49 PM

Had a great time volunteering with the rescue cats today

Blue_Bird · Jan 30, 2024 at 01:30 PM

I applied for a job at Gap

Blue_Bird · Jan 30, 2024 at 01:31 PM

It’s right next door to the Petsmart I volunteer at

Blue_Bird · Jan 30, 2024 at 02:20 PM

I also applied to two different Burger King locations

Blue_Bird · Jan 30, 2024 at 02:43 PM

Food service is a little out of my comfort zone because I only have experience with cashiering /retail, but I'm sure I can learn

unsure123 · Jan 30, 2024 at 05:21 PM

I'm really not doing too good at the moment. Lots of paranoia. Hope everyone is well.

Sometimes psychotic · Jan 30, 2024 at 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unsure123

I'm really not doing too good at the moment. Lots of paranoia. Hope everyone is well.

Hugs Unsure hope you feel better soon.

unsure123 · Jan 30, 2024 at 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Hugs Unsure hope you feel better soon.

Thank you SP

Desoxyn · Feb 01, 2024 at 12:10 AM

All I must do is get mentally stronger

The DPDR and some psychosis is gone now. But it will still take a little more time.

Well basically this is as good as it can get. For now (If you know what I mean).

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Roll Call 202

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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,821 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.4k hugs given	Jan 28, 2024 at 08:18 PM #487 Still have a cough somehow __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,012 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,923 hugs given	Jan 29, 2024 at 03:20 AM #488 ADHD hypomania Fun times in the AMs, in the realm of pretty colours, icons etc and infinite pleasures available. What am I to do.. Idk. Idk.. To take a zopiclone and go to sleep.
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,821 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.4k hugs given	Jan 29, 2024 at 07:45 AM #489 About to go to the food pantry since I have literally nothing in my house to eat except condiments and my Foodstamps don’t come in till Friday. __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,012 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,923 hugs given	Jan 30, 2024 at 01:59 AM #491 How do I put the right information in front of my vision
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,821 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.4k hugs given	Jan 30, 2024 at 12:49 PM #492 Had a great time volunteering with the rescue cats today __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,821 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.4k hugs given	Jan 30, 2024 at 01:30 PM #493 I applied for a job at Gap __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,821 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.4k hugs given	Jan 30, 2024 at 01:31 PM #494 It’s right next door to the Petsmart I volunteer at __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,821 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.4k hugs given	Jan 30, 2024 at 02:20 PM #495 I also applied to two different Burger King locations __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,821 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.4k hugs given	Jan 30, 2024 at 02:43 PM #496 Food service is a little out of my comfort zone because I only have experience with cashiering /retail, but I'm sure I can learn __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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unsure123 Grand Poohbah Member Since Apr 2014 Location: uk Posts: 1,610 10 45 hugs given	Jan 30, 2024 at 05:21 PM #497 I'm really not doing too good at the moment. Lots of paranoia. Hope everyone is well. __________________ https://youtu.be/9A7GTGSfrIU?si=LQ8tGWkBEH-Sh4UO
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 13,012 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,923 hugs given	Feb 01, 2024 at 12:10 AM #500 All I must do is get mentally stronger The DPDR and some psychosis is gone now. But it will still take a little more time. Well basically this is as good as it can get. For now (If you know what I mean).
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