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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,309
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11 14.9k hugs
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#801
I think I’m finally realizing that I’m bisexual, like I’ve had physical attraction to most genders, even though I only ever pursued actually dating men due to fear of what others would think. I’ve been very physically attracted to men, women, and transgender people at various times in my life. I don’t want to bring it up to anyone in my life at the moment yet but my boyfriend is aware. He’s genderfluid. But yeah, that’s a whole thing. I have just now at this moment accepted in myself. Like I’ve always known I’ve been attracted to different genders but I never felt it mattered because I always dated men. But I think maybe I should accept that because I don’t think I should feel bad about it. I’ve been contemplating/pondering it a lot this past year and I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m bi, and that’s fine. I can be very physically attracted to people regardless of their gender or gender identity.
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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cogladaid
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,701
10 2,916 hugs
given |
#802
Quote:
__________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,309
(SuperPoster!)
11 14.9k hugs
given |
#803
Quote:
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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WastingAsparagus
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,309
(SuperPoster!)
11 14.9k hugs
given |
#804
I broke up with my bf today. So like about 2-3 months ago he got a new job. And he has this coworker. He’s admitted she’s attractive. She’s tried to flirt with him he said. He said they’re just friends. But like every single time we’re on the phone it’s “so and so this, so and so that” it’s like constantly him talking about her and being all excited about her and now they go to the gym together after work and workout together. And he said he’s gonna let her use his kitchen to cook some cause she’s staying with a friend right now. So he’s gonna let her come over and use his kitchen to cook whenever. Also a lot of the time we’re talking on FaceTime I hear his texts come through and he gets distracted and they’re from her.
Like I feel like I’m justified in being concerned? Idk if I’m overreacting because of my BPD. Like I let it go for awhile. I don’t have a problem with him having friends or female friends but this just seems really excessive especially for someone he barely knows and is completely enamored with. But idk. So I broke up with him over text. I haven’t heard back yet cause he’s sleeping. We’re also long distance at the moment so it complicates things further. The thing is I don’t even think he realizes it’s happening. Like I literally believe he believes that nothing is going on. I don’t think things have to get intimate though for it to be considered cheating. But that’s just my opinion. I really just got sick of all our conversations revolving around her and what they’re gonna do. It would be one thing if they weren’t attracted to eachother but they are. __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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WastingAsparagus
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cogladaid, WastingAsparagus
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,309
(SuperPoster!)
11 14.9k hugs
given |
#805
Anyway yeah it really sucks and it hurts. Especially since he seems oblivious to it. I’m not that naive to not realize when someone is falling for someone else
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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cogladaid
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Elder
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 5,569
9 |
#806
Quote:
I’m sorry that sucks. But I think you did the right thing for what it’s worth. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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Blue_Bird
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,309
(SuperPoster!)
11 14.9k hugs
given |
#807
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,309
(SuperPoster!)
11 14.9k hugs
given |
#808
So we talked about it and are gonna try to work on things including better communication. Cause I let things get under my skin and don’t say anything until I explode in impulsive anger. So we’ll see how things go. It’s complicated because we both have bipolar and he has ADHD and I have BPD. So it’s kind of a lot sometimes but we’re trying to work on it
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Angelique67
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,309
(SuperPoster!)
11 14.9k hugs
given |
#809
@Desoxyn
What do you know about CBD gummies? Like to promote better sleep and lessen anxiety at night , I’m considering trying them __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,024
(SuperPoster!)
8 4,929 hugs
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#810
Quote:
CBD isn't the best for anxiety, it can work really well for some people.. It takes a while for it to build up in the system usually (Cuz of its 50 hour half life). What I did, was smoke CBD flower (No THC) for a while, it built up in my system, and then I could smoke THC flower without getting anxiety - But if I start with just THC flower, I get a panic attack. What really works for me though are "10mg CBD/5mg CBN/2mg THC" gummies - Those are nice and relaxing. 5mg of CBN has been said to be the equivalent of 5mg of Valium. I'd just try 10mg of CBD (Without THC), and see how it effects you - People react very differently to cannabinoids =] |
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Blue_Bird
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Angelique67, Blue_Bird
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,309
(SuperPoster!)
11 14.9k hugs
given |
#811
Quote:
I probably am gonna get ones with THC in them because I have smoked in the past and it never caused me any issues. It’s been along time though so my tolerance is probably very low now. But I’m gonna start with a low dose. Part of it is to relax, part of it is to feel good, part of it is to help sleep. The ones I’m getting are these that have CBD and 10mg of THC more for having feeling good and these sleep ones which are a combo 50mg CBD 5mg THC and 3mg melatonin Also I’m getting a vape pen. Not for tobacco but for THC. Not like gonna smoke all day or anything but I do enjoy it occasionally Marijuana is completely legal in my state __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Desoxyn
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,024
(SuperPoster!)
8 4,929 hugs
given |
#812
Quote:
Just be careful cuz it can give panic and psychosis - Especially too much, and when you're still dealing with dissociation. *Remember the warning - But otherwise, make sure you do research, and if you decide, have enjoyment.. No being put in prison.. We'll have none of that BS* =] |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,309
(SuperPoster!)
11 14.9k hugs
given |
#813
Quote:
I might wait till I visit my bf to try to the pen I’m getting , because at least I won’t be alone and will be with someone who’s used to it that I trust in case something weird happens. He’s smokes daily and has tripped before on lsd and mushrooms __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Desoxyn
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,701
10 2,916 hugs
given |
#814
Hey everyone, I have a light week work-wise this week, so I have more time on my hands. To me, this is a good development. I was exhausted last week.
__________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
Blue_Bird
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Blue_Bird
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,309
(SuperPoster!)
11 14.9k hugs
given |
#815
Went to my buildings potluck today. I baked homemade chocolate chip peanut butter chip cookies. They must of gone over well because I put a huge plate out and I everything was gone at the end.
I got some stuff for my apartment today. So I got 4 nice new pillows, a mattress topper, new sheets , a new comforter, a bathroom mat, a new shower curtain I really like the combo of black comforter and super colorful sheets __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Angelique67, cogladaid
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,309
(SuperPoster!)
11 14.9k hugs
given |
#816
I got sick of the beige shower curtain in my beige bathroom so I got this
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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cogladaid
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,024
(SuperPoster!)
8 4,929 hugs
given |
#817
Pleasant Invega controlled psychosis
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 13,024
(SuperPoster!)
8 4,929 hugs
given |
#818
I need a break somehow.. Nothing will give me a break. It's like I'm stuck in a video game.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 37,309
(SuperPoster!)
11 14.9k hugs
given |
#819
Some of the stuff for my apartment came today. New pillows, bed sheets, a shower curtain and a bathroom mat.
I really love how my shower curtain looks in my bathroom. It really makes it pop. Like before I had a beige curtain and my bathroom is mostly beige to begin with so it really was boring looking and annoyed me for awhile. So I got this pretty dark one. I have an appointment with my therapist today. Have that yoga class I have to run tomorrow so I’m trying to find a good beginner instructional video for the class. __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Angelique67, Desoxyn
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,701
10 2,916 hugs
given |
#820
I can't find the motivation to run on the treadmill anymore. I don't know. People say "motivation is driven by action" but I can't drive myself to act. It is unbelievably hard. Today I just went on a walk and I was overwhelmed by the number of people who were out. I live in a huge city where there are lots of people out and about all the time pretty much. I guess my distress is about the same amount as when I lived in the U.S. I just like it here more because I feel more independent. Anyway, the pandemic ruined my anxiety which was already pretty dire. I mean before the pandemic my anxiety was pretty much tolerable. After the pandemic though and I guess a little bit before it, I needed benzos to cope. And I am still on benzos, however many years later. I guess it has been four years. I genuinely hate benzos, I just haven't been able to get off of them. My psychiatrist says he has ideas for when we meet next on how to get off of them, to reduce the dose really slowly. We'll see if that works in combination with therapy and the other meds I take. Oh how I would love to get off of benzos.
__________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
Blue_Bird, Desoxyn
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