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survivorguilt
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Default Feb 20, 2024 at 09:52 AM
  #1
Hi, for context I had a psychotic episode when I was 11-10, psychiatrist put in a paper that it was something along the lines of ''depressive episode with psychotic symptoms'' if I remember correctly.

The thing is, I think I'm falling into an episode again, last night my thoughts were going really fast, couldn't read nor comprehend anything, I was erratic, I felt like that again, I was pacing in my room and laughing at nothing, I was way too agitated, I saw a bug crawling in my computer last night and I just couldn't know if it was real or not, I saw a light in the ceiling, that could NOT be there because my room was completely dark and I had nothing that could make that light.

Today, I feel my whole body itching and I keep having the thought that there may be bugs under my skin, this is something I experienced in my first episode, my dad was watching something in his phone, and I had to cover my ears to know if it was noises I hallucinated or not, I keep having these thoughts of ''oh, this is a simulation'', and then I realized, some of my behaviour could STILL be considered psychotic, like ''turning the computer or putting something on top of my phone's camera or screen because they're watching me, someone is hacking my cameras and watching me'', hearing phrases or singular words, like they are in my head, (which don't happen a lot but they are there), and more things but I forgot them,

How did you felt (as in sensations, feelings, behaviour) when you fell back into a psychotic episode?
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Default Feb 20, 2024 at 10:40 AM
  #2
@survivorguilt welcome to MSF. I am sorry to hear you are experiencing mental health challenges. I can hear some anxiety in what you say which is totally understandable.

I can speak of the experience of a friend that I witnessed close hand. They had mood swings and were diagnosed as bipolar. Sometimes they were totally depressed just wanting to lay in bed and sometimes they would cycle out of that and start talking repeatedly. They had a racing mind. They could not focus they just wanted to keep talking and talking. But they were not connected to the same reality most people are connected to.

They needed professional help but refused until they walked into the police station to report an imagned crime that never happened and they talked to them for hours. They finally brought her to a psych hospital to get treatment. Medicines helped them but they also needed ECT Electro-Convulsive Therapy.

They got better but they still have the tendency to start cycling again with their moods if they go off their meds.

What medical options are available to you?

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