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Default Aug 28, 2024 at 06:46 PM
  #121
My mood was very euphoric yesterday, today I’m feeling very blah

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Default Sep 04, 2024 at 02:41 PM
  #122
How does one find meaning in life? Like I'm not really finding much right now. It's kinda sad because I have great things going on. Sometimes I just feel like things are meaningless. Like I have the recurring thought that life is meaningless. It's tough to deal with.

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Default Sep 04, 2024 at 02:42 PM
  #123
It probably doesn't help that I've been listening to a ton of blues music. Anyway, though, I love the blues. But it seems like my mood has been bad lately. I suppose maybe I'll ask my pdoc for modafinil again.

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Default Sep 05, 2024 at 04:29 AM
  #124
I am doing well this morning. Went for a run that I did outdoors. That was good.

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Default Sep 05, 2024 at 12:35 PM
  #125
Hey WA good to see you, glad the run helped. Sorry you’re feeling that way though. I find when I feel things are meaningless sometimes hobbies help. Not always though

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Default Sep 05, 2024 at 12:36 PM
  #126
Having a goal to work towards can be helpful and give you a sense of meaning. For me it’s learning the violin and progressing with that with my lessons

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Default Sep 05, 2024 at 12:42 PM
  #127
I’m doing okay. Dissociating some today. Idk why. Sometimes it just happens. Oh well. Trying to ground myself.

I counted all the candy corn and put it into a huge jar for the candy corn counting contest for the building. There was a lot. Over 1,000 pieces. Whoever guesses right is gonna have candy for a long time lol

I got some fall decor items. Well a coffee travel mug and a tabletop witch hat decor. I’m ready for fall for sure. Tomorrow I’m going to the movie theater to see the new beetlejuice movie. I

I got a new physical monthly/weekly planner. Excited. I love planners. Idk why. They make me happy though. It makes me feel really organized. There’s something about the physical ones that I like better than digital planners.

I’m supposed to be making a sign for the movie night today for the apartment buildings community room. The program person is gonna get the supplies at Walmart today then I’m gonna make it.
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Default Sep 06, 2024 at 04:41 AM
  #128
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Having a goal to work towards can be helpful and give you a sense of meaning. For me it’s learning the violin and progressing with that with my lessons
I've been listening to TED Talks (or watching them, actually, it's cool). That's great that you've found the violin (or re-engaged in it; I don't know when you started playing, if it was recent or not).

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Default Sep 06, 2024 at 06:09 PM
  #129
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I've been listening to TED Talks (or watching them, actually, it's cool). That's great that you've found the violin (or re-engaged in it; I don't know when you started playing, if it was recent or not).
I played violin in elementary school in my schools orchestra through middle school then lost interest for many years. I started taking private lessons a year ago at 30 years old with a really good violinist/teacher and I’m loving it

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Default Sep 06, 2024 at 06:10 PM
  #130
The new beetlejuice movie was really good.

The honey lemon chicken I made is cooking right now in the crockpot

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Default Sep 07, 2024 at 06:39 AM
  #131
I am practicing mindful breathing this morning, and it is really helping me be present.

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Default Sep 07, 2024 at 11:54 AM
  #132
The honey lemon chicken came out great as usual. I love that recipe. I'm glad I found it.

I slept good. Had a panic attack last night. Forced myself to lay under my weighted blanket and go to sleep early then woke up feeling better today.

Not much going on this weekend. Just enjoying reading a lot on my Kindle. Other than that gonna practice violin since I have a lesson coming up Monday afternoon. Right now I'm learning the Game of Thrones theme song. It's surprisingly easier than I thought. The part I'm struggling with a tad bit is the second part but my violin teacher is gonna help me with that. Mostly taking it easy this weekend as I have a busy week next week:

Monday: Coffee day jn the community room, violin lesson
Tuesday: Inspection, tenants meeting
Thursday: Therapy appointment/starting EMDR, volunteer shift with the kitties
Friday: Psychiatrsit appointment
Saturday: Pharmacy to pick up my meds

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Default Sep 10, 2024 at 11:06 AM
  #133
Apparently there's some sort of leak coming from my apartment of water, I am not sure what to do about it other than wait. I hate waiting. Anyway, on a positive note, I am doing pretty well today mentally. Just listening to some good music this morning. And typing some stuff. My thesis is going ok. Just gotta get more motivated I guess on it. I don't know how.

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Default Sep 12, 2024 at 02:32 AM
  #134
Today I am doing well. Finally got back into my routine.

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Default Sep 12, 2024 at 12:31 PM
  #135
How do you pass boredom without wanting to do anything? I think it's a state called apathy. But it's really hard to get through.

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Default Sep 16, 2024 at 11:15 AM
  #136
I had my first EMDR session today in therapy

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Default Sep 17, 2024 at 11:14 AM
  #137
I went to that Italian cafe/bakery by myself today. I got a large caramel macchiato with cinnamon on top and two chocolate covered Sicilian cannolis. It was amazing. I’m so proud of myself because it’s so hard for me to go and do things alone. I used google maps and walked there. I was worried about getting lost because I didn’t know which turns to take but it tracked my movements and told me exactly where to go to get there and the way back. And I sat at the table and enjoyed my coffee and dessert there.

I had a nightmare last night related to past medical trauma (lithium toxicity with seizures and kidney failure, ending up in the ICU for 8 days). Probably from talking about it in therapy yesterday.

Anyway, I’m doing pretty good. About to practice violin. I’m gonna record more ukulele Christmas songs tonight and post them on Facebook
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Default Sep 18, 2024 at 12:46 PM
  #138
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How do you pass boredom without wanting to do anything? I think it's a state called apathy. But it's really hard to get through.
I've gotten through this boredom, but I now have a new issue - I am realizing I am extremely lonely.

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Default Sep 19, 2024 at 11:59 AM
  #139
I’m just dissociating right now. Have been since earlier today when I got on the treadmill

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Default Sep 19, 2024 at 12:00 PM
  #140
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I've gotten through this boredom, but I now have a new issue - I am realizing I am extremely lonely.
Sorry you’re dealing with that. I’m very lonely too. I don’t really have anyone to talk to now that I broke up with my boyfriend last month

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