So Sad....I've lost my good friend

I've just probably had my last phone conversation with a friend I had considered very close to my heart. She and her husband had adopted the sibling of our son whom we had adopted and I'd been so happy that we'd be able to share information on the siblings together.

Turns out that she's probably undiagnosed paranoid schizophrenic and says she doesn't want me to call her until my husband and I both admit that we're liars and that we're posting online and spreading lies that they're abusing their girl. What else can I do but honor her request because I can't admit to anything we didn't do.

I'm just so sad about losing a good friend to such crap and not being able to help her at all. Everyone here keeps saying to let her go. It would be easier if they didn't have our son's sister to raise. I wanted to keep them pretty much together so when it came time to share that they are full-blooded siblings, they'd have had the contact for years.

To all of you who have been getting meds or talk therapy.....I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! I know it's not an easy road but there are those of us who care....family and friends who are devastated for those who don't get any help or don't even see a need for doctors.

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Hello rainbow62

I'm just so sad about losing a good friend to such crap and not being able to help her at all. Everyone here keeps saying to let her go. It would be easier if they didn't have our son's sister to raise. I wanted to keep them pretty much together so when it came time to share that they are full-blooded siblings, they'd have had the contact for years.

That certainly is very sad and I hope that, given time, your friend comes around and you're able to resume your friendship and co-parenting relationship once more.

Turns out that she's probably undiagnosed paranoid schizophrenic and says she doesn't want me to call her until my husband and I both admit that we're liars and that we're posting online and spreading lies that they're abusing their girl. What else can I do but honor her request because I can't admit to anything we didn't do.

I couldn't possibly know what is fueling your friend's suspicions but I have seen similar behaviors in people who were not the least bit schizophrenic. One possibility is that someone is indeed spreading rumors about her online -- I've seen that happen too -- and she's leapt to some false assumptions that it's you. Have you had an opportunity to speak with her husband or other family members and if so, have they been able to shed any light on her recent behavior?

To all of you who have been getting meds or talk therapy.....I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! I know it's not an easy road but there are those of us who care....family and friends who are devastated for those who don't get any help or don't even see a need for doctors.

Try not to be too hard on those who don't get help or value doctors. Many of them have tried and found they didn't get the kind of help they needed; it may be difficult for them to reinvest their trust or faith in a system that let them down.
No doubt, you'll find yourself feeling the same way about your friend.

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Hi Spiritual Emergency,

Thanks for your response and just thought I'd give you an update.

Since my friend had told me to ask my husband and her own husband about what's going on, I did. I emailed her hubby and asked him if he knew where she's getting all these accusations from and to see if he could validate any of them.

His response was very encouraging in that he has had a history of dealing with his own parents, dad with paranoia and mom with dementia. He mentioned he felt surrounded. He's tried to convince her that there's nothing going on and that there's no "conspiracy" against them(in her own words).

He's grateful for all the support we're giving him at this time and that he unlike his wife will continue having contact with us and that to me is what I needed to hear. Now I know that inspite of my friend not wanting contact with us, he'll be there for her and in his words, "try to chip away pieces". I told him that even if she never accepts us again...it's alright and one day she'll hopefully know how much we love her.

Thanks again!

In time hopefully his wife will heal. I think you made a good choice by giving her space and I'm sure her husband appreciates you showing your love for her.

Thanks PsyChris! In the mean time, I'll try helping those who accept help. Take care!