Invasive Thoughts

Hello,
I suffer from this exceedingly strong feeling that the world is not real. That I am an experiment organised by a secret government institution. They are not all human. But the problem I am having at the minute is fighting the urge to act out aggressively. I keep thinking about hurting or attacking these 'people' because of what they have done to me. But I really don't want to hurt anyone. Regardless of how non-human they are. I hate violence. But these thoughts are obsessively taking over. I dream about going to peoples houses and killing them then saying, 'Well it doesn't matter this is not real'. I am so worried I am going to act on these thoughts and actually hurt someone. I was hospitalised seven weeks ago for stalking someone with a knife and when they confronted me I yelled that this wasn't happening they were not real. I was in a state at the time. I was released from hospital last week. Everything seems to be going downhill at the minute. I think I should talk to my CPN about this but what if they hospitalise me again...

How do I deal with this alone? Any advice?

(((((Apoc)))))

I'm so sorry this has happened so soon after coming out of Hospital.

Your anger should be vented on something like a pillow with feathers that will go all over when you tear it apart.

wish I could be more helpful, someone will come along soon - I diidn't want you to feel alone. yes, talk to your CPN.

Sounds like this could be getting close to dangerous, for someone, and horrible for you. I'd say definately time to get help. If it means going to hospital, its better than something worse. Its good that you're sharing here.

I think that you should probably ask your threrapist or something how you can work on this. Invasive thoughts are usually detrimental to you.......your mind can really play tricks on you sometimes...its really weird but i learned that a few days ago.....i hope you get better

Sometimes I sit and think how unreal I feel. like I'm dreaming but I'm awake. I don't know how to explain it but I feel so distant from everything, I'm obsessed with imaginating myself out of reality and think about it all the time, gets in the way of school and sometimes causes problems with my bf... ;[

I deal with this issue, but have no urge for violence, I sum it up as the masses of society are controlled by what they dictate as the "Norm" and man as a whole in society likes to control all factors of his exsistance.....but in "Reality" Mother Nature is in control. So it is a constant battle between the two, and humans are basically a plague on the earth, and mother nature is battling with man, to rid herself of their destruction of her. I figure Mother Nature will perservere in the end. And those of us who accept her as the "Reality" and live by her terms, will inherit the earth.....