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circles5
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Old Dec 07, 2017 at 04:22 PM
  #1
 
Hi,
I've been a suffer of anxiety disorders since i was a kid.
A year ago a psychotherapist told me i have 'Schema' issues.
In particular; 'emotional deprivation' and 'failure'..

After finding out nothing more - i booked in with my local teams phychiatrist and she agreed with me that i quite likely have Avoidant Personality Disorder, she also shared that she thought i may have Schizotypal Personality Disorder.

The ambivalence of not knowing is really upsetting me. Why would you partially diagnose someone? Allude to a possibility but refuse to confirm it either way.
I've since read about the symptoms and they do seem to fit me pretty well.
Problem i'm facing is trying to not make myself fit the diagnosis.... as i have done this in the past: Thought i had bipolar so read about it and started seeing myself as manic e.t.c.

The only bit that at first didn't sit well with me was the hallucinations.
I've always heard music when there isn't any, usually provoked by a running tap or some background noise. I figured this was just my OCD and i'm a musician so i figured it was a combination of the two.

However, since being partially diagnosed - I've come to realise through this that i do hallucinate a fair bit. I've always considered it normal... but i see people and creatures that aren't there from time to time. Often tricks of the eye; It's a cat!!! no it's a bag.
But sometimes there is nothing there to be mistaken for something else, it's like a cross between it being in my minds eye and being literally visible in front of me.
Like seeing some goulish person staring at me through the window... and knowing somewhere inside it's not real but it still is very frightening.

I just hate not knowing.... I don't have the money to see a Psychiatrist privately.. and i won't see the psych that suggested this diagnosis until next year. I'm at a loss. I've once again had my whole equilibrium turned upside down. One minute i'm normal. Then i have 4+ anxiety disorders. Now i have some personality disorders too... but i don't know which.

ugh, i guess.. i'm not really sure what i was trying to achieve with this post.
It sucks being in the dark.

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DX: BDD, OCD,
Avoidant Personality Disorder, C-Ptsd

RX: 4mg Diazepam daily


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Old Apr 03, 2018 at 02:18 PM
  #2
 
I'm just randomly searching the forums today, well semi random. I know what you are going through with the possible diagnosis of a personality disorder. Mine was "borderline or some personality disorder". Last visit, my pdoc said she'd need to see me a few times before deciding a diagnosis, plus I need a psych evaluation. The latter won't be happening for at least another month now (two total) and it's very nerve wracking to wait and antipate what will be tested, if they even got my proper info during the I take. If you don't see your pdoc again for a year, maybe get a second opinion??

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Old Apr 03, 2018 at 02:38 PM
  #3
 
UK...being “partially diagnosed” and not having a “my pdoc”

I would say this “fits”

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Bonkammerat
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Old Apr 08, 2018 at 04:53 PM
  #4
 
I can understand how frustrating it must feel to be uncertain.
I've also spent a fair amount of time waiting to be taken into treatment, since I also don't have the money to pay for a private psychiatrist (i'm still studying).

The only way that I feel that I can really help you, is by sharing coping mechanisms/strategies to overcome hard times. Let me know if you're interested.
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