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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,995
(SuperPoster!)
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#1
I was talking to people on tinychat and they're saying to get a girlfriend and I said I'm asexual but might when I'm older and finished working on myself first. I just don't want to be in a relationship I'd rather be alone.
There's this person that has been giving me advice and he says I'm lost and need to find something like a passion or something worth dying and living for but I have no idea I've been depressed most of my life and see a pointlessness to a lot of things. He said to stay away from religion but I don't need religion and I'm way passed that and idk.. I never saw the point of people dying for their country.. He said I could end up a serial killer but there's no way that I could be that. I love people and have my own basic passable morals more than most people. He was accusing me of thinking of hating women because I said that I'm asexual and I said that I'm not an incel that has been rejected by women. I just never wanted a boyfriend or girlfriend in the first place. He said that I could easily end up being angry and that anger is bad. I don't get angry because I'm not lost. I'm sick of people putting me into boxes and assuming things about me. I wasn't moving because I was anxious and he was judging my body language. Am I actually lost? I know exactly who I am. I just don't like talking about sex because it's boring and that's a lot of what people seem to talk about. I'm sick of people judging me because I don't want to have sex. I tried every drug and no one else does. I don't tell them to do that exact thing. They wanted me to join a sports team like wtf? Why? That makes me anxious because it's pointless to me to do something that I don't want to do to make friends. I'd rather have no friends or find friends that do things that I do like. I went to the community outreach centre when I moved here and didn't feel like doing any of the things that people do to socialize. They all seemed boring and childish. Maybe I should just be cynical. Maybe life is just what I thought it was all along when I was diagnosed with schizotypal personality disorder.. Life is a meaningless game to procreate and die. Not for me though. Maybe for most people that is all they see. |
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