[byfnvy]

I feel too unstable to continue right now. I'm never in the mood to really do anything, and it's not like I'll be able to apply any of this into a future career.. When I learn something in school, it stays in school. I know enough to do well in exams and stuff, but that's about it. I even feel that my finance classes are 'too practical' for me.

What seems to be the worst thing is the kind of relationship that exists among my coursemates. There seems to be a lot of animosity. Sometimes people get together and insult some other person, pretty viciously. Worst of all is that those people are my friends - both the victims, and the people victimizing them. Somehow I kind of understand why the latter dislike the former, but sometime it just gets cruel, and so I decided to distance myself from them, which is hard on me because they are - or possibly were - my friends too. Also, although I'm generally liked among my peers, hearing these people talk makes me think twice and wonder what they say about me when I'm not around.

The thing is, it's a bit the same on the other side. Of course the 'victims' hate their bullies too, and talk pretty nastily about them as well, and I hear both sides of it. I feel like I'm more on their side, but really, aren't they just the same?

I feel like it's not really anyone's fault.. Well, at least that none of them are bad people or anything. It seems to be integrated in the culture of the 'bullies' to gang up and make fun of certain people. And those vulnerable people, just being themselves, are, of course, simply reacting. Possibly, they may also have the same tendency of making fun of other people they consider 'weird' or unreasonable or whatever.

It's just like how this whole freakin world is screwed up. I want out. ;(

[Perna]

When you find what you want to study; you won't be able to learn it fast enough and it will stay with you everywhere. The people around you won't be what's important to you and your learning either and you won't even notice what they're doing in their world.

byfnvy, I hope you find a way through this.

[byfnvy]

thanks guys, I actually feel a lot better now.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

I know how you were feeling. I've got a dissertation to do and I've done nothing! I've been so down that I haven't been able to pick up a book at all or do any study which I should be doing for future requirements...I wish you luck

[byfnvy]

Thanks, good luck on your dissertation too! May we get the motivation to start doing our requirements!