[peacewithin]

I have this incredible fear & am wasting enormous amounts of time just trying to motivate myself to study. I took a Myers Briggs test, and a term that really stuck with me about my personality issues with studying was "paralyzing fantasies". It's soooo true! I'm trying... my books are all around me, but I can't accomplish anything.

[Fresia]

Motivation can be hard to come by especially when there is fear. I'm not sure by your post what you are afraid of with school, and I know there can be many reasons. I had a counselor that used to kindly tell me, to "feel the fear and do it anyway;" by breaking things down into smaller tasks, a page here, a couple of problems there, with breaks in between, so it is not so monumental. I know it is easier said than done but the smaller the task, it actually does become easily done. You' be amazed how much you can have accomplished in no time. This has helped me, perhaps it will you too.

Hello, peacewithin. Sometimes when procrastination, apathy or fear had a hold on me, I would make a deal with myself. If I studied or worked on a project for a predetermined period, I could reward myself with something I liked to do. Many times, this process helped me realize what concerned me was not so bad, and allowed me to do even more.

Good luck.

[(JD)]

I use that kind of reward system as well, to keep any possible "guilt" feelings about playing the computer games. (Which games are part of my distraction therapy )

Now, are you a list person at all? Even if you don't write a list, you can follow one in your head. You have your books in front of you, but do you need all of them at once? Take small steps, one at a time. Select which topic you will study first. Open that book. Don't push to do anything else right then. Go do something else. Come back and prepare your paper or computer or whatever you need to begin to study. Then go do something else. When you come back, agree to read a column, half a page or a topic/paragraph etc. If you need to make notes as you do that, do so, otherwise, leave it and go do something else. ....

Breaking "impossible" tasks down like that helps me get through things that simply MUST be done. Good wishes.

[peacewithin]

Thanks for the replies and suggestions. I started to read them, but all of a sudden just got incredibly overcome with emotion... they're tears of relief and gratitude. I don't talk to people about any of this. Noone in my life is aware of these struggles. My family knows that I took meds & went through therapy for depression a few years ago, but noone ever mentions it. I appreciate the support.