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#1
Oct 05, 2011, 02:05 PM
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I am going to college part-time as a psychology major. Given that I'm only taking two classes, sometimes it seems like it should be ridiculous that I would be stressed out, but then I remember that with my bipolar... well even facing a new day is a challenge, sometimes it's harder than other times.
I have a tendency not to deal with stress very well.  When I get stressed: I break out in hives, get headaches, get extremely irritable, experience stress-related stomach problems, suffer from insomnia, and have a tendency to become moody and short-tempered. Maybe all that can be expected. However, there is a bigger problem. First, when I get stressed I have a tendency to get very sick... so much so that it interferes with my ability to "thrive" and I can quickly become unable to perform even the most basic tasks. Second, my anxiety goes far beyond what it should be. I am more prone to panic attacks, binge eating, and avoiding social interaction - due to a fear of embarrassment. Third... and probably most distressing: because I have bipolar, stress appears to be one of the number one triggers for a manic or depressive episode. If I have an episode, my life will completely fall apart... sometimes for weeks. I know how bad these bipolar episodes can be, and my anxiety gets even worse because I'm terrified of having one and losing control... and falling behind in my school work... or even failing. It makes it worse that I have always been a perfectionist, so when I begin failing (or even getting a C) I experience extreme anxiety and depression... dehabilitating anxiety and depression. My stress is exacerbating by a second phenomenon.... my little brother is an academic prodigy. I have always been in his shadow, trying desperately to make other people recognize that I have worth as well. My jealousy of my brother and constant anxiety about failing to measure up to his extremely high bar makes things a thousand times worse. I struggle with a confusing mix of jealousy and love for him and I don't know what to do about it. Everyone says "Don't compare yourself to him," but I don't think I can help it! He is always winning awards and trophies and getting honors in front of the whole school or setting academic records. He was in the top 10 in his high school class of over 300. Me... I was in a class of over 300 as well... my ranking... 96. I know that's supposed to be good... but I didn't get recognized in front of the entire school. I didn't recieve a metal, or the Mary Strukey Award, or an academic scholarship. I have little confidence in myself, and every time I get stressed out and my grades suffer, my self-esteem falls even lower. It's a never-ending cycle. What should I do? How can I stop stress from de-railing my life? And how can I learn to value myself and stop living in my brother's shadow? HELP!
__________________
It's not about what happens to you, it's about what you do with it. 
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#2
Oct 06, 2011, 08:31 AM
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#3
Oct 09, 2011, 08:59 AM
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Hey, everyone is special in their own way. Never compare yourself to anyone. Now, stop focusing on the bad things about you. Think very carefully about what things you are good at or are proud of. I personally think, your mind is limiting you in terms of grades. Believe in your self man, makes a lot of difference. I used to have low self-esteem, everyone made me feel like I was rubbish. As soon as I started believing in myself, I did things I didn't think I was capable off, before.
For stress, trying doing exercise, I find it helps with everyday stress and lets you relieve emotions. Always try your best and believe in yourself man. If you do this I think you'll get very far. |
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#4
Oct 10, 2011, 05:44 AM
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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