[Rio_]

Not really sure where to start...I guess the best thing might be to say that I was diagnosed with melanoma late last year - the biopsy of the mole had removed all of the melanoma, but I had to have a further operation in January to make sure it hadn't spread into the surrounding skin. The operation was on my right arm and left me unable to write for a couple of weeks - I'd suspected I might have difficulties writing for a few days, but I hadn't expected the severe pain that meant I had to take a week off, and then the infection that meant I was in a sling for a further week after returning to university.

I've been back at university for a month now and am able to write and type as normal (the only thing I can't do is lift heavy objects with my right arm), but the one major course I have this year I'm struggling to keep up with. It's a design course (I'm doing a design engineering degree), and although I'd thought my tutor had initially been sympathetic to the fact that I'd taken time off, he doesn't now seem to be making any allowances for the fact that I've had two weeks less time to work than everyone else - he seems to be expecting me to "design my way out" of any problems I'm having. He emailed me a few weeks ago explicitly stating that it is my responsibility to catch up on any work I've missed.

We have a presentation in two weeks where we're expected to have a "defined design", but I'm nowhere near - the infuriating thing is that this is partly my fault for not testing a critical aspect of my design until recently, so I can't blame the recent design change I've had to make, that's set me back weeks, on the melanoma. But I think I can partly blame the melanoma on the fact that I'm finding it very difficult to get motivated and work at the level I should be working to catch up - I've been feeling this way since diagnosis, it's not there all the time but it's certainly that way at the moment. It also doesn't help that I was recently rejected for a job in the one industry that I've always wanted to work in, but when I was at the assessment centre for it and finding out more about the job I came to the conclusion that it probably wouldn't have been right for me after all...so I'm questioning the point of putting myself through the massive effort of finishing my degree when I can't see myself getting a job I enjoy afterwards.

Given that it's only two weeks until the presentation for the course I have a feeling it may be too late to talk to my adviser of studies - he's at a different institution to where my design course is, so getting the message back to the design school that I'm finding it hard to cope would probably take too long. I don't know if I can talk to my tutor because he seems to be of the attitude that if I can't do something it's because I'm "being too negative" and not working hard enough...and even if he did agree that I'm too far behind I won't be able to take the presentation at a later date because that would mean having to move the date for everyone.

So, I have no idea what to do beyond trying to get my act together and work properly, and hope that because I've made a note on my record of the melanoma (although not the lack of motivation that followed) that the exam board will take this into account when my coursework is marked... I sat an exam a week after getting diagnosed and managed to get the (not very good) result removed from my record quite quickly, but that course was only for 10 credits (the whole year is 120) and the design course is 60 so I couldn't do that in this case. One of my friends is trying to defer the year because she's struggling with stress, but the design institution doesn't want her to and instead has told her to take some time off...which is fine while she's off but will just make things worse when she comes back and has the same workload but less time, so I don't really see their logic there. So that's one reason not to defer, plus the fact that if I did I'd feel like a complete and utter failure, even more so than I do already.

Any advice/support would be appreciated, sorry it's so long...

[Perna]

Is it too late to fall back and regroup for this whole term? Sounds like you could use a little help with a redesign of your upcoming career; I would not drop out/stop with trying to get my degree as it is so close but would use getting behind/the arm problem for all it was worth to get myself a breather?

Have you looked at graphic/industrial design at all? Not as cool as cars but there's plenty of work there? You could find some niche you like a bit better and fall back a term or two and revamp?

Musical instrument design? LOL: http://www.tufts.edu/programs/mma/emid/

[Rio_]

Originally Posted by Perna

Is it too late to fall back and regroup for this whole term? Sounds like you could use a little help with a redesign of your upcoming career; I would not drop out/stop with trying to get my degree as it is so close but would use getting behind/the arm problem for all it was worth to get myself a breather?

Have you looked at graphic/industrial design at all? Not as cool as cars but there's plenty of work there? You could find some niche you like a bit better and fall back a term or two and revamp?

Musical instrument design? LOL: http://www.tufts.edu/programs/mma/emid/

Thanks for replying, Perna. I have a feeling it may be too late to ask to re-do the semester, because teaching ends at the end of March so we're nearly there. Also, because the design course lasts for two semesters I'd probably have to repeat the whole year, which I'd really like to avoid doing. What would be most useful is getting two extra weeks to make up for the time I missed last month, but I can't see how that can happen without moving everyone's presentations by two weeks as well... Also, my tutor doesn't seem to see missing class as an excuse for being behind in my work. :|

Industrial design (which I believe is the equivalent of product design here) is a possibility with my course - I could in theory go into design or engineering when I graduate - but given that it's a product design course I'm struggling most with at the moment I have a feeling that a career in product design would probably send my stress levels through the roof. I don't know the right software packages for graphic design either, unfortunately.

I'm coming to the conclusion that, given the lack of graduate work out there at the moment, I probably shouldn't be too fussy with where I want to work...but I can't bear the thought of spending the rest of my career in a job that I don't enjoy, it's worse than spending the next few months on a course that I'm getting utterly fed up with and can't see much of a point of any more. At least it's nearly over, but then what?

[Perna]

Any motivation/adrenaline to be gotten working with/around friends? Are there other people in your program you suspect are behind or having trouble that you could hang with a few hours a week so you didn't feel so isolated?

I take it everyone's presentation is due the same day? I was thinking if they were sequential, you could maybe get your turn in "time" toward the end. Any favors you can call in, get others to do parts of your design change (now that you have tested it and found it wanting :-) Even a kid typing up the results might help? I remember a 20 page paper I was still writing the morning it was due and my friend was typing it as I was writing it (back in the 1960's before computers :-)

Anyway to streamline your design so it's not as "bulky"/fancy?

For me, I'd do things in parallel. I would take something I enjoy doing (reading, surfing the Web, online communities like this one, etc.) and work on the project for a bit, then do the other I enjoyed, then back to the project, then back to the other, etc. Get a bit of drafting/rest out of my race car :-)

[Rio_]

Originally Posted by Perna

Any motivation/adrenaline to be gotten working with/around friends? Are there other people in your program you suspect are behind or having trouble that you could hang with a few hours a week so you didn't feel so isolated?

I take it everyone's presentation is due the same day? I was thinking if they were sequential, you could maybe get your turn in "time" toward the end. Any favors you can call in, get others to do parts of your design change (now that you have tested it and found it wanting :-) Even a kid typing up the results might help? I remember a 20 page paper I was still writing the morning it was due and my friend was typing it as I was writing it (back in the 1960's before computers :-)

Anyway to streamline your design so it's not as "bulky"/fancy?

For me, I'd do things in parallel. I would take something I enjoy doing (reading, surfing the Web, online communities like this one, etc.) and work on the project for a bit, then do the other I enjoyed, then back to the project, then back to the other, etc. Get a bit of drafting/rest out of my race car :-)

Thanks again, Perna. Having spoken to friends on my course I've realised I'm far from the only one who's struggling to get the work done on time, which makes me feel a bit better... I think I'm getting closer to a defined design, tested a prototype of the redesign yesterday and confirmed some issues that I'd suspected were there but hadn't been sure. So now need to work around those...my supervisor is struggling to find a solution as well, though, which is comforting in a way because at least it means it is a proper problem and not just me being thick. :P

We don't get any control over the running order - it depends on when our supervisors are free to come and listen to our presentations - but it wouldn't really matter anyway because we're expected to listen to everyone else's so I wouldn't be able to do any last-minute work on the day unfortunately. But it's not the final hand-in so I'm hoping the tutor will cope if there's anything I haven't managed to do in time for the presentation...I'm managing to work a bit better now so with any luck I'll have sorted most of it by next Friday. Fingers crossed!