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Old Mar 31, 2012, 03:36 PM
ShootingStars ShootingStars is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2012
Posts: 46
Hi, I'm in my first year of university and I made a little group of friends. Now I get the feeling they don't like me that much (just enough to hang out at school and ask me to go out for a party sometime). Anyway, it's quite far from school where they have a different dialect, so I change the way I talk and I get the feeling that it changes me as well.
Now we got some tasks we have to make in groups, teamwork. I'm teamed up with some people from that friendgroup but I tend to get the feeling I'm stupid. Like just now, it gives me so much stress waiting for their answers, Because it gets me down. But my friend already told me that she doesn't mean to be rude, she's just really stressed about it. So I say it's okay, but she does it every time. I know I'm not that smart but I can only do my best right? I'm not myself when I'm there, at school, at my room there, ... I don't know. I try to be myself, but I just can't seem to do it.

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  #2  
Old Apr 04, 2012, 01:04 PM
puzzclar's Avatar
puzzclar puzzclar is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2010
Location: Where? US
Posts: 5,621
Sounds like you like the aproval of others... which can be hard... Be you, don't change to how they talk. It doesn't help anyone. Friends have disagreements, and that's normal... People also get stressed out and react very differently to the stress. Best advice is just let it slide. Don't let it bug you. YOU are the only one that can change how you perceive them. and Stress does a lot of interesting things to people.
  #3  
Old Apr 06, 2012, 07:26 AM
DizzeeKyle DizzeeKyle is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2012
Posts: 16
Hey. I'm 21 and currently in my second year at university.

I can totally relate to what you mean. At my first year I wasn't really sure who to talk to and I felt that I was on a totally different level to most of the people there and by that I mean I felt stupid compared to everyone else. I never really had any proper friends until the end of 1st year. If I felt that I had to change myself to please someone I just wouldn't bother with them. I'd rather be by myself and be happy rather than be someone I'm not. But its like I said it took me a whole year at Uni before I finally found some people that I could relate with and get on with quite well.

I think the most important thing here is to be yourself. With new people I usually get quite uncomfortable in conversations. But once I get to know them those uncomfortable feelings go away. It's different though if you are still feeling uncomfortable several weeks or months after talking to them and your having to act differently every time your around them. If that's the case then they're obviously not right for you (and I don't mean that to sound stuck up or anything) so just edge your way slowly away from them, although I understand that it might not be easy at first but you don't want to make a big scene out of it. You'll know who your friends are, you just have to trust your gut feeling, that's what I had to do.

I hope everything works out for you! If you want to chat you can send me a message anytime.
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