[pinkmangirl]

Hi, I'm new to the thread and have never posted before, and wasn't sure where to put this, though seeing as I have OCD and not a panic disorder I thought maybe this section.

Basically I am 18 years old from Australia and have been at university for a few months now. I have always been an extremely confident public speaker and loved performing on stage, and apart from the usual nerves before you go on, have never been worried or uncalm in public speaking situations. Today at uni we had to do group presentations, and beforehand I was completely calm, right up until the point I started speaking. A few seconds in, my voice started shaking as if I was about to cry, I was stumbling over my words, my heart started racing and I started to panic and shake. I didn't have a full on panic attack, but this was the first time it had ever happened. I got through about 30 seconds worth of speaking noticeably panicked before it was another speaker's turn. I regained myself to speak my next part and convinced myself I would be calm, but the moment I started speaking again it got even worse. It reached a point where I was rushing through it as fast as I could without even registering what I was saying, my voice cracking and shaking the whole time, the thought of people watching me and seeing me break down up there making it even worse. Like I said, this wasn't a full on panic attack but it's the closest I've ever come to it and this had NEVER happened before. Now I am entirely confused as to why this may have happened, and the only things I can think of that may have had a slight contribution are:
1. It had been awhile since I had publicly spoken (though that had never been an issue before)
2. I have been smoking more marijuana lately
3. I am on roaccutane which has caused me to become more depressed and moody
4. The OCD, which is luckily not too bad, though I have had this since a young age and it has never affected this before

I'm sorry for the long post, but does anyone have any theories as to why I out of the blue lose it? I really don't want it to happen again

[Travelinglady]

Hello and welcome! I would think your suggestions as to causes might have some merit. I'm wondering, too, if this speech wasn't real important to your grade in the class, so you found yourself getting keyed up about that--or that you really don't like some class members and/or the professor?

As you say, it is sort of strange. You might want to talk to a school counselor about it, so you won't worry about it in the future.

[winter4me]

This kind of episode can come out of the blue---any of the things you mentioned could contribute to this happening. How were you afterwards? Did it pass as quickly as it came on? It is good that you do not associate this with public speaking, do not avoid doing it again.
Also. This might seem like an odd question but did the others watching you see what you felt? Did anyone say anything to you?
When young, I developed inexplicable, sudden phobias of things I had never feared. I did find that forcing myself to ignore the fears helped dispel them. (ocean, I jumped in, horses, I rode again, dogs, took a while but once I got one the fear left for good)

[pinkmangirl]

Thanks for the help guys

Yeah pretty much the moment I stopped speaking the panic ended and I just felt embarrassed, but the moment I started speaking again it's like I couldn't even speak and I had no control over myself or my voice or my body, and looking up and seeing people looking at me with these kind of concerned looks made it worse. No one said anything but they definitely noticed. They probably just thought I was someone who hated public speaking and wanted to cry as opposed to all the crazy stuff that was going on inside my mind and body.
The mark wasn't that important so I don't think it was that :/
It just sucked going home after and crying and feeling so stupid, but I have another presentation next tuesday and I guess we'll see how that goes, hopefully this was a one off!