[almakic88]

I feel I went into grad school for the wrong reasons. I discovered this past year that I have an affinity for art and illustrating, but didn't think I could make any money or consistent income doing it. I'm 25 so have been getting pressure on all sides to get a career. I entered into grad school thinking it would help me get a career and I know it will, but I can't shake the feeling that I've made a mistake and should have just followed my heart and pursued art somehow. I was trying to do the mature thing and think of the future, but I admit embarrassingly that I partly did it to please my parents and get people off my back.

The schoolwork isn't even that hard but I can't help feeling I've compromised myself in some deep way. I guess all I can do now is make the best of it.

Any encouragement or thoughts would be appreciated.

[mazing]

It can be extremely difficult to work out careers, especially when your dreams conflict with what others are saying. I would suggest for now sticking out your current degree - it can give you the stability you need for now and give you the means to pursue art and illustrating courses and life later on.

Can you use art as a hobby for now? Join a few classes, meet like minded people? Even take a few elective courses as part of your degree (depending on what it is)? That way you are still getting to spend time doing what you love.

[H3rmit]

Start selling your art.

If you can handle the selling part, you are set. Go for it. Put less effort into grad school and blast away on art on the side. Don't let your soul die like mine did.

[almakic88]

Originally Posted by H3rmit

Start selling your art.

If you can handle the selling part, you are set. Go for it. Put less effort into grad school and blast away on art on the side. Don't let your soul die like mine did.

Thanks guys...

H3rmit...I started selling some on etsy.com. Only put a couple of pieces up, don't really have a body of work yet. I'm actually illustrating a children's gothic ABC book right now for a woman. It's coming out on Halloween on Kindle.

I think I just gotta balance my energies out. I've been going full-throttle with school, to the point where I don't even eat well, sleep well...then I neglect my art and things I enjoy and it kills me...

I know what you mean by your soul dying. I've felt this way for the past year...It's been a rough year. Are you an artist too, H3rmit? What are you doing now?

~Alma

[H3rmit]

Well, Alma, as a child I did want to be an artist, since I couldn't be a veterinarian (I don't like animal research.) Turns out I hate medical things anyway. So, after a couple different language-oriented jobs, I went back to school for a BSC, because I'm interested in the environment (as it's called, or nature, as I call it) and am struggling to find a way to apply this that isn't just more service to people. I have always done visual art from time to time, painting or sketching things people need such as logos, or just expressing myself. It's very natural to me, not to say I'm outstanding at it, but people are surprised when they see what I've casually done since I never talk about it. It's just something I do. I remember taking a book of single-panel cartoons I'd done and showing them around at work because they're funny. "Where did you get these?" I made them. But they are not pro level graphic quality -- I know that.

So actually right now I just had a job disaster (that I am telling myself was a successful experiment) and I am playing around trying to do some visual art stuff as well as my part-time transcribing job. Here's the link to my job disaster/experiment thread:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/work-...k-new-job.html

The soul-sucking isn't necessarily because I didn't become a pro artist. It's just that everything seems to require becoming someone I am not, or other unbearable compromises like being poisoned by smoke even if the person isn't right in front of me.

That's great that you're scheduling time for your own pursuits instead of sacrificing everything to school. Makes me think of this demotivator:

http://www.despair.com/sacrifice-temple.html

Managing a job well means having time to take care of yourself and your personal matters, for sure. Balance.

[SeekingZen]

almakic88,

What are you getting you Masters in and when are you supposed to grad?

If you can continue with your degree, I would say go for it and finish it. With the way the job market is now it may benefit you down the road. It's so much harder to go back after you quit. Trust me!

But continue following your passion, and hopefully you can find a way to meld the two. But, I'm assuming your in an MBA prog?

What are your pieces listed under on Etsy? I that site! Maybe I could buy some of your work!

Good luck in making your decision and please let me know how I can see the art work you're selling!

SeekingZen

[BlueWisteria]

Originally Posted by almakic88

I'm 25 so have been getting pressure on all sides to get a career. I entered into grad school thinking it would help me get a career and I know it will, but I can't shake the feeling that I've made a mistake and should have just followed my heart and pursued art somehow. I was trying to do the mature thing and think of the future, but I admit embarrassingly that I partly did it to please my parents and get people off my back.

I know that feeling. I'm in my late 20s and I'm still an undergrad. I got really far into my first degree and then quit because similarly, I felt my soul die. It still feels very much dead... I've not been able to revive it. I used to write and make art all the time but that motivation died the further I got into university. I worked for a few years and now I'm back in uni for something different. It's still not what I want so I'll have to change things again... probably.

I think you should follow your heart. There's a point in your life where you have to decide if you're going to be subservient to others or live your own life. I've been trying to do the latter but I find it's near impossible in an academic environment. If you want to be an artist, be an artist. What your parents what might not be what YOU want, and that's okay. You're an individual.