[duende]

Hey guys,

I was just reading through a few threads here and OMG I can relate to some of these. So, I'm in my last semester with 8 weeks left until I finish my undergraduate degree. I should mention that I'm a returning student and have started and stopped school for, oh...over a decade

That said, I absolutely love learning. I'm passionate and yet...and yet, I have a really hard time with actually doing things to my satisfaction. So, a little about me...I'm definitely not some elitist who buys into what many people consider "prestige". That said, I have chronic frustration with not performing up to my potential. I've watched friends of mine go through good schools, get their advanced degrees, and make stable lives for themselves. Meanwhile, here I am...struggling with my bachelors. Again, I think everyone has their own necessary path to realize their (as one of my professors puts it) "trade".

So, sorry if this is a rant. I promise there's a point and question coming. Getting to my point...
with my illness, I have a really difficult time managing my moods internally. On the outside, especially in class, I appear together and focused. Oh but little do people know that I struggle and struggle with this. I mean, it's the worst when I'm either feeling really low, or when I'm dealing with internal rage. Top this off with my tendency to be a perfectionist. By this, I mean I deliberate over the first paragraph or two of a really long project for, well...a really long time. So...in the end, I wind up underachieving. And there the cycle continues.

So, in short, I struggle with moods and perfectionism, but really really want to be able to realize my potential and...well, I really need to be able to get into grad school. Ugh.

Anyone have any similar struggles with this as a student? How do you organize yourself and manage? And...do you have any way of approaching professors and showing that you're not just slacking or being lazy? Oh, and when it comes to actual organization, such as keeping folders organized, etc., it's always the same. I start out organized and bright-eyed, and by the end of the semester, everything is scattered in one or two folders. Ughh. So sick of this! So yeah, that was a lot of stuff. If you can relate to any of this, I'd love to hear your thoughts, experience/struggle, and suggestions.

Thanks!

[Travelinglady]

Hi, duende. Congrats on heading toward your degree. I suggest you seek out a counselor associated with your school or maybe the learning lab and tell them what you have told us. Maybe you could even get some counseling to help you to deal with the perfectionism. You say you have an illness. It would help folks reading here if you said what it is.

Then maybe somebody with your struggles will post here.

[sonnenschein]

On how to keep organized- I found I can't handle folders so I buy notebooks for every subject and take notes exclusively in them. I've tried binders before, but towards mid-semester I get lazy and start mixing up all my notes, am unable to find anything and eventually give up. But notebooks have worked thus far.