[Ali43555]

Hi. I am new to college and I have befriended two girls, nicole and danielle, who are also new students. They did not know each other from home, but they have classes together and I have no classes with them. We have gotten along really well and we would text each other and have a 3 way text message inbox between us. Even one weekend when danielle went home, i still hung out with nicole. We all live in separate dorms but we live close to each other. We all went home this weekend and left on good terms, but I have noticed that they have been excluding me since we have come back (i don't think its intentionally). For example, I write in our 3 way text message asking if they want to get dinner at 6:30, and only one of them answers. She says yes, but then she goes earlier with nicole without me, without even telling me she was going early, even though she made a commitment to go with me. Her reason was because she couldn't wait. That's fine, but she could have at least told me. However, then I come with my roommate to meet nicole and danielle at dinner. Things aren't awkward and they are really nice. We make plans this weekend to buy our halloween costumes. However, they told me they watched a movie together last night. They could have invited me to come. We all live in different dorms.

I really don't want to lose touch with these girls because I have enjoyed hanging out with them and have became close with them. How can I avoid this? I feel that I am constantly asking them to hang out, and they are not asking me as much anymore. Like I feel that if i stopped keeping touch with them, they wouldn't bother to make plans with me anymore.

Thanks.

[Travelinglady]

If I were you, then I might ask them what's going on. It does sound like they are moving on. Maybe one or both of them now have a boyfriend?

[completeme]

I don't think they're trying to hurt you on purpose. Since they have classes together they might be a little closer. Just try talking to them about it, they sound nice enough.

[Perna]

It is very hard to keep a threesome going. I learned that when I was 5-7 and had two best friends; we were always splitting and two people going off together and leaving the other person. But through it all two of us lived closer to one another than the third person lived near us and so that meant the third girl was left out more often just from logistics. It sounds similar to what is happening with the other two girls having classes together, they are having experiences you cannot be part of?

I would look for friends in your classes and dorm (especially dorm for going to the dining hall to eat?) and maybe just come up with a ritual event to get together at; sporting events or parties, etc. Maybe you can form a study group that meets at the library a couple nights a week? Being in different dorms in different classes too is not working in your favor for constant togetherness. I know my best friend in high school was just one dorm away in college but I mostly saw her when we were home on break or when she needed to borrow a shower because her dorm bathroom had crabs We are still friends today, 45+ years later but she lives in Arizona and I, in Maryland (the state we were in high school and college together). I predict the next time I see her in person will be in 2018 at our 50th high school reunion.