[Polyphony]

Hey everyone,

I'm a junior in college right now and am taking 19 hours of class (because my basket-weaving degree already takes six years to complete, so I'm trying to stay on track) this semester. I'm seeing a therapist at school whom I like very much. I also get along well with other people in the basket-weaving department and most of my basket-weaving professors are supportive and willing to help me out considering my recent diagnosis of Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

So here's the problem: My older sister, who has had a diagnosis of clinical depression and borderline personality disorder since she was 14 (she's now 29), has recently attempted to kill herself by an overdose of Oxycontin. She is receiving help at the local hospital and has been checked into their psychiatric unit...but this has been so distracting for me lately that I am performing poorly on homework assignments and tests. It's hard for me to stay focused on the things I need to do for class because I'm so worried about my sister.

It's also really hard for me to talk about this, so I don't know how comfortable I am with asking for extensions and understanding from my professors. There is one professor (whom I will see tomorrow) that will be very frustrated with me for not having my assignments complete...but I don't want to talk to him about it. It's hard enough to talk about it with T.

I guess what I'm wondering is, should I get over it and try to talk to them anyway? Has anyone else dealt with being distracted like this? If so, what helped you? I know that communication is generally a good idea, but I would rather find some way to fix myself than try to ask people I respect and admire for help. I guess that's part of the anxiety.

Anyway, thanks for listening. Here's to finding some effective strategies to cope. Any ideas? Anyone?

[Jan1212]

Can you explain why you call it 'basketweaving degree' - I'm asuming you can't do much with it, if you feel that way, why not transfer? I haulted my arts degree because my sister tried the same thing as well and I had to come back home. I was doing poorly anyway. It may be good to take a break, but it depends, how far are you done with the credits/semester, and if they are refundable I would get it over it. I would take a break from the courses if I was too distracted and if it was bad

I would say let them know. I let my long time teacher know about how I felt and I was surprised he was understanding of my situation but I transferred towards another degree

[Stronger]

I'm sorry, I wish I could help more. I was always the sister in the hospital causing all the pain for everyone else.
But what I can say is, it's safe to find comfort in knowing that you don't have to worry about her because she's in a safe place and in good hands. Also knowing that worrying about it won't help her (I have GAD too, I know what that's like).
Yes, there are ways to fix yourself and not ask others for help...but know that there comes a time when you really do have to speak up. Most importantly remember: Closed mouths don't get fed! I have to remind myself of that saying almost everyday.
I'm sorry that you're going through this, I hope it gets better soon.

I would really suggest reaching out to your professors and TAs as soon as possible. You don't need to tell them exactly what is going on but tell them there is some extreme family issues happening and if there was any possible extensions of deadlines. Professors for the most part are extremely understanding so while more information is better, just explain that your worries are making it extremely difficult to complete assignments on time and I'm sure they'll understand. That being said, if you write one email, you can pretty much copy and paste it to everyone else (which is what I did when I had my own family thing going on) and even though it was pretty emotionally exhausting, the professors were willing to meet with me or just gave me extensions via email. I would suggest copying both professors and TAs and see what happens. They may be able to provide more advice particular to your college/major.

Best of luck!