School and parents

curiouscat4 · Apr 16, 2014 at 02:16 PM

Although spring break just started where I'm from, it feels like its only postponing the hell to come... My grades for this fourth quarter are low, really low (I get anxious and have trouble focusing, and I black out during the day and at home when I should be doing my homework) and my mother gets on to me constantly and it makes me feel like a failure for not being good enough. I'm having trouble meeting deadlines for papers, and trouble focusing and learning in my classes. I can't move out because I have nowhere to go, and a therapist is out of the question because of money issues and my mom's prying (even though I'm 18).

Have any of you gone through similar experiences? I'm just feeling lost in all of this...

Travelinglady · Apr 17, 2014 at 10:15 PM

Hi! and welcome to Psych Central! I haven't had those experiences, but am I correct in assuming that you are in college? If so, then I encourage you to check out what counseling services might be available on campus. They might be free.

If you are in high school, then I suggest you talk to a guidance counselor.

curiouscat4 · Apr 18, 2014 at 12:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

Hi! and welcome to Psych Central! I haven't had those experiences, but am I correct in assuming that you are in college? If so, then I encourage you to check out what counseling services might be available on campus. They might be free.

If you are in high school, then I suggest you talk to a guidance counselor.

I am in high school, and I start college in the fall (everything permitting). There's not much more my guidance counselor can do, though I'll talk to her when I get back. I'm kind of a 'regular' in there, though there's not much I can discuss in detail with her without my parents getting involved (and the last time that happened, it was a nightmare and made everything worse.)
Thank you for your response and advice...

Travelinglady · Apr 18, 2014 at 01:48 AM

Do your parents not want to believe that you are having some struggles that aren't just a matter of laziness, not working hard enough, or whatever? They won't believe that you are having some other problems that need some treatment?

Perna · Apr 18, 2014 at 05:16 AM

Can you get out of the house more, go study at the library or something? I would try to be around people who weren't my family :-) Any friends you can study with?

curiouscat4 · Apr 18, 2014 at 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

Do your parents not want to believe that you are having some struggles that aren't just a matter of laziness, not working hard enough, or whatever? They won't believe that you are having some other problems that need some treatment?

To them, it's mental weakness and a dissappointment. When I self-harmed, they took me to a pastor to have a 'demon' prayed out of me, wouldn't even entertain the thought that it wasn't, that they weren't right. They are religious, and believe that it can be solved through 'God'. I've tried in the past to talk to them how I was feeling, and they trivialized it and passed it off, and my mom's used my past self-harm to justify giving me little privacy, so I 'won't do it again', and that was almost four years ago.. Basically yes, they mention getting help but balk as soon as I say yes, and say verbatim "What is so bad, so horrible, that you can't tell us? Why can't you trust us?"

curiouscat4 · Apr 18, 2014 at 09:18 AM

To Perna, I don't have any friends, save my boyfriend, that I am allowed to go over to their house. We try to as often as we can, but that ends up happening once a week, if we're lucky. I stay late at school for 'homework help', and that's basically the most I can do. She insists on going with me to the library, and anywhere else I could otherwise escape.

Travelinglady · Apr 18, 2014 at 12:25 PM

Ah, I am sorry to hear your parents' perspective. I happen to believe that God often works his healing through people, including therapists and psychiatrists.

Now that you are 18, you are legally allowed to make your own appointments, but the issue is probably paying for them. Sigh.

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Travelinglady Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Sep 2010 Location: North Carolina Posts: 48,369 (SuperPoster!) 13 23k hugs given	Apr 17, 2014 at 10:15 PM #2 Hi! and welcome to Psych Central! I haven't had those experiences, but am I correct in assuming that you are in college? If so, then I encourage you to check out what counseling services might be available on campus. They might be free. If you are in high school, then I suggest you talk to a guidance counselor.
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Travelinglady Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Sep 2010 Location: North Carolina Posts: 48,369 (SuperPoster!) 13 23k hugs given	Apr 18, 2014 at 01:48 AM #4 Do your parents not want to believe that you are having some struggles that aren't just a matter of laziness, not working hard enough, or whatever? They won't believe that you are having some other problems that need some treatment?
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Perna Pandita-in-training Member Since Sep 2006 Location: Maryland Posts: 27,289 (SuperPoster!) 17 550 hugs given	Apr 18, 2014 at 05:16 AM #5 Can you get out of the house more, go study at the library or something? I would try to be around people who weren't my family :-) Any friends you can study with? __________________ "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
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curiouscat4 Junior Member Member Since Mar 2013 Location: USA Posts: 6 11	Apr 18, 2014 at 09:18 AM #7 To Perna, I don't have any friends, save my boyfriend, that I am allowed to go over to their house. We try to as often as we can, but that ends up happening once a week, if we're lucky. I stay late at school for 'homework help', and that's basically the most I can do. She insists on going with me to the library, and anywhere else I could otherwise escape.
	Reply With Quote

Travelinglady Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Sep 2010 Location: North Carolina Posts: 48,369 (SuperPoster!) 13 23k hugs given	Apr 18, 2014 at 12:25 PM #8 Ah, I am sorry to hear your parents' perspective. I happen to believe that God often works his healing through people, including therapists and psychiatrists. Now that you are 18, you are legally allowed to make your own appointments, but the issue is probably paying for them. Sigh.
	Reply With Quote