[Adamk01]

So I just got my associates degree and finished that up at a community college. Last semester I took 5 courses, and got all A's and B's.

Now i'm taking classes at Harvard Extension school, and my problems are eating me alive.

I have Spasticity in my legs, and it causes me to not walk normally and have a lot of pain, especially in my back. It's hard alone struggling with that and the mental aspect of it too (everyone looks at you, and you sort of feel like a clown and embarrassed by it)

Then the worst of it, my brother has bipolar and ocd, and he is the definition of domestic violence. He yells, yells and yells. If he doesn't yell he complains. Oh what has this done to me mentally over the years. The battle to not sleep right, have this physical condition, and to mentally beat and traumatized is brutal on me. I still manage to bite my tounge, and look at things as to not really have an excuse for anything, and that's the way life is. I have gotten so far in life to this day, for all the burdens that I have taken and gone through. My life has been hell, and a challenge.

Right now, besides having I believe ptsd from the abuse (my brother beat my father once, threw glass at them, tore up the house) my insomnia is really bad. Being tormented mentally and physically is really having a toll on me. I missed my midterm even though i studied for the whole week prior, and I ended up staying awake for over 24 hours then sleeping 4 hours and getting up 40 minutes before my exam and had brain fog. I'm lucky that my midtem doesn't count if I do better on the final, but the thought of this happening again is scary.

I need motivation, I sort of wish I had a supportive gf, but sadly i'm single. i'm turning 23 soon. I work my butt off every day, and I really, really just hope things do get better.

[BeaFlower]

Hi Adamk01, and welcome to PC. I'm sorry for your physical and family problems. Surely they doesn't helpyou concentrating on study. But if you failed the exam I think that it could also be because you didn't sleep enough and only studied. You also need rest to can concentrate and remember things. I'd suggest that you try to take more pauses during study.
About your brother, probably he needs psychological help. Could you suggest it to your parents, if you are afraid to talk to him? If you live with him, maybe it would be better to go to stay in college or to take an apartment with some friends, so you could feel more relaxed and safe.
Wish you all the best