[qwerty_kid]

A couple semesters ago I lost the greatest friend I ever had, who also happened to be my animation professor and advisor. I was "the best student he ever had" (his words) and he consistently praised my work. He chose me to join him in supporting our school's animation program at the state capital. For once I could overcome my depression. That is, until it got increasingly worse. I had no friends other than this professor and I was at a loss for what to do. Suddenly I made the rash decision to confide in him and tell him everything that was going wrong in my life, including my depression. Initially, he did everything to support me. He invited me out to eat with him and even meet his family. I asked if we could do it again sometime, to which he hesitantly replied, "sure." Everything seemed to be going right for once.

Suddenly, he broke all contact with me. He never replied to any of my emails, no matter how small. I confronted him about it personally and he said, "he didn't want to be friends, but we could still maintain a professional relationship." I was certainly bummed (understatement), but I knew it was ultimately his choice in what he wanted to do. So I sent him emails about animation I was working on, and left it at that. In time, he stopped responding to those too. After a while, I couldn't take it and sent him messages demanding why he didn't want to acknowledge me at all. I even asked another teacher who said he probably didn't feel comfortable talking to someone with depression (even though he seemed fine with inviting me to his house a few months before). I took this fall semester off because I was too depressed to reenter school after everything that happened. The last email I sent him asked if he would be willing to meet with me as an advisor to set up classes for the next semester. Again, no response. It was only through another person that he said he no longer wanted to be my advisor either. He officially severed the last connection we had with each other.

Before anyone asks, there was never any inclination that this was a romantic relationship because there were no "romantic" feelings involved. We were friends, plain and simple. My therapist suggests I refrain from contacting or even seeing him on campus. I know I have to respect his wishes to never talk again.

But where do I go from here? I have no friends in college now. I'm completely alone. I feel simultaneously angry and hurt that someone would mislead me into a friendship like that. My suicidal feelings only get worse now. How will I survive school after all this?

[kaliope]

i am sorry that this has happened to you. it is unfortunate that you opened up and shared your feelings and recieved such a callous response. i had something similar happen. a teacher who even called me in to make sure i was ok based on my papers which reflected my mental illness. she was so supportive of me. but then as i deteriorated, she totally withdrew her support of me and stopped talking to me. it devastated me. i was rejected from the masters program, i know because of my breakdown. she was one of the main decision makers. here it is seven years later and i have been back to the school at least once a year for an event. i supervise students in the program. she completely ignores me when i say hello to her. i dont know what happened.

can you find peers to be friends with? most schools have free counseling programs, some several as there are psychology programs and mft programs, that need practice to complete their programs. check into it.

[Beowulf]

That is a hard thing to go through, the falling out of a meaningful relationship can feel like the end of the World. Fortunately, it is not though, and you still have what you gained from your conversations and encounters. I know that sounds cheesy, but I think it is true. Perhaps it would be a good thing to branch out to other students, and find someone you can trust. I am in school also, and have trouble with that myself. In fact, I do not think I have any real friends there...not that I trust completely anyway. I have found that they are easier to come by outside of the classroom. I am new on this site, but you are not alone. You have all of us here, and we are your friends because we understand. I think you can walk onto that campus with more strength than ever before, and show that you are unstoppable. You can do this.

[Toaster123]

It must be very hard for you at this very moment in time, something similar just happened to me a few days ago.
It must feel like your whole world is collapsing
You say you have no friends in college...just keep your head held high knowing it wasn't your fault as to why he doesn't talk to you any more and I guess you should keep away from him....it would be best to avoid him as it would help to recover quicker
Try not to think about what happened, i know this may be hard but every time you do think about it, it may hurt you more