[kim_johnson]

I only got 2/15 for my last test. Pretty... Hopeless, really. But then... He asked us a sequence of questions that were worth 1 mark each, and he didn't award half marks. So... Even if you did some things right... Convert your units. Identify the correct formula. Rearrange the formula appropriately. If you didn't manage to get the right answer out of your calculator, I think you were stuffed.

Anyway... Exam tomorrow. I... Haven't been able to study. Can't seem to find the motivation for it. Mostly because things feel hopeless. I really don't have a hope in doing the work he sets. He said something in the revision session about 'not wanting us to just be relying on maths' but I mumbled that 'I *can't even* do the maths'. It isn't like I already know the maths and I'm wanting him to teach me the physics. I have to painstakingly teach myself the freaking maths along the way since he won't teach us... And the problem is that the problems he sets always requires NEW MATHS. I don't even get to the point of knowing whether they require new or creative or whatever physics... Because I get boggled by the maths. So... He's the one making it about the maths... Making it about something that he refuses to teach.

Which pisses me off, immensely.

Part of what is hard is that things feel like they are starting up for this year, already... First semester back... One of the course guides is out, already, and I'm wanting to get most of the readings done... I'm marking up my wall planner with my assessments and getting out my highlighters and scissors... Have already begun personalizing my notes / incorporating them. I'm so very excited about my work this year... This is it... I need to do really well... And I'm all set... As set as I can be...

I've just got this physics exam tomorrow. Sigh.

The first guy was good. I will do some work on triangles tonight. Hopefully I can scrape a pass for this class because I will feel embarrassed if I fail. But I simply don't see any way that study will help me answer any of that second guys questions at all so... Demoralised. Pointless... How the hell does he get to teach?

Good luck, kim.

[tradika]

Good luck!

[kim_johnson]

Thanks, guys. This is... The most under-prepared I've been for a test since I started University...

I think... It is good for me. To have learned something of how good people can struggle with motivation sometimes. How good people can... Simply not be able to do the work sometimes.

I think it has made me feel... More humble. And more empathetic to other people's struggles. Which...

Is a very valuable thing to have learned, indeed.

And I know rather a lot more about triangles than I'll probably ever need to... And... Looking through my biology notes... All of the equations seem... Manageable, now. Whereas before they struck the fear of God into me. So...

Get through this... And I'm going to watch some Season One of "Suits" to look after myself tonight... I've heard it is pretty good...

I hope the exam went well I for one completely bombed the hell outta my current Chem. (AP-level) test for the first time~ I'm sure you did better than me, LOLZ

[alicetailor]

How was your exam Kim ? I hope you did well. Why don't you join tuition classes if you are facing such problems.

[kim_johnson]

Hi,

Thanks guys. It is over now. Phew.

Today... I had a meeting with government benefit people to ask them... If they would help me purchase some compression clothing. Which... Really helps me function. But is... Really expensive. The good stuff... With good compression... Quality fabric... Marketed for elite athletes, actually... Anyway... I asked for 3 sets and they said they could do 2. Which is... Wonderful. Really. Very. I feel... Very lucky. And also... Like this indicates that they have some kind of faith in me. Trust in me. Something...

I have to be careful about the last part of chemistry where we do kinetics and Ph and... Equations... Basically... Fortunately... There are good tutorials on Khan academy... And the uni has a good online learning environment, too. And I have a texbook with heaps of problems (and a solutions manual). So... This is it... This time next year... I'll either be starting medicine properly... Or law... Or... I'll be a crumpled heap of mess... I think things are... Going to be okay. Yeah.