[CherryBerry9339]

There's a couple different things with this so I hope it make sense..

This is my first year of high school, and towards the beginning of the year there was this teacher who I thought was pretty cool, let's call him Mr.P. A couple months in (November-December) he started saying weird and rude things. It was rather off-putting, so I wanted to discuss it with him and let him know how I felt about things he had said. Well, that didn't end too well. We didn't talk at all for a couple months. Now that I'm taking his class, we kind of have to talk. Anyway, towards the beginning he was kind of cut off (which I was fine with). A couple days after starting his course, I ended up having a really bad anxiety attack, which a couple of the other teachers knew about. I have a feeling that the others know what happened, because all of a sudden they're being extremely nice, including Mr.P. He's always telling me to relax and trying to give me reasons not to stress about things. He's making a lot of things easier for me, which I do appreciate, but at the same time it bothers me. I don't want kindness just because the fact that I have anxiety is known and that's what it feel like, as all of it started after that incident. Continuing on, I was talking to a couple of my friends who took his class last semester and they said he's giving me obvious special treatment (with making things easier). Something that bothers me, and I can't seem to shake the thought, is that every time we talk I feel as though he's going to go back to being a jerk. It makes our discussions, for me, nearly unbearable. I'm always bracing myself ready for an insult or back handed comment. Constantly worrying about this is adding onto the anxiety and I don't really know what to do about it. Right now I'm just trying to ignore it, but people are confused by that as they believe the exact same thing to happen.
Does anyone have advice or something? I'd appreciate it greatly

[kim_johnson]

It doesn't make a great deal of sense to me. He's too nice, he's too not nice, he's too nice...

How is your work coming along? Are you learning the content you are supposed to be learning? This might seem surprising, but that is actually what matters. The better you do in your work / the more you learn the better you set yourself up for later in life.

I'm sorry that you aren't getting the gentle loving attention that you need. I remember when I thought that teachers were fairly much my only hope for that... Is there a school counselor or someone like that who you can talk to who can help you focus on your studies?

[Agarwaen]

Ah, man. Counselors are golden. Not the psychological type, but the one you talk to about your req's and all that. Don't know if it's the same, but I would go in to a class on the first day. If I didn't like it, I'd go see the counselor. I'd tell him that the teacher was going to bore me to tears, and I had to get out. The man would switch me around and it was all good.

Of course, there were some classes I couldn't avoid. Had a freshman history teacher that liked to show movies, and then patrol the room for kids falling asleep. If you did, he'd grab your chair and shake it up and down, startling the bejeezus out of you, not to mention the embarrassment. He was also the high school football coach. When I tried out for the team and saw him, having missed the entire summer deal, I lasted a week. Too bad. I was good. Maybe it was ego, maybe it was pride, maybe it was just that I didn't feel like taking abuse twice a day for years.

But then again, I've always had problems with bullies. And that's what he was. As far as I am concerned, getting through high school is about navigating through the right classes and teachers. Luckily, I had a great counselor, otherwise I probably would have stopped going completely at some point. (My parents would tell you otherwise!) ;-)

I agree with Argarwen, the school Counselor would be the best for this. Or if anything, bring this up to the administration. If you're not having trouble with the coursework (or it seems like he is being too lenient and you feel marginalized/not learning enough?) then his switch in attitude sounds kinda unprofessional. A teacher is to be fair to his students, but also understand when certain needs must be accommodated.

The Counselor might be a good mediator, too. I know my high school one was actually pretty good at making sure teachers and students both understood each other's limitations and needs. But that really is a case by case basis.

And who knows? Maybe Mr. P has just never been really exposed to someone with anxiety and doesn't quite know how to handle it? Sometimes not everyone has the tools and skills to understand sometimes.

Anyway, I hope it all works out! And if it comes to it, just remember, you might only have to deal with him for the school year and after that, hopefully no more.

[CherryBerry9339]

Thank you all for the suggestions and kind words, things are a lot better now!