[chunkymonkey555]

We'll my background is bipolar with anxiety. I may or may not attend this college because I've been hearing a lot of bad crime ie assault, sexual assault happens frequently around the perimeter of the campus and even sometimes on it. I dug myself into an anxiety hole that's telling me I'm not going to be safe, something may happen to me, what if I was really busy studying and stressed with finals on top of that deal with safety issues with the school. Also I am a girl. My mom forced me to go twice with her to make me feel less scared, we'll so far not too scared anymore, but still have anxiety over having to go there on a regular basis. Recently uped my meds and got some anti anxiety medicine that is helping some. I have about a week to kinda of make a decision because I have a counseling appointment then and I have to go alone which is making me a little scared. Should I wait a few more days to decide I want to go? Or should I just feel an sense of keeping my guard up and bring some pepper spray. Crime happens often, but the times I was there, it was only friendly looking students walking around. I'm not that great at making friends so I'm worried about being singled out as well. They have a police escort service that can walk me from my classroom to bus stop or parking place so that's one way to calm my nerves. My anxiety over this has steadily went down, so I feel like I may be able to go to this school. I'm kind of excited over the major , it seems like a lot of fun but a lot of hard work, that will also take my mind off the crime and feelings of being attacked anywhere at any time minus in the class. Thanks all in all should I even go to this school? Or wait a year for another college that I'm sure will add me, that researched has a heavy police duty you can see them everywhere on campus.

[Crazy Hitch]

I'm sorry that you're living in a place where you're having to make a decision of safety over education.

There is some glimpse of hope in that you've stated that your anxiety is going down.

You sound sensible and I don't believe you'd knowingly put yourself in a position of danger if you go there.

I'm just wondering where you are from with the mention of police escourt services. That's a little unnerving I have to admit.

At the end of the day you need to make a decision that is going to serve in your best interests. If you think you'd be able to put your fears aside and focus on your studies, good. It depends on whether one outweighs the other.

Good luck because this is a hard decision.

[chunkymonkey555]

San Jose, ca in that downtown particular part of the city is crime ridden. Thanks for saying it's a hard decision, my family doesn't take into account my mental health background and think I'm just being dramatic. I talked to an psychiatrist and he said maybe it's not the right time to go to college, I do have other options so I'll think about. Thank you for answering.

[Crazy Hitch]

Always keep those options open. You always need to take into account where your mental health is when making decisions. If someone hasn't walked in your shoes they won't comprehend the influencing factors behind your decision. But put that aside for now. Do what your heart says is best for you.

[chunkymonkey555]

My heart says go for it, but my gut says no

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by chunkymonkey555

My heart says go for it, but my gut says no

Oh dear.

Let us know what decision you ultimately make.

We'd like to support you on your journey.

Wishing you well.

[reticentrenegade]

Have you thought about looking into online college at all? I know that that can be a great option for people who have trouble going to traditional college--in your case that seems like more of a difficulty with the environment itself and not with you! If you have a counselor at school or a therapist maybe talk with them about other options? Going to college has been wonderful for my mental health overall, but I have a large group of friends that can watch out for me--being alone on campus is still frightening for me, as my anxiety still exists, but the coping mechanisms I have developed have helped a bit. However, college campuses are not for everyone, and especially if your mental health isn't at its best it can be a lot to take on. Waiting a bit to try college might also be an idea.

Please keep us updated on what you decide to do! Best wishes!

[guilloche]

Hi ChunkyMonkey555

What did you decide to do? Did you make it to the school? I see that the post was from over a month ago, so I'm wondering if you've already made a decision, or if you're still considering it?

And, I wanted to share my experiences. I went to a school that is also in the downtown area of a large city, and it's an open campus (no gates/fences or anything). So, we did have crime, and when I went for orientation, I was explicitly warned not to walk around by myself late at night (I'm female). Sometimes people would wander onto campus and attack women in the sorority houses, for example (yikes).

First, the campus was really safe during the day when classes were going on. It was always crowded with students and employees (professors, administrative staff). There was really nothing scary at all during the day, and I felt totally safe going to/from classes, to/from the library, walking around, etc. Even alone. It was literally not a problem.

The things I did to stay safe:
- Never walk alone after dark. Walk with friends or take a campus shuttle. My school had a shuttle that ran after the regular bus had shut down. You could call them for a ride after hours, and they actually went off-campus as well (to a certain distance). You should see whether your school offers this. For example, if I was in the computer lab late at night, I could call and they'd come get me, and drive me back to my dorm.

- Make friends. You mentioned being bad at this. So was I. But, I joined a few different groups, and found people that were friendly and had similar interests. College is the BEST place for this, honestly (it's so much harder when you're out of school) because you have a high likelihood of finding people with similar interests/backgrounds to you. Either others studying the same subject, or people with similar interests if you join a club. Some of your friends will have cars... also helpful for getting rides late at night. (I had a bad reaction to something on campus when I went to the track in the evening with a friend - my throat started to swell closed! Luckily, a friend of mine in the same dorm had a car and was able to quickly and safely get me to the infirmary!)

- Pepper spray is a good idea. You could also see if your school has any self-defense classes for women, or martial arts classes. I did martial arts, and while I was not *great* at it (soooo not my thing!) it was a ton of fun and very empowering, plus I made more friends there!

- Pay attention to your surroundings, don't do things that will leave you unable to think clearly/protect yourself (binge drinking/drugs), be careful to not take drinks from strangers, etc. Avoid circumstances that make you feel nervous (i.e. listen to your gut) and be smart.

Obviously, this isn't 100% foolproof. But, I'd just really HATE to see your fears get in the way of getting an education, since a good education will help you for the rest of your life - it will help you grow as a person, create a good life for yourself, and open up doors that you can't even see right now.

If you really, truly feel that the risk is too high - I would honor that, but challenge you to think of other ways you can get an education. Online degrees, as Reticentrenegade mentioned, are one way. Looking at other schools that may be in safer locations is another.

Good luck!

[chunkymonkey555]

Yeah I decided to go to the school, and I've been feeling really safe, lots of campus security. Thanks for the reply

Originally Posted by guilloche

Hi ChunkyMonkey555

What did you decide to do? Did you make it to the school? I see that the post was from over a month ago, so I'm wondering if you've already made a decision, or if you're still considering it?

And, I wanted to share my experiences. I went to a school that is also in the downtown area of a large city, and it's an open campus (no gates/fences or anything). So, we did have crime, and when I went for orientation, I was explicitly warned not to walk around by myself late at night (I'm female). Sometimes people would wander onto campus and attack women in the sorority houses, for example (yikes).

First, the campus was really safe during the day when classes were going on. It was always crowded with students and employees (professors, administrative staff). There was really nothing scary at all during the day, and I felt totally safe going to/from classes, to/from the library, walking around, etc. Even alone. It was literally not a problem.

The things I did to stay safe:
- Never walk alone after dark. Walk with friends or take a campus shuttle. My school had a shuttle that ran after the regular bus had shut down. You could call them for a ride after hours, and they actually went off-campus as well (to a certain distance). You should see whether your school offers this. For example, if I was in the computer lab late at night, I could call and they'd come get me, and drive me back to my dorm.

- Make friends. You mentioned being bad at this. So was I. But, I joined a few different groups, and found people that were friendly and had similar interests. College is the BEST place for this, honestly (it's so much harder when you're out of school) because you have a high likelihood of finding people with similar interests/backgrounds to you. Either others studying the same subject, or people with similar interests if you join a club. Some of your friends will have cars... also helpful for getting rides late at night. (I had a bad reaction to something on campus when I went to the track in the evening with a friend - my throat started to swell closed! Luckily, a friend of mine in the same dorm had a car and was able to quickly and safely get me to the infirmary!)

- Pepper spray is a good idea. You could also see if your school has any self-defense classes for women, or martial arts classes. I did martial arts, and while I was not *great* at it (soooo not my thing!) it was a ton of fun and very empowering, plus I made more friends there!

- Pay attention to your surroundings, don't do things that will leave you unable to think clearly/protect yourself (binge drinking/drugs), be careful to not take drinks from strangers, etc. Avoid circumstances that make you feel nervous (i.e. listen to your gut) and be smart.

Obviously, this isn't 100% foolproof. But, I'd just really HATE to see your fears get in the way of getting an education, since a good education will help you for the rest of your life - it will help you grow as a person, create a good life for yourself, and open up doors that you can't even see right now.

If you really, truly feel that the risk is too high - I would honor that, but challenge you to think of other ways you can get an education. Online degrees, as Reticentrenegade mentioned, are one way. Looking at other schools that may be in safer locations is another.

Good luck!