[kgibson45]

I am wondering if whether or not I am pursuing the wrong path. I was originally a math major seeking to be an actuary but could not get past my real analysis class, I had to drop it, I am horrible with proofs, and thus came the idea of forgoing a degree and just taking exams. However when I went to class today we were given a quiz and the kid next to me was able to answer every question over the new material, we had never seen these questions before, I could not answer any of them, I am with out a doubt the biggest moron in my class two of 5 in my class have a gpa of 3.9 or higher. In my online class for the P exam, 9 out of ten times during the lecture I can't answer the problem before seeing the solution. I am 23, I feel like an idiot, and changing paths is a daunting idea... I just quit marijuanna, alcohol abuse 2 days ago. I am on way too much medication, I take vyvanse, omeprazole,strattera, Quentiapiene,( alprozalm and oxycodone, for refereeing), 3 benedryl and 3 melatonin every night to sleep...and i suffer from adhd...I don't know what to do...Could my brain be overloaded from substances? Possibly.

Possible trigger:

I have honestly contemplated suicide for being a failure.

[Skeezyks]

Hello kgibson: I can't really advise you with regard to this. It is certainly true, in my experience, that psych med's have an impact on a person's general brain function... beyond what they're actually being taken for. And then when you throw marijuana & alcohol into the mix it just makes everything that much more complicated. I'm certainly no expert with regard to these sorts of things. But, from my perspective, it's no wonder you're having the problems you're having.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[Talthybius]

I see no reason why you couldn't pass exams and be happy if you didn't have all these problems.

If I were either on drugs, on heavy medication, or depressed, I would also fail exams.

I mean, some people are depressed even though their life is going perfectly. In that case, I have no good answer. But if things are rough and you feel bad, that's how it ought to be. I know how it feels to be really depressed. But there are people whose life is as perfect as it could be, and they still feel terribly depressed. For them I have no good advice.

Your life sounds like it has a lot of potential for improvement. I hope you see you are in a vicious cycle. You feel bad because you do bad in college, and you cannot possibly do good at college because you are feeling bad. I hope you also see that this is not a permanent thing. I hope you can see that the level you are performing at now cannot possibly be the peak or limit of your ability.

You are at an age where psychological problems aren't uncommon. That means that when you are older, regardless of if you are successful in your current goals, you will naturally start to feel less bad. If that means you will automatically also be really happy, I don't know. It might be that your affect mellows and your lowest lows aren't quite that low.