Need Help

Hi everyone. I was never bad in math, but i wasnt exceptionally good either, i used to score well in it, but the last two years of my high school i really sucked at math. It could be a number of factors, i was going through a lot of personal problems, and since im not like naturally good at it, the consequence of not paying enough attention to it, just made me suck phenomenally bad at it. And the it was followed by shame and panic at not being able to recover my math , that reinforced the cycle of not being able to learn because of anxiety and then perform badly. I passed math in high school and never looked back at it. I had given myself up as a dunce in math. It has been almost a decade, since then but now im back in a situation where i need to brush up my math for giving the GRE exam.
A lot has changed with me as ive grown up, ive become calmer and stronger, and i thought that i could deal with lifes ****, ive learnt to control my anxiety to a limit. But then recently , taking the math classes again for GRE, and beng confronted with High school math again , just brings those teenage fears, and feelings of worthlessness and shame to me. Since i am older now, i can at least analyse my feelings now and understand why its happening. But that has not helped me in overcoming my fears and performance anxiety. Im very anxious in every class, and the attitude of the teacher is not helping. But ive already paid for my classes. Well, thats beside the point. The thing is i wonder if can be reasonably good at math again , without my brain freezing with anxiety.
I cant really see a counsellor or a therapist right now, because i have no means, but i really want to be able to have the strength to deal with this again. This feeling of teenage anxiety in adult life wreaks havoc in my life and makes me unstable. I made another post somewhere regarding the confusions pertaining to my emotions , and i feel its all connected somehow. I dont want to unravel now , that i have to learn a new discipline all over again.

I'm horrible at math, always have been. I had a very difficult time with it in college.

If you don't already do it, try some mindfulness techniques to calm you and help you focus, and/or relaxation and meditation music to curb your anxiety.

Hope you find relief!

The only way to win over your weaknesses is to face them. Since you have become older and smarter I would ask you to try and do mathematics. Take it just as another subject and not something that you fear

a few years ago I was having quite a similar issues. my depression and anxiety got the best of me. i even used a write my paper for me website but one day i just decided to take everything in my own hands and try to do the job on my own, though i did suck at it, it tried my best. the first thing i did was joining this course on how to learn math. not sure whether you can still take this course but you can inquire whether you can enroll. also i love MIT open library -- here are some high school math related courses
god luck

Math does come easier to some better than others. But for me, I find that self-study for math is a lot easier. Read over the concept before your class, and so when you go to class, it is not about learning the concept for the first time, it's about asking questions of things you do not understand or reinforcing the learning you did previously. Math is not a class about memorizing, it's about concepts. If you understand why things are the way they are, you will do well. Practice the problems at home. If you struggle with something, look up the concept on YouTube. There are many YouTube channels out there dedicated to math help. If you would like, I can do my best to help you with some math help, as I am an engineering major, though I don't have a lot of free time. Best of luck.

For me, high school math was really hard. I wouldn't have survived if not for a generous teacher who offered to provide me with some after-school one-on-one help. For me, it was a lot about just reinforcing concepts. I would have to practice and practice similar problems until I got the hang of it. I learned that it just took longer for it to stick for me. My best advice is to practice it and eventually, you will begin to see similarities between problems and be able to more quickly identify what steps you need to take in order to solve the problem.

It also helped to have a teacher who would tell me repeatedly that people learn in different ways and at different paces and to stop comparing myself to everyone else. A lot of my math anxiety came from a lack of self confidence. So it's good to remind yourself, when that anxiety starts to kick in, that just because something doesn't seem to be making sense does not mean that you are incapable; it just means that you have to work a little bit harder.

Just to add a perhaps somewhat different perspective: I'm good at math, I enjoy it a lot and I also teach it. And during my years I've seen many students start from something similar to what you're describing. I've had students who, when they first came to me, was this close to bursting into tears from frustration when I was explaining something. But in the end, I've seen many of them punch through it, not only to the point where they passed the exam but also started finding the subject itself kind of interesting. So yes, it's possible to do. But I'll also tell you this:

On the one hand, work hard and demand discipline from yourself. Math is a difficult subject and it takes considerable effort to build skill in it. But also, don't forget to be kind to yourself. It's not your imagination and it's not a personal shortcoming on your behalf - it is a difficult subject. Even for me, a supposed natural, a lot of the time when I'm studying is spent in a state of perplexed confusion and having to read/practice the same stuff several times.

Don't beat yourself up for having to repeat the same thing again and again. Don't hesitate to spend some time every day to go back and start again at an earlier chapter. As long as you work at it and do your honest best, you NEVER need to feel ashamed when asking questions. Personally, I like to point out (especially for first year students) that I'm impressed by the courage of students who pipe up to ask questions in front of the class.

You're not worthless for having troubles in your math studies. You're brave for taking it on despite your apprehension and I salute you for doing so. Keep at it and just know that what you're doing is taking part in a grand adventure of thought, exploration and discovery that humans have spent thousands of years developing. It's a lot work, but it's well worth the effort.