Hello, I have written here before about my problems with my thesis advisor.

I have trust issues, problems because he's a nice guy and I have father issues, and also problems with the academic department, since it's small and I am paranoid about all the professors gossiping about my problems. My version of events is that there was quite a lot of gossip and push back over me doing a thesis, and I have been thinking that this reminds me of my parents calling the authorities on me (still so confused over this) and also working with my school to force me into therapy. I think this is why I am so frozen in this academic situation. I do not feel free to ask questions.

Last semester I was unable to communicate with my thesis advisor at all about my thesis. I made little to no progress. Over the summer, I studied at a snail's pace, but I think I have refined what I want to say, and want to make sure any imminent failure is due to academic issues, not personal issues.

I want to communicate better with my thesis advisor so that I don't feel so isolated within this department. I also hope that he can help me. I feel like he is ignoring me, or being so careful with me that I feel that he is ignoring me, and in this department, I think I need someone on my side. This will be hard because I don't want to let him see what I've written. I don't know why, but I find my work very private, and I don't trust him at all.

My mistake last semester was that he was too lenient and I mistook that as him not wanting to see my work.

My solution currently is that I'm drafting a game plan for the semester: what I have now, what I need to do, my goal for the thesis, a timeline. I've also written down that I need to communicate with him better, and why I have been having trouble with that. I wrote that I hoped this could help us. I also will ask him how he has advised other students in the past.

I understand that as this is an independent study, my thesis advisor does not necessarily know much about my topic. But it would be good to work with him rather than feel like I'm at home again, waging war with my father. I plan to share my game plan and candid thoughts with my thesis advisor.

I welcome your thoughts.

[Travelinglady]

I think you should definitely share your plan and ideas. As you say, it might be your own issues that are the main problems. He's not going to track you down. It's no skin off his nose if you have to leave the program because you didn't get your thesis done on time.

(I have a Ph.D., so I know about academia. )