[RandomGuy1997]

Hi

I'm a 20 year old studying in a reputable college where competition is very high. I have big ambitions and chose my major entirely out of an interest for it, rejecting other easier and more attractive majors to do so.

Until college, I always was an excellent student, always in the top ten percent of any class. However, in college, I can barely get myself to score at the class average. I know for certain that it has nothing to do with my intelligence, because I know I am perfectly capable of even topping my class in college, but for some reason, I am unable to put in the hours required to do that.

For about a year now, I get panic attacks close to exams, something which never used to happen before. Even though I have enough time to finish studying for the exams, I end up wasting hours if not days, or sometimes weeks of time doing completely random things like browsing youtube, playing video games or translating random words from somali to english (true story, happened the night before an exam). Time I could have otherwise used to comfortably finish everything I had to do for the exam, and had time left over for some relaxation. Even sitting here now, 7 hours from an important exam, I feel completely detached from everything, like the exam doesnt matter. If I let myself, I'd probably not even wake up to go write the exam. I don't know why or when this started happening, but it's not me. I have started to question whether I even want to be here, doing this major, which btw, I chose entirely out of my interest in the subject.

When I do muster up the will power to sit down and study, I can never focus for more than an hour. After that, no matter how many breaks I take, I just don't get into 'the zone', and the rest of the day is wasted. This is also not me, because I am usually a very strong willed person.

I am at my wits end, and the stakes are high because I am nearing the end of my 4 year course, and I either need to graduate with a good CGPA or give up on my ambitions and find something else to do.

Please help. Thank you

[Miswimmy1]

I don't have any real words of wisdom for you (sorry), only that I totally understand where you're coming from and can relate. I am in the exact same situation.

Are you in therapy? You basically just verbalized what I am dealing with right now. I've been talking to my therapist about how to move forward when I feel at such a loss. He's had some ideas but it's a work in progress.

[mcrump]

Hey,

I wanted to add my two cents into the mix because I have been exactly where you are. I decided to go back to school at 28 years old and I'm happy I did. First time I went to college I flunked out and had a nervous breakdown. This time I'm in a program I really enjoy but I am the same with exams. I'm an overthinker so I am always second guessing every decision I make during an exam which makes my anxiety on studying for the exam that much worse.

The best advice I could give you which has worked for me is to study as you go through your semester and study in small increments. For example, I try to review my notes and chapter summaries each week if I can. I then have an app on my phone called Brain Focus where I schedule time for each course I need to work on or study for. Most times I can handle 30 mins on and 30 mins break. Usually during my break I do something fun, like a hobby. For me I love to crochet/knit so I do that while watching a 30 minute sitcom.

School is hard period. But don't be so hard on yourself. Baby steps will take you much further than if you try to push yourself to do too much too fast. I wish you the best of luck with your studies and I hope my experience/advice helps you even just a little