Returning to University with mental illness

Hi everyone,

I am really struggling with University! I am over thirty years old and I am surrounded by youngsters who seem to so easily manage. I breaks my heart knowing that I am not an A student nor will I ever be.

I am having a really hard time with projects. It takes me FOREVER to write and bring ideas to fruition. I seem to spend so much time on the projects and nothing seems to get done. I am trying not to be so hard on myself but I am truly struggling.

On top of all this I have my PTSD and trauma stuff in the background, low self-esteem, social anxiety and so much more.

How am I supposed to do this? Is this a normal stage of growth in University? I have quite post-secondary in the past and I don't plan to quite now, but this is really hard!

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

I understand your struggles. Don't give up: it may be harder for you compared to other students, but that doesn't mean that you can't make it It may just take more time. If you really can't make it, perhaps you can wait for a bit before returning to university. Is that an option?

As a current college student myself, I can attest to the fact that you are certainly not the only one struggling to manage. A lot of young kids nowadays feel the pressure to 'do it all' while making it look easy which is often not the case so try not to be deceived/be too hard on yourself. I also struggle with low self-esteem, which can be tough to manage when you're constantly being tested/graded/pushed, it helps for me to focus on the small victories and remind myself that the only way to improve is to fail a few times.

Your age provides you with a unique perspective and different experiences that the younger students do not have, an advantage that I am sure will show through positively in your work if you embrace and allow it. It was a big and very important step when I realized that comparing my accomplishments and goals with those of the students around me was only discouraging me, but rather embracing my background and how far I have come makes me feel a bigger sense of accomplishment and the sense that all of my hard work is indeed paying off.

Best of luck

everyone learns and grows at different rates! try not to feel so bad! There must be someone at your uni you can go to for advice about this and maybe you can get some extra support

its hard, but you're more likely to succeed if you think positive and believe in yourself

Best wishes!

Yes, is there a counselor at your school you can get advice from?

Thank you all for the advice and support it means so much.

I am definitely going through growing pains and trying to hold on for dear life and not quit.

I am currently seeing a therapist at my school but there is previous trauma that I have experienced in therapy, so the whole thing is just ideal.

Tomorrow I have to present with a group of 4 and our group hasn't done the best job preparing it! I am really worried that I won't get a chance to talk about something I know about.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

It is hard being in therapy when you've had bad experiences in it before. Hope it goes well this time
Group work never goes smoothly, unfortunately! Hope the presentation went well

((((HD7970GHZ))))

[QUOTE=seal;6303325]As a current college student myself, I can attest to the fact that you are certainly not the only one struggling to manage. A lot of young kids nowadays feel the pressure to 'do it all' while making it look easy which is often not the case so try not to be deceived/be too hard on yourself. I also struggle with low self-esteem, which can be tough to manage when you're constantly being tested/graded/pushed, it helps for me to focus on the small victories and remind myself that the only way to improve is to fail a few times.

Your age provides you with a unique perspective and different experiences that the younger students do not have, an advantage that I am sure will show through positively in your work if you embrace and allow it. It was a big and very important step when I realized that comparing my accomplishments and goals with those of the students around me was only discouraging me, but rather embracing my background and how far I have come makes me feel a bigger sense of accomplishment and the sense that all of my hard work is indeed paying off.

Best of luck

I make your words my words!
I'm also back to college and I'm 33yo. It's literally my first year and English isn't my first language. I'm a female, I have to pay for full tuition on top of all of my bills, food, and rent. In addition, major depression and recently I found out that I've developed some extreme anxiety. ALL the ODDS are against me. But like I do, use your age and wisdom as a weapon, a tool! And yes, young people are in a completely different state of mind, but so was you when you were young.

My strategy is to NEVER compare myself with others; everyone has a unique life trajectory and personality. If anything, you do have more experience and strength than these kids, so focus on succeeding and achieving your goals instead of 'fitting' in. Also, it's good to be humble and look for help. There are tutoring programs for everything, besides some awesome therapy treatments that may help you to cope with your feelings and develop skills.

After a long time, it's natural to feel 'lost', but trust me, it will go away and will pay off. Perseverance! Resuming academic studies is one of the greatest accomplishments that a person with a mood disorder can earn, and I'm really happy to hear that I'm not alone.

Hang in there. Be strong.

Many hugs to you, HD

I believe in you

So many other students I know are struggling too. It's harder with mental illness on top of everything, but university is objectively difficult work for anyone... generally too much course content is crammed into short timeframes, lots of deadlines, etc. You're not abnormal for finding this all overwhelming. I guess there are some students who are able to coast through, but I'm sure some of those apparently not struggling are incredibly stressed out as well.

Does your uni have counselling services? If so, make sure you're seeing one. For the sake of it, but also because they're familiar with your uni experiences and they can provide paperwork should you experience something mental-health-wise that disrupts your study or causes you to miss an assignment etc.
In addition to seeing a psychologist at uni I'm also signed up to the disability support services -- it allows me some accomodations like small exam rooms, time extensions, access to quiet study rooms in the library, and a person who helps me organise myself and keep track of assignments. So look into that too.

Another thing you can enquire about are any study help programs and workshops. There may be services where you can get tips on how to study effectively, time management skills, how to take notes, etc. If not, google that stuff. Learning some of those skills helps.

Hang in there It is tough so good on you for sticking it out.

I am 44 and in university. I started eight years ago part-time, took a few courses, and then took some time off. I decided at the end of last year that I wanted to do my degree. I started this past January. I am doing really, really well in most of my classes and really, really struggling in a couple others. Is doing part-time an option? I have to stay full-time to be eligible for student loans, but if I could do part-time it would be a lot less stressful.
Remember it's not all you, too. There are really ****** profs that are determined to make university as miserable an experience as possible. There are profs that just don't teach the way you learn. Is there a learning centre in your university that you can access? Your university should have lots of resources - definitely don't be afraid to tap into them!

We got 98% on our group presentation. Ahh!!!

Is that good or bad? I hope it's good

I understand completely. University is so difficult when you suffer from mental illness.

I would try and get all the support you can, my university had a counselling service. If yours does it could be something you could look into trying? I found it quite nice to have someone to talk to and to get support from. For the work side of things, seek support from tutors etc? Do you have a tutor who you are assigned to? I always used to go and see mine and she was lovely and great at helping me when I was struggling with any aspect of the work. They may have some good tips for you.

I think it's so important to look after yourself at uni as there's so much pressure to compare yourself, so above all, take regular breaks. Give yourself plenty of time to do an assignment so you can take time away from it to clear your head. My best ideas always came to me when I had a break from the work!

Hope that helps!

Good for you, Seal!! Only compare yourself to you! You see your improvements first hand. Congratulations!!

98%??? That ROCKS!!!

It's hard to copy with university for me too. From taking the bus to go to university to taking final exams. Does your university provides counseling center? Try to find out your privileges. In this semester I took a big step and learned my rights as a student and guess what? Now, I'm discussing with my professors for an alternate way to take exams. They were more than happy to help me! It's still hard for me but knowing I have a different ( & proper) treatment , it's a big relief!

(((((HD))))) congrats on the 98%

((((((((( HD ))))))))))

Thank you everyone for your support!

I am seeing a counselor at the university who is helping me to focus on resilience, self-acceptance and managing expectations.

I am struggling with the stress! I was thinking seriously about suicide last week and after the assignment I stressed so much about - I was fine. I suppose every-time we do something we are scared about (and realize we can survive) we come out on the other side with some confidence and perhaps less anxiety when the next anxiety provoking assignment happens.

I have to present an entire class in a group of 4 in early December and THAT is really scaring me! I am absolutely terrified of it!

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

(((((HD))))) I wish you loads of luck and am sending you a load of good wishes and love if it helps