[Lurker1234]

For some time my schoolmates have been insulting me and even spitting on me. When I complained to my teachers they said that it is all in my head and that without any evidence they can't do anything. Anyway the situation has got a little bit better but they still make rude comments. I know I should probably let it go but all my life I've been a doormat and I really don't want to allow them to get away with this. What should I do?

[bpcyclist]

Bullying is never okay and in the USA, is illegal in most states, I do believe. Have you told your parents what is going on?

[Skeezyks]

Thanks so much for posting your concern here on PC. I'm an old man now. But many years ago, when I was in high school, I was tortured for 4 years by a gang of older boys. Everybody knew what was going on including my parents. But nobody cared. At one point one of the boys beat me up breaking my nose. I got blamed for it. At one point, out of desperation, I went to the school principle. He told me I should take a look at myself. It may be too strong a statement to say what I experienced ruined my life. But it sure didn't help.

There are studies that have been done showing that the effects of bullying continue on well into adulthood. Victims have higher rates of mental illness as well as diminished success in employment. I obviously don't know what conditions are like where you live. But, from my perspective, I believe it's really important you do whatever you can to resolve what is being done to you. Talk to your parents or a school counselor if there is one, or someone else... whatever you can do. You wrote that things have been a bit better recently. And, hopefully, that will continue to be the case. However, especially if things worsen again, my belief is it's going to be important for you to do whatever you can to stop the bullying.

There's a wonderful video of a talk on the subject of bullying that was given several years ago by former U.S. Assistant Secretary of Education Kevin Jennings. Here's a link to the video of it on YouTube. Perhaps it might be something you could share with your parents:

I hope that, in some way, you will be able to find the support you need.

[Fuzzybear]

Bullying is not ok. I agree with the other posters.

[Anonymous42019]

Originally Posted by Lurker1234

For some time my schoolmates have been insulting me and even spitting on me. When I complained to my teachers they said that it is all in my head and that without any evidence they can't do anything. Anyway the situation has got a little bit better but they still make rude comments. I know I should probably let it go but all my life I've been a doormat and I really don't want to allow them to get away with this. What should I do?

First of all, I'm sorry for your situation. I've been there and I just want to say that it will get better, even if it might seem otherwise.

The first step would be to muster up courage and talk to your parents. Then your parent would contact your Student Support Officer at your school who will take action on your behalf. You will need courage to tell your parents, but they will be glad you told them because parents love their children and would always want to help. I'm a parent myself and feel the same for my daughter.

Another thing you can do is tell a teacher, sports coach, or any other adult you trust. Explain to them what's going on, and they will do their best to deal with it. I know it can be embarrassing to tell an adult, since you might be called a 'snitch'. It's completely up to you, don't be afraid to tell them. If you talk to them about keeping your conversation private, they won't tell anyone that you were the one that told them, and you won't be bothered about it.

You are not alone, and with a parent to help you, in the meantime do not make yourself fall into situation where you will feel inferior, because it is a downhill from there on.

Try not to look weak. Stand your ground to the point of totally ignoring them. Do not show the other person that they can dominate you. You see, usually, bullies are looking for a reaction from you. One of the things you can try is not reacting. Laugh it off, roll your eyes, or just completely ignore them. You might see that after a couple of days, they don’t bother you anymore.

This is what I did when at my school prior to being taken away for schooling at home, still I came up against bullies in my village. My father sorted them out and I am sure your parents will stand by you, too.

Do let us know how you get on. We'll be here for you.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Lurker1234

For some time my schoolmates have been insulting me and even spitting on me. When I complained to my teachers they said that it is all in my head and that without any evidence they can't do anything. Anyway the situation has got a little bit better but they still make rude comments. I know I should probably let it go but all my life I've been a doormat and I really don't want to allow them to get away with this. What should I do?

I'm sorry that you have to experience this. Let me assure you that I do understand how you feel because this has happened to me. Talk to your parents and ask them to consult legal advice and see what kind of evidence you would need to prove bully.

[nicoleflynn]

This is verbal abuse.....people who do this are very insecure. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life. It might help you. xo

[KD1980]

Do you have a phone that can record audio or video? Maybe you can record them during the act.

Are there other students around to see it? Can they be your witness when you approach your teachers?

[Lurker1234]

I did record it but in my country recording people without their permission no matter the circumstances is a crime so I can't really prove it.

[Fury]

I would go to your version of the "school district" (the people who are in charge of the schools) and file a formal complaint against the principal, maybe request to be transferred to a different school of a similar distance. Ask these things and they will wonder: what led to you wanting to leave the school entirely? If it's that bad, the city should be prompted to look into it as the school administration is ignoring it