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SprinkL3
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Heart Nov 17, 2021 at 04:13 AM
  #41
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Originally Posted by bpforever1 View Post
I've decided not to apply for the grad program since it will put me into debt and not really change my lifestyle. I thought about it and realize at my age that incurring debt is not a good idea. I will be ok with what I have. I am feeling good about myself and doing well otherwise. I thought that getting a master's would be a wise decision if I could translate it into a higher-paying job. At my age, it is unlikely to happen. I don't have any regrets about not applying. I came to my conclusion after coming to an understanding that I'm having a hard enough time just getting by with what I have. If I add any more responsibilities, I'm going to crash. I am doing well as it is but don't know when I will relapse again. This thought always will loom in the back of my mind. I like working and doing things. But, I also enjoy my free time and doing things I like. I will be ok no matter what.
I might come to the same conclusion as you, if I don't see any real positive change in society. Right now, being an older age and dealing with increasing ageism and ableism, it is tough to be competitive in the job market - or even among the boards that determine acceptance for certain doctoral programs. It's sad that it exists, but it does. There are still some very few opportunities out there, including abroad programs, but they are really hard to find, often take money to begin with, and might not be worth the risk of being in debt for the rest of our lives when the global and national economies are very uncertain at this time. Everyone is doing what they can, but this pandemic has sure caused a ripple effect.

But, FWIW, you have come a long way and made some great accomplishments! So have I. I earned awards, published a paper, earned two undergraduate degrees, gained lifetime membership and leadership experience in multiple honor societies, and gained knowledge in many areas that will benefit me in the future - even if the benefits don't equate to an actual career. There is this joy in learning more and more and building on that which we've learned - and that in and of itself is worth sharing with others.

Much of what I write online or share with others is based on what I've learned in college. My mere survival is also based on my ability to read scientific papers (including those that are both peer-reviewed and published while still under review for Covid-19 prevention). I do what I can to use the knowledge I have to better my own life as well as others. I don't need a fancy job title or a paycheck to do that.

I think this pandemic has caused many people to reinvent themselves and evaluate their new goals for the new normal. I think many have weight the pros and cons about working in certain fields, and I believe many have changed their plans and careers because of it. Some have decided on early retirement. One of my friends in Chicago saved up enough money to retire in his early 50s. He's not on Social Security, but rather, he's living off his savings. He was very frugal with his money, so now it is paying off in a sense. He can't find a job at his age, so he planned ahead for that. He does have a Master's degree, so he was able to afford saving from his six-figure jobs in the past. I, being poor my entire life, have admire his being really modest. I only barely found out his status during this pandemic, as I never knew that is how he was able to buy me dinners and lunches when I was really short on cash and living frugally at the time when I was in Chicago. I'm no longer there, but my friend remains my friend - now from a distance. He is doing pretty well, when compared to many others. But he worked hard for it.

I'm not that fortunate. He agrees, that not everyone was able to do what he did. He does consider himself very privileged and lucky. He's a planner, and he's wicked smart, but he knew what his limitations were, which saved him in the end. He could also foresee a pandemic happening, so for those - like the ones who are forecasting the perils of climate change - they will be well-prepared when that time comes. The rest of us are hopefully going to catch up, or at least struggle like we are now to survive.

Your accomplishments are impressive! I'd be proud of that and see what you can do with that now.
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Default Nov 17, 2021 at 06:45 AM
  #42
SprinkL3, I'm just going to live my life as is and be happy. I don't need to worry too much about money as long as I earn enough to get by. I am going to enjoy what I have and my surroundings. I love it here! There is everything I need here. I am getting by somehow also. I am happy. I don't need to prove anything to anybody and will be just happy the way I am. I had and have a good life. I don't miss being in debt. I like being debt-free. I also don't want to worry about the future when I don't know what to expect. I've had fancy dinners and used to go to fancy parties. I don't miss them. I eat well on my own when I like. I eat fancy desserts here and have eaten at various restaurants within my means. I am happy. My parents ate well while I was growing up so food has never been a problem for me. I have eaten at the four seasons hotel, Lawry's, Ruth's, Maine lobster in Maine, etc. Food is not that interesting to me anymore. What interests me is being healthy. I have had fancy clothes too but this does not interest me either. I prefer cheap clothes that make me look good. I also have traveled all over the USA, Canada, and here. I don't need to travel either. So, I just need to be happy and healthy.

I think you should find happiness in life. I have let go of all of my bitterness and live for myself now. You should also. Yes, I've experienced racism, ageism, and sexism also. But, I have realized these isms will always be part of living in this world sadly. I don't care about them or worry about them. I just do as I please. I am lucky to have recovered and am doing well. I live independently and pay for everything from my own earnings. I don't ask for handouts or take advantage of others. I am proud and would never have dinner with someone without reciprocating. I was brought up not to take free handouts from anybody. My mother told me that the most expensive thing in this world is that it is free. Nothing in this world is free. I always remembered this. Of course, I did eat for free at the Rescue Mission but this was because I was not able to pay for anything at the time. Since then, I pay my way no matter what. I had an acquaintance who tried to get me a job and paid for some coffee and breakfast, but he wanted sex in return so I dropped him like a hot potato. So, nothing is free in this world. I have met men who were rich but cheap too. That is another story. So, SprinkL3, please find happiness from within and meaning in your life. I am happy you are proud of your accomplishments. I am proud of my health and my well-being. I am also proud that I try not to hurt others. I don't need anybody's support or encouragement. I am fine the way I am. Thank you for writing on my thread. I think you are seeking approval and acceptance from others. I think you should invest in yourself and love yourself first and foremost. I have and am happier because of this. I have been where you are and want you to know to love yourself. If you don't, people will walk all over you. So, you have my blessings and hopefully one day you will be happy and find love for yourself, not from others.
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Heart Nov 17, 2021 at 07:28 AM
  #43
@bpforever1 - Thank you for your warm wishes for me, and for your advice and tips!

Thank you, also, for sharing a bit about your life with me here. It means a lot to me!
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