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Default Oct 21, 2021 at 03:38 PM
  #1
I had to disclose because I could not explain the gaps in my resume. I was in healthcare. I am now a teacher and translator/writer. I want to pursue writing. I don't know if I should because it is expensive and time-consuming. I will think about applying with much rumination. I am tired and stressed out. I want to write about psych disorders. Oh well.
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Default Oct 22, 2021 at 04:47 AM
  #2
The good news is they called me to talk. They are nice although I disclosed my illness. I am really happy but have to write many pieces of work and send them. I thought about it and will write extensively about myself and my experiences.
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Default Oct 22, 2021 at 04:15 PM
  #3
I'm glad it worked out and that they were nice.
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Default Oct 22, 2021 at 05:18 PM
  #4
I have to write a lot of sample essays for this program. This is going to take me time. Writing is fun, but good writing is difficult. I make a lot of mistakes in writing. My editing skills are terrible. In any case, I will have fun writing my essays. I asked the program if I could write about my experiences and about the psych field. We shall see.
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Default Oct 22, 2021 at 07:27 PM
  #5
I have heard that writing, like any skill, is like exercising a muscle. Same goes for editing. The more you do it, the better you get at it. And if you're going to go to school for it, you will learn a lot. Good luck!!
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Default Oct 23, 2021 at 01:12 PM
  #6
I am glad to hear they were understanding. You are braver than I was when I was in grad school. I didn't know how to speak to some of my professors about what was going on with me. I'm glad there was a resolution. I think you writing about psych disorders is amazing! I encourage this! Thank you for doing this because I feel the world needs more understanding.
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Default Oct 24, 2021 at 03:20 PM
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I am waiting to hear back from them about the topics I chose for the application essays. They are a reputable program and quite challenging. I want to learn, at the same time, I wonder if I can write a lot within the deadlines. I will see. I'm up for the challenge but have so much to learn prior to attending if I do get accepted to their program. I am excited and stressed. Oh well, such is life.
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Default Oct 27, 2021 at 03:45 AM
  #8
I'm getting bombarded by the program's recruitment ads. I look at them, but they take a lot of space in my e-mail account. Oh well.

I am writing but finding it hard to edit. I can write by "brain dumping", but the outcome is incoherent. I have another article to edit and my brain is farting. Fart, fart here and there, it's making me stink. I still catch some mistakes in my writing. I need to let my writing sit for a while, then edit it. I am not detailed-oriented. I will have to change this bad habit. I am frustrated that my writing is mediocre at best. I am finding it hard to improve. I should not expect much overnight, but I wish I can write with ease. I do enjoy the process though when I am writing. It is fun, cathartic, but not easy. Fart, fart all over. I'm tired now from teaching this morning. I will teach tonight as well. I think between teaching and writing, I still think teaching is easier for me.

Writing is an art that requires much refining and practice. I should not complain though since I only thought about writing a few months ago. I'm a manic writer- writing furiously when the mood hits me. I write all over the place to satisfy my appetite for writing. I enjoy it as a hobby. I just don't know if I can pursue writing as a job though. I am unconfident about my approach and anxious about the path of becoming a writer. I will write about medical and scientific matters close to my heart. But, who is going to read my writing?

Streams of consciousness- brain dumping- is not effective writing. I want to take a dump all over and relieve myself for now. I feel better. Now, I have to be serious about writing since I don't have any recourse once I embark on the path of becoming a writer. Hmm......
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Default Oct 28, 2021 at 03:41 PM
  #9
I attended a webinar for the program and did not sleep last night. I found out a lot. I am going to apply but don't expect much. I will see if I can at least get a response. They said I have five years to finish the program. However, I'm old and don't want to take this much time. I have to reduce my workload. I want to make something positive out of the program if I get in. I will see what happens.
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Default Oct 29, 2021 at 04:09 PM
  #10
I will see if I can make this happen. I am feeling dizzy these days. The room is slowly spinning. I feel motion sickness. I think I am stressed out from being continually busy these days. I also don't move around too much and am sitting for long periods of time. So, today I work only half a day. I will exercise afterwards to get my circulation going. My head feels like it is moving with the room too. I feel slightly nauseated. I may have a vestibular cochlear imbalance. I don't know why though since I never had this problem before. I am very productive now but not the happiest. I volunteered to write material for a mental health website but don't know if it will be feasible given my condition. But, I will give it a shot and see what happens.
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Default Oct 29, 2021 at 05:02 PM
  #11
I wrote the program director and the program coordinator but have not heard anything yet. I don't expect to hear from them soon. I am having impostor syndrome. I should be proud of what I'm pursuing and have achieved. I try to be confident yet feel as if the world is on my shoulders at times. I feel weighed down by inadequacies and failures. I am no great success to some people. I am a failure due to my illness and have not achieved much. But, I am learning to deal with these issues and forge forward. I feel, at times, good about myself overall. The feeling is fleeting though. I mostly feel insecure and rather old. I wish I could feel on top of this world. For now, I accept my situation and will make the best of it. Hopefully, I will feel better soon. if either person writes back, I will be touched by their time and thoughtfulness. But, I don't expect much. The room is spinning slowly now. I am unwell and need to take care of myself no matter what.
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Default Oct 31, 2021 at 11:44 PM
  #12
The program director wrote back! I'm really touched.

I wrote a lay summary of a paper for a doctor. He corrected it and pointed out my errors. I thanked him profusely for his comments. Some people are really nice to me.

I have to finish my online course. I did learn some things from it. But, the corrections from other students are not critical enough for me. I think online courses are not adequate since the instructors are not reviewing my work and grading me. But, what should I expect when the courses are free!

I have not heard from my volunteer job yet. I don't know if they need me. I will find out soon. If they do, I will write some content on mental health.

Overall, I'm doing ok. The room is still spinning slowly but it is not as bad as before. I went out today and walked around. I feel a whole lot better now.
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Default Nov 01, 2021 at 03:32 PM
  #13
I got a reply for the volunteer job to write mental health content. I'm going to talk with the director and see what they want soon. I'm happy!

I want to write a lay summary of a scientific paper. It is not easy. I will do this, this week. I don't know if I will do a good job but will try.

My writing is mediocre still. I know this since I got a few corrections on my lay summary of a review. I have to watch what I write carefully. There are many ways to say the same thing. I am still brain "dumping" and not writing cohesively. I will try to fine-tune my writing. I am making progress though so I am not discouraged.

I have to work again today. I am happy about this. I have a lot to do now and am keeping myself out of trouble. Life is not so bad although the room is still spinning very slowly. I feel like I'm bobbing up and down and around. Weird stuff.

I will conquer my fears and improve my writing somehow by writing daily. I have to take the first step and then another step until I write well. Miracles don't happen to me. I have to work at it just like everybody else.
I have to read more as well. Reading is a problem for me since I can only focus in short periods of time. I can't read while listening to music either. I like reading good books though. I will keep reading and writing.
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Default Nov 02, 2021 at 06:07 PM
  #14
I'm meeting with a mental website director today. I don't know what to expect and just read their website again. I volunteered to write social media content. I just don't know what they want yet. I will soon find out.

I have to write my lay summary for a scientific paper today since I have the time. It's just for practice. Then, I will think about submitting it for others to read and correct. But, they are too nice so I usually don't get much out of it.

I am still thinking of applying to grad school. I am leaning towards applying and seeing what happens. There is no harm in applying. However, I'm not too confident that I will be accepted. I am a mediocre writer. But, this is the reason I'm applying for a writing program though so that I can improve my writing. It is expensive too. I'm going to be in a lot of debt but believe it will pay off once I start freelancing as a science writer. I don't expect much overall. But, I know if I put the effort into doing my best that I should see results. I shall see what happens.

I have a tendency to change my mind easily also. So, I want to sit on the idea of applying for a while. If it were cheaper to go to school, I would not hesitate to apply. But, I have to be serious about this or otherwise forget about it.
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Default Nov 02, 2021 at 08:28 PM
  #15
I talked to the director and was asked to submit some writing samples. I have to get working on this. I wrote
a lay summary already and may submit this as well as another writing sample.

I am busy again. I feel good about myself. Life is moving forward, and I'm happy.
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Default Nov 03, 2021 at 01:37 AM
  #16
The paper I chose is about people with schizophrenia having excessive thirst and impaired water excretion causing imbalances in the blood levels of certain minerals and leading to death at times. The paper talks about structural changes in the brain as well as impaired brain function as compared to people without these issues. I am cutting down the paper into its essentials and will re-write it in my own words. The main problem I have with the paper is that it has too many acronyms and jargon. It is reading like alphabet soup. I have already spent four hours on it and have not finished. I need to rest and come back to it. It's beginning to become all a blur in my head. I hope to finish my first draft by tonight and send it to others to edit. I am having a headache. Oh well, I hope one day I can do this faster and more efficiently. For now, I will be satisfied with what I can do. I'm doing pretty well given the fact my experience in writing lay summaries is only one so far. Lol, what a joke! Many people want to write for the public about health topics, but it ain't easy.
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Default Nov 03, 2021 at 02:41 PM
  #17
I couldn't get the lay summary done last night but will tackle it again this weekend. There is no deadline but I want to send it in for editing. I just slept like a baby and do feel a whole lot better now. I had to get up early to teach again. I'm doing ok overall.
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Default Nov 07, 2021 at 02:10 AM
  #18
I wrapped up the lay summary and sent it in for editing. I had a hard time writing a lay summary for the water intoxication paper so I wrote another lay summary on impaired cognitive empathy in people with schizophrenia. This was difficult too since I don't have all the time in the world to write, re-write, and edit it. It took me about six hours to write something rudimentary. I have to say I slapped it together literally quoting all kinds of resources. I sent it just now because I had enough of it and don't want to spend my whole day writing a lay summary of a paper nobody is going to read. It's good practice but not easy. Also, I looked at the other people's writings and realized they must be all writing papers for their research. The few that I read were already well-polished, whereas my writing is not. I don't know who will read and correct my writing but don't think they will tell me the truth. Thus, I sent it to the author who wrote the paper I wrote a lay summary about. He should give me a good idea of what I should correct. I just hope he has the time to read my writing and correct it.

I have to write one more lay summary for the course, then I will finish it. I think it is quite an accomplishment since the course is not easy. I'm not receiving any credit for it, but it was good practice to polish my writing. I think I learned a lot from the course. I wish I had more time to absorb the material but have limited time- only one day a week to read and master the material. I think I did a better job than I expected. I did not expect that I would finish the course.

After this course, I'm going to tackle writing my application essays. I think they will be easier than writing lay summaries about research papers. I can't wait to start writing them.
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Default Nov 07, 2021 at 02:33 AM
  #19
BPforever, it sounds like you are doing well with writing and your grad applications.

I will caution, however, that if you are going for certain medical fields, their licensing requirements often require that you disclose your diagnoses and claim that you have managed them well enough to get licensure at the end of those programs. Sometimes certain programs will outright ask you those questions, though it is unclear whether they legally can for grad school purposes.

I was in a McNair program for a brief time, and they told me NOT to disclose any of my mental illnesses - especially controversial ones like dissociation. I was very disheartened that the examples they gave about disclosing physiological disorders were okay, but not mental disorders. Their reasoning was all over the place - from people inadvertently discriminating against you (even though they are technically not allowed, but it still happens) to you being seen as a "risk" for their profession and/or program, due to it sometimes being a requirement for disclosure when it comes time to apply for licensure (some choose not to for these reasons, but they nonetheless complete their grad program). It upset me that I had this conversation openly with my mentors and peers, and then the age thing came up, where they basically shot me down for my age.

So, in essence, be careful with whom you share your diagnoses with. Perhaps speak with some grad students in other programs you are NOT applying for in order to get a clearer picture on this. You want to be employable at the end of your program, and that's what grad programs are largely looking for - successful graduates who find jobs and careers afterward. Sadly, this reality keeps a lot of us disabled people held behind from ever achieving grad school status. The lack of disability access and accommodations is also disheartening, and I was told to wait until after getting accepted into a grad program before disclosing anything, and then to hopefully wait until after completing your thesis and/or dissertation, which defeats the purpose of getting help through the disability access department altogether - a "catch 22" if you will.

So, that's my two cents.

If you have found a grad program that will accept you with your diagnoses being disclosed in your application materials or otherwise, that's great! It shows great inclusivity from that program and that school. But I was told by even a couple of prominent psychologists to never disclose my DID diagnoses. Oh well, too late, since I had already put that in my undergrad application, and told the programs I was part of, which then became part of my permanent academic record. It's also part of my VA record, in case I get rehab assistance through their VRE program. But I've been personally told not to disclose my specific disorder altogether.

My self-esteem and disabilities worsened after spending time in a research lab dealing with such judgments and changes since I disclosed. I left all of that because I had no support systems in place, and my chronic fatigue worsened to the point where I couldn't concentrate anymore. And now there's this pandemic, which makes competition even higher.

So best of luck to you! But please be careful and figure out whom you can trust with these things.
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Default Nov 07, 2021 at 02:55 AM
  #20
I have disclosed my illness to the program I'm applying to. But, I won't need a license. I'm becoming a medical/ science writer. I was in the healthcare field before that required licensure. But, fortunately, I quit and don't have to worry about it anymore. Thank you for your information.

The program I'm applying for is quite progressive and understanding. I'm not going to ask for accommodations but will probably be a part-time student since I'm working. I am sure since they already know my diagnosis that if I'm not qualified then they would have told me already. I just need to write well and finish their classes. I also will write a thesis. But, luckily, I don't need a license to work as a medical/science writer and should be ok.
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