Safe Place/Comfort Place/etc.. an idea to help find one (maybe?)

I have been told by T that I need to find a new safe place due to mine right now is not good.. My T did not give me any direction on safe place finding just that it could be real, it could be imaginary..
To not have triggers in my safe place as well (i.e. I get upset with my boyfriend a lot even though he gives me great comfort, to not put him in my safe place picture in my head)
T has also used the words comfort zone instead of safe place.
Other things T has told me, is not to use words to call my safe place that may trigger or I may twist (i.e. home even though home these days is good, i can twist home or feel i have no home-- home is not a good word)

My boyfriend and I were talking on this, I need direction with some things... I told my boyfriend, I was worried I would not be able to do this due to I don't know how, and that my safe place right now has always been my safe place since a child....

My boyfriend suggested something wonderful for me to do since i like to write.

I thought I may post this to help another if possible- I just spent 20 minutes with just writing on this and just that little time, has helped so much.

This of course if you have a safe place *that could be a safer/comfortable more positive safe place* ; I am not sure if it would help if you have no safe place.. ?Maybe a start?

1) Write on my safe place as of now (the less productive one); write what it provides for me, what I feel, why is it my safe place??

Example: I control what I do, where I do it, when, infront of who ever or alone, I feel free in a sense with no problems, troubles, hurt is being let go.

2) Take those feelings, the things that are provided in my "bad safe place"... write them down...

Ex: A place to feel in control, a place to feel peace/free in a sense, a place with no more hurt, no more confusion, a place with out a problems...

3) The Toughy one for me-- think of some where you could feel #2....
I first started little, a real place. Example: In Bed-- but more imaginary-- I am in bed, white covers, white pillows, my fluffy pillow is all the pillows ; warmth i feel, natural sun light. Comfy bed, laying there......
Then I started to write more about the natural sun light, example, natural sun light, pretty blue skies with minimal clouds (then I though wow- too much sun light) ... Trees, a forest like setting.. shade but still sun light comes through, I see plants, green lush plants, with natural dirt, the brown brings out the greens soo well. Trees more of them appear, tall leafy trees, trees that are well rooted... a river appears, river flowing-- slow but rapid in some spots-- all I hear is the river, some wind through the trees.... so on

Sorry got a little carried away

But I found that this really helped-- I just here on psych central posted some ptsd stuff--- i felt bad and so many emotions.. then i remembered the exercise that my boyfriend wanted me to do-- I did it-- I feel so much releaf

But I am not sure how to keep it for the times that I am upset out of the blue or escalating to upsetting... any suggestions on that would be great-- i thought about painting my safe place, cuz I like to paint and i think something that I do and have a visual may help me keep hold of this safe place...

but i thought i would share

Be well all!!

"A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market." Charles Lamb
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=da7StUzVh3s

Thank you for sharing the tips that work well for you. I'm happy these help you and they're very good suggestions. Have you tried meditation or even slow deep belly breathing? I say belly breathing because when we're tense most people breath using only the upper chest? Some people like to have a special meditation place or a safe place in your living area. When you're in that space you totally relax and think or do something pleasurable.....like writing, deep breathing/relaxing etc.

If constant worrying or re-living the past is a problem..some find it helpful to allow themselves only a certain time per day or week to ruminate about whats bothering them. The good thing about this is, you then are free to live in the now for the rest of the time. When a bad thought pops in, you remind yourself this isn't the right time and then continue on.

When someone/something is bothering me, I imagine I have a suit of armor or I'm like a duck in the water...where the bad emotions can't penetrate my happiness. This might seem like denial but at least it gives me time to think later more logically. A safe/peaceful place can be real... in your house or in your mind. My favorite place is remembering when I was in Greece many years ago - I was in the crystal clear water and all these beautiful tropical fish were swimming around me. Mindfulness also helps but takes practice - reminding yourself all we really have is 'now'. Best of luck.

I bought a brass house key from the 1880's in a flea market sort of antique place and put it on my key ring with my house and car keys. It "opens" my library, you know, with the big, wide table for projects, all the recent computer hardware and software and the books with that ladder that is on wheels and runs across the floor so you can get the books down that are on higher shelves? There's a set of French doors leading out to the walled garden too, where I sit in good weather. . .

http://www.buildfreedom.com/content/...#the_sanctuary

My 'safe place' I imagine is somewhere I've never been. I'm sat on a back porch in southern America, and it's warm, and very still and peaceful, and I'm looking out across the fields. There's a gentle breeze, and I feel at peace.

It's given me great comfort over the years - maybe I'll get there eventually, but when I do get there, where will I imagine then?

Thanks for posting this link. It looks like that is a great activity and like the rest of the site has some great information as well. I will have to spend some time reading it tonight.