[TealOrca12]

I hope this is okay to post in this forum, I thought about posting in the self-esteem one...

In any case, does anyone else doubt their abilities in life? I am about to finish my doctoral degree, and am job hunting, and I see job posts and feel afraid to apply for jobs because I don't think I'll get them. I know the tough job climate is also related to the economy right now. Right now I'm employed for a job I'm overqualified for, but comfortable with. The current job is fine, but I do not make nearly enough to handle all my expenses and education loans. Through various jobs and my grad school training I constantly underestimated myself and I think at some points self-sabotaged myself because subconsciously, I feared success.

As a specific example, there is a pretty decent sounding job opening in the town I live. Although it is not *exactly* related to my background, it involves aspects of it and I have more education than they require. The application process requires a lot of effort (i.e. letters of recommendation, essays, etc) and I think "do I want to do all that work and not get an interview?") I also then do this thing where I convince myself I really wouldn't want to work there anyway, and it doesn't fit in with my background--but that's self-doubt talking! The fact of the matter is, I need a good job with a good salary and benefits. I've been out of health insurance for over a year, and I have massive loans and can't keep up with everything. I need to find something that will support me, my living expenses, and help me get on top of these loans. But I feel so intimidated by any job that is close to being worth it..

Does anyone else have this experience? Any advice or links to resources would be appreciated.

[AniManiac]

Yeah, I'm in the same boat - should be defending my dissertation this spring. I arranged a postdoc because I don't feel ready for a tenure-track job. I can completely sympathize with not feeling adequate to apply for jobs or worrying too much about not getting them to even apply.

Don't talk yourself out of trying and taking risks - the things people regret in life are the ones the didn't do and the risks they didn't take. Living a "safe" life doesn't tend to be very fulfilling and may lead to a lot of regrets. That's why I pursued my PhD even though I was not confident I'd be able to do even that.

For me, it's one of those "just do it" things. You might not get the job if you apply, but you definitely won't get the job if you don't apply! Although I was feeling completely inadequate when I was hunting for faculty jobs, and only sent out 3 apps (omg, so much work!) one of them wanted a campus visit - by then I already had the postdoc set up, so I declined, but it made me feel a lot more confident about my ability to get a job and (hopefully) handle it once I've finished my postdoc.

You know your limits better than anyone else, but try not to underestimate yourself either. Good luck!

[TealOrca12]

Thanks for the kind words. I know I definitely need to at least try! I think some of the intimidation stems from knowing how much effort is involved in applying for positions. I also have this "thing" about asking for letters of recommendation-I feel like I don't want to bother people and I haven't kept in great touch with my old supervisors/professors, etc, so I feel bad asking for that favor, if you know what I mean.

Btw- is the "ani" in your username about ani difranco? if so, I love her!!!