[JoeS21]

A therapist told me that I played the role of, "scapegoat," growing up. I see that because my entire life, including the present, people often don't believe me when I tell the truth so I'm easy to blame for things. I am tired of this and want to change it. I will get help when I can afford it. Meanwhile, does anyone have any suggestions for overcoming this?

Well, why is it that people don't often believe you? What type of situations are you being blamed for? Can you give some examples?

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by JoeS21

A therapist told me that I played the role of, "scapegoat," growing up. I see that because my entire life, including the present, people often don't believe me when I tell the truth so I'm easy to blame for things. I am tired of this and want to change it. I will get help when I can afford it. Meanwhile, does anyone have any suggestions for overcoming this?

Scapegoat is a role that some children play growing up in dysfunctional families, so i learned more about it by reading ACOA material and codependency books. Cuz that is my role in my family too. My mother thinks i am lying when i am telling the truth, but she believes me when i lie!! Its like she doesnt know me, or even ever wanted to know me. She just wanted me to be the opposite of what i am, i guess. So i am just trying to BE ME, and whoever doesnt like it, can lump it.

[JoeS21]

Originally Posted by ChaoticInsanity

Well, why is it that people don't often believe you? What type of situations are you being blamed for? Can you give some examples?

There's no one situation. It's everything I say. For example, if I say my favorite flavor of ice cream is chocolate, people are like, "yeah right."

[Dogfan]

Scapegoats are easy targets because at some point you gave up sticking up for yourself and accepted the abuse.
I remember begging my mother to believe me when she caught my sister doing something and she'd lie and say I was doing it too, so I'd get hit along with her.
A very helpless feeling.

The only way to stop being picked on is stand up to them. It's scary, but get indignant like everyone else when their being maligned. If they go, 'yeah, right' when you say 'chocolate' -- don't ignore it. Have a terse response, ' okay know-it-all, what IS my favorite flavor then?!' or 'why'd you bother to ask if you decided for me.' Something like that. It works, because it puts it back on them. They'll try and make it seem you're overreacting, but you're not.

I know it seems immature, and I used to not say anything and just let it go and take the 'high road' as they say, only to eat myself out later about it, but the older I get the more I'm convinced we never really get out of high school!

Just give like you get.

Good luck

[Eris]

@OP, when you can, get a counselor specializing in trauma.