[H3rmit]

I feel frustrated because I really cannot set any goals that are motivating.

I'm good at getting done whatever needs getting done, no problems with mundane things like work, school, or chores, but I just never have had anything joyful or inspiring pulling me forward. It's been all push and duty. Life has not been satisfying. I'm about to graduate with my BSC and it all seems so pointless, I'm actually embarrassed. I won't both to go to the ceremony, for sure.

I need a reason to live. Duty isn't cutting it.

Had a look at the book posted in the sticky post of this forum. I can't seem to translate my values into a chunk of anything worthwhile. The world is a mad and terrible place, and I don't see a thing I can do to change that. One of my first posts on PC, in the careers forum, covered related issues.

Any thoughts?

[Almeera]

Wish I could help, but all I can do is relate. At the moment I'm going forward because there's no other place to go but forward, doing the things I have to do - work, house chores, weekly visits to the parents, more work - but for the life of me I don't understand why.

For the longest time, I thought "accomplishing X will make me happy" (where X was successively graduating, finding a job, getting married... and other social milestones like that), until I realized it's not cutting it for me *at all*.

If you ever find an answer to this, do share. I'm looking too...

[Neurotic 2 the bone]

Originally Posted by H3rmit

I feel frustrated because I really cannot set any goals that are motivating.

I'm good at getting done whatever needs getting done, no problems with mundane things like work, school, or chores, but I just never have had anything joyful or inspiring pulling me forward. It's been all push and duty. Life has not been satisfying. I'm about to graduate with my BSC and it all seems so pointless, I'm actually embarrassed.
Any thoughts?

It sounds to me like you are actually quite good at not only setting goals, but achieving them. That is no easy feat to accomplish. Work, school, graduating with a BSC, those are goals you set and achieved. You're not giving yourself credit for the things you've done. You're only seeing the things you haven't done. As though somehow what you've accomplished doesn't matter or count. It does count. Not everyone can accomplish those things. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You should be proud.

It seems to me like the real problem is depression. You're very good at setting and achieving goals, they're just not bringing you joy. So there's something missing in your life. Something else outside of the goals you've achieved. Something in your personal life maybe. Perhaps if you had that, you would be more satisfied in life.

[H3rmit]

Originally Posted by Almeera

If you ever find an answer to this, do share. I'm looking too...

Check out the book, some sections on values in relation to goal setting as well as motivation. I'd love to know what you think, if you're interested.

Originally Posted by Neurotic 2 the bone

So there's something missing in your life. Something else outside of the goals you've achieved. Something in your personal life maybe. Perhaps if you had that, you would be more satisfied in life.

There's something missing all right. My personal life has always been tough, because anything to do with people has required massive effort to get through many barriers. I can pat myself on the back for all my successes and take some pride (not excessively, though), but what I have always wanted is the joy and absorption that I have read about in experiences and biographies of what I will call great artists and thinkers. Could be musicians, writers, scientists, philosophers, various people whose work I've admired and enjoyed.

I do feel embarrassed because I have lived over 50 years without doing much more than necessities. That's how I feel, and my feelings are valid and true. As described in the book I mentioned, I have been distracted and indulgent. I need to find my way back from this lost place and be true to myself. I've struggled so hard to fit in even a little that I feel I have lost myself and I don't like what is left over.

Thanks, everyone for replies.

[growlycat]

Goals are frustrating me at the moment. Lots of work, little result. lots of tears. Sometimes I really want to give up. Wish I could offer something helpful.