[Ad Intra]

I'm 22, but hardly an adult. I just graduated from college, I'm doing an internship right now, and in the fall will be starting grad school. Issue is that I still live at home. While in college I worked 3 jobs (not at the same time), but minimum wage isn't enough to live off of. Another concern is that I stayed home and went to a local university due to money (if I would I left I could have been 10,000 more in debt). Yet, I still don't have a place and I have no right to call myself an adult.

In my experience, most people gradually grow into feeling like an adult. Living with your parents certainly doesn't "disqualify" you from being an adult, but I know it does make it harder to feel like one for most people.

When we are around our parents, most of us feel our "childhood role" pulling at us, and we feel less grown-up. For lots or even most of us, this problem can last well beyond our 20s.

So, if you want to feel more grown-up, it could be worth your time to explore options for living away from your parents. It will probably mean living in a much less nice situation. You have to decide if that's important enough to your psychological health to go for it. There are options like living in a group house that can be lots less expensive than renting your own apartment.

You sound like you need to get out on your own. I hope that you're able to do that. If it's just too expensive right now, how much longer are you looking at for grad school? Two years? Or are you talking about an advanced degree?

Another thing to consider is if you will have an office or shared area at the school when you become a grad student. Being in grad school can often give you a place to spend more time at school, so you're only at home for sleeping.

[CopperStar]

I've met homeless people with no education, no home, nothing and who had to go to charity kitchens just to be able to eat. And they were definitely adults.

Being an adult means taking responsibility for your own life, to the very best of your ability, and that can be different for different people.

[SilentStorm24]

I am 30 and live on my own with a child and two jobs and I still feel like a "fake adult."

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

I have no right to call myself an adult - I think you will find you are an adult but it is very difficult to get started on an independent life. What are your friends doing about this - perhaps you can get some locally relevant guidance from them?

[ethanbridges]

Adult by one definition is: "A fully developed person from maturity onward".

Your circumstances don't necessarily reflect your maturity.

"Fake adult"? That's only a sign that we're all young at heart.

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

~ W. Shakespeare

[hvert]

When you start grad school, will you still have to live at home? I also lived at home during college. I am really happy I had no debt, but it wasn't until I moved out that I really felt like I was living my own life. In hindsight, maybe I would have been better off in some ways if I had left home sooner. I feel like I missed out on a lot of 'normal' 20 year old stuff.

[RoboNoid]

Originally Posted by Ad Intra

I have no right to call myself an adult.

I dont think i will ever feel like an adult

im 28 now

Originally Posted by CopperStar

I've met homeless people with no education, no home, nothing and who had to go to charity kitchens just to be able to eat. And they were definitely adults.

Being an adult means taking responsibility for your own life, to the very best of your ability, and that can be different for different people.

Thank you for this. Well said.

Ad Intra, I think you're very smart for staying with your parents while you finish your education. I wish I had that opportunity.

I've been on my own since I was 16, so I was thrown into the adult world far too early. I am self-sufficient and have great survival skills, but there is certainly a lot missing in my development as an adult.

I'm now 45, and while I have adult moments and I am responsible, I rarely feel like a grown up. I think we have several ages in us all at once, and its fun to embrace that sometimes.

[Shaly78]

I'm impressed working, intern, education what else could you ask for in a adult? Don't be so hard on yourself you will get a place. Your effort is there just a matter of time!