[Wants2Fly]

For a few months now, I have been using this technique to silence the committee in my head (you know the one -- all those voices that argue amongst themselves about what we should/shouldn't do and how to do it ).

Whenever a "you' statement crops up, I immediately change it to an I statement.

"You should take an aspirin for that headache. You need to eat. You should expercise. You're a jerk."

Somehow, just saying, "I need to take an aspirin" is helping to me to feel more like one whole person. And I'm better able to dispute the statement, "I'm a jerk," because somehow by owning the thought, it's easier not to treat myself that way.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((( Wants2Fly ))))))))))))))))

[Perna]

That's a neat system, Wants. I use to just fight the guys "visually" or humorously when I felt I was not giving myself enough support, would yell "Support!" inside my head (an empty dome :-) and three guys wearing togas would run through and set up a huge Corinthian column then run out the other "ear" :-) Very distracting to any detractors LOL

[(JD)]

Very good reframing!

[Fuzzybear]

try this tune..........xoxoxo pat

[Wants2Fly]

Thank you for the acknowledgements, Fuzzybear and Fayerody.

Hugs and hugs.

send me some tapes!!!!!!!!!!!OR keep this image in your head, two aging white women and a cranky Japanese man, shadowed by Navajoes.

[Wants2Fly]

There's gotta be a screenplay in that scenario somewhere. Hmmm? What director shall we hire? Someone quirky. Jarmusch? John Waters?

At least John Waters! No one else would get it.....especially the cross cultures, interacting and forming one big ball of yarn.......

[RiverX]

Great idea, I'll try it, the reclaiming to 'I' statements.

River.x

[Wants2Fly]

Tell me if it works for you, RiverX. I'd love to know.

[drclay]

Wants2Fly and RiverX:

What method are you trying out? I've lost track of this thread, so help me find my way.

drclay

[drclay]

Wants:

I lost track of this thread, then I found it. I'm still not sure I understand it. You statements are often someone criticizing or blaming someone else, so you are saying what a person is suggesting that another person should do might be a good idea for them to do???

Suppose another's statement is blaming someone else, you assume that the critical statement fits the speaker better than the the person the speaker blames?

I'm not saying that very clearly. Can you straighten me out about how you use the method?

This kind of simple technique is valuable (if a person can understand it (:-).

drclay

drclay

[drclay]

I'm lost again--

I read some interesting post recently about finding and using self-help material. It looked interesting but I have lost sight of it. Can someone help me find that discussion? Thanks.

drclay

[(JD)]

Is this the one? http://tinyurl.com/yukcrx Application of self help ideas?

[seeker1950]

Wants...One of my best therapists decsribed me as having a "chatterbox" in my head! I did!! though since then I've leaned to quieten it. Now, if a committee wants to meet, we do so with some semblance of order.
Patty

[Wants2Fly]

Start with the assumption that at least some of us have a committee in our heads. The members of the committee are continually offering their opinions:

"You dummy. Why did you do that?"

"You'll be much better off if you move."

"No, really, you should stay put."

These voices in my head address me as if I am separate from them. I have dissolved the committee by changing all "you" statements to "I statements."

"I'm a dummy. Hey, wait a minute. No, I'm not. I'm human, and I made a mistake."

"I should move. Or maybe I shouldn't."

Instead of having these wild criticisms shooting at me from every direction, poisoning my thoughts, once I take responsibility for them, I find it easier to grasp that I do not want to call myself myself a dummy, that whether or not I want to move is a decision that only person needs to reason through -- me.

I no longer accept internal "you" criticisms from myself. I change each and every one to an I-statement.