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Old 07-17-2017, 10:57 AM   #1
Anonymous57777
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Default Meaningful and Purposeful Conversation

Since kindergarten, I have been in the doghouse for talking to much. Wrote "I will not talk in class" sentences thousands of times in elementary school. Sometimes it helps me, sometimes it hurts me. My goal is to stick to more meaningful and purposeful conversations. The kind that encourage people or serve a useful purpose. And for my H--no repetition and less confusion. I have been working on this and improving but have a long way to go. According to this article:
Think Before You Speak
you should think this before speaking:
1. Do you actually have something to say?
2. Consider your audience.
3. Consider your purpose.
4. Are you being specific?
5. Think about the words you choose.
6. Are you making an assumption?
7. Are you aware of your body language and tone of voice.

I definitely need to follow these tips more consistently. Does anyone else at PC struggle in any of these areas?
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Old 07-17-2017, 12:42 PM   #2
leejosepho
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Default Re: Meaningful and Purposeful Conversation

Question 8: Does the other person actually *want* to hear what you want to say?

I tend to expect or hope other people will be brief and concise, but then I have trouble doing the same.
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Old 07-17-2017, 12:48 PM   #3
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Default Re: Meaningful and Purposeful Conversation

I find more meaning in a conversation if I listen. If the conversation gives me a purpose, I consider my purpose carefully before I speak of it to anyone.
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Old 08-31-2017, 07:29 AM   #4
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Default Re: Meaningful and Purposeful Conversation

I have decided that when I talk to much it is because I am mentally unstable.

When I am afraid to talk freely to my husband, bad things are going on in my head about my relationship with him. I need to be more upfront with him about my thoughts.

When I am mentally stable, many of my conversations have been meaningful and helpful. So, my new thought is talk less about myself (so boring) but don't be afraid to express yourself. However, if you are angry at someone, wait for your anger to cool (sleep on it) before telling anyone off.
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Old 06-02-2021, 07:13 AM   #5
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Default Re: Meaningful and Purposeful Conversation

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anonymous57777 View Post
Since kindergarten, I have been in the doghouse for talking to much. Wrote "I will not talk in class" sentences thousands of times in elementary school. Sometimes it helps me, sometimes it hurts me. My goal is to stick to more meaningful and purposeful conversations. The kind that encourage people or serve a useful purpose. And for my H--no repetition and less confusion. I have been working on this and improving but have a long way to go. According to this article:
Think Before You Speak
you should think this before speaking:
1. Do you actually have something to say?
2. Consider your audience.
3. Consider your purpose.
4. Are you being specific?
5. Think about the words you choose.
6. Are you making an assumption?
7. Are you aware of your body language and tone of voice.

I definitely need to follow these tips more consistently. Does anyone else at PC struggle in any of these areas?
This was a thread I started when I had a different username.

I still have days where I need to remind myself of these rules. It has been
helpful that I have been teaching an online ESL class for a while. I can go back and view previous classes and see my strengths and weaknesses. My strengths include varied intonation, high energy and a happy demeanor. My weaknesses include talking too much (ESL is about giving the student as much time as possible to talk and respond then just focusing on a few corrections because IMO, they will remember better if you just focus on a few pointers and not try to fix or help them understand everything that comes to mind), saying too many filler words (I have fixed most of this by watching previous classes) and looking at the camera (this one is more about being getting better in front of a camera). Also, it is always good to be in the moment so that you can pick up on the other person and respond in the moment. When I am in the flow, I am good at this but can occasionally have a day where I feel distracted though it is less likely to happen in the morning for me (hardly ever) because I usually wake up feeling positive. IMO sometimes our personal struggles can take us out of flow.

This is not about my ESL classes but I am learning not to share as much before considering how the person will respond. Sometimes it is better to say nothing at all; however, when it is important but you are not sure the advice will be well received, I like the tips in Dr. Grace Lee's video including her suggested buffers (and if they say its not OK to share, then I need to resist the urge to tell them anyways ):

5 Best Phrases to Express Your Opinions without Offending Anyone - YouTube
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Old 06-03-2021, 10:22 PM   #6
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Default Re: Meaningful and Purposeful Conversation

I am having a dream that I can speak at all....

It sounds wonderful.

Any kind of conversation is alright with me. I would speak to open air in the desperation that someone talked to me for once in my life. And if it were ever deep and meaningful conversation, then I might bust a gut trying to say anything at all once more. I've gotten out of not talking at all. And it is wonderful. Just med-checks trained me to have a way to say things that is ingrained in my head. Since I never speak, the check-ups seemed to make me a more conversing person. It was a big jump. And even thought it was a med-check, I was thrilled I talked. I feel like I'm going far in this world in the near future because of the doctors. Once more it all matters.

Not talking at all, it seems to have made me a bad conversationalist. I wish I had taken the time out to just speak to so many people. Never thought they would really accept it though. That was a farce though. Not talking at all made me wish so much later that I could even just voice my opinion. And there is some information that says I don't have to worry so much about it all. Need to get through it.

But deep conversation is the best.
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Old 06-04-2021, 03:52 AM   #7
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Default Re: Meaningful and Purposeful Conversation

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brego View Post
I am having a dream that I can speak at all....

It sounds wonderful.

But deep conversation is the best.
Sigh, yes, deep conversations are the best.

It is wonderful when we can express ourselves and you did it very well in your post! I hope you have the opportunity to talk to more people that just the people checking your meds.

I am glad your doctors are helping you.

It has been a few years because lines aren't like they used to be but I used to go through certain people's checkout lines at the grocery store because we sometimes had good conversations (but not deep , I suppose I was starved for any kind of conversation?)
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Old 07-29-2021, 08:53 AM   #8
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Default Re: Meaningful and Purposeful Conversation

Another important skill needed to have meaningful and purposeful conversations:
How to Improve Active Listening Skills (Your Secret Weapon to Listen Better) - YouTube
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